Читать книгу Sorry, But Has There Been a Coup: and other great unanswered questions of the Cameron era - Steve Lowe - Страница 6

Did Sam Cam invent trip-hop?

Thank God for the kooky colour brought along by Sam Cam. Somehow earthier and also posher than her husband, she is good for David’s image. She makes him less of a twat.

Because Sam Cam has edge. She didn’t wear a hat to the Wedding. She is so ‘very unconventional’, David once explained, because ‘she went to a day school’ (she is no respecter of boarders). She is literally covered in piercings and tattoos (you should see her trying to get through customs!). And, yes, she invented trip-hop.

While studying in Bristol, Sam Cam befriended Adrian Vowles, aka future trip-hop auteur Tricky. The unlikely pair would hang out and play pool together. After he schooled her in some crafty manoeuvres, they hustled the mean streets of Montpelier.

At which point, oh, this journeyman rapper suddenly morphs into a multi-talented sampling/rapping guru, whose debut album carries all before it, artistically and commercially. Coincidence? I don’t think so.

They were calmly fleecing some more mugs when Sam unveiled her master plan: thus far, British hip-hop had always been a joke, but how about a stoned, sensual, distinctively English form of hip-hop; like hip-hop, only trippier. Trip-hop, yah? That definitely happened.

So, Sam Cam invented trip-hop. How’s that for colour? Suddenly, Dave is not just some off-the-peg hooray, which he otherwise could have been thanks to his looks and also personality. No, his wife invented trip-hop, and for this he must be eternally grateful.

You can also take her home to your mum.

Oh, and she’s very rich. On one level, most men do think they would like a wife who is very, very rich. And, who knows, maybe they would? A wife who plays pool but is also, you know, stinking rich. That’s what we’re looking at here: someone with more than one house.

According to reports, Tricky would have happily taken things further. Which conjures images of Cameron and Tricky both vying for the lady’s affections, like some crazy-assed Austen novel, only set in Bristol rather than Bath, and with one of the suitors being a little black guy with a West Country accent and a chronic addiction to weed (admittedly quite a departure for Austen).

Sam Cam’s maiden name was Miss Sheffield: even that’s perfect.

I guess it could be called Samantha. Or Sense and Sensimilia.