Читать книгу The Woman's Book of Spirit - Sue Patton Thoele - Страница 14

ANGER IS AN OUT -OF-HEART EXPERIENCE. That doesn't mean that it's a terrible no-no and that we shouldn't feel it or express it.

In fact, examined anger is often an incredible teacher. Exploring our experience of anger nonjudgmentally often helps us uncover valuable clues as to what we expect, what we want, what we fear, and where we feel especially vulnerable. Indeed, examined anger is a spiritual ally. Examined anger remains moist and movable, supple and malleable to our inquiring minds. From it, we can learn to stop accepting the unacceptable in terms of treatment directed toward us.

However, unexamined and consequently suppressed or repressed anger is a different story. Very often it solidifies into resentment which shuts down our hearts and leeches all joy from our lives. In effect, resentment holds a gun to our heart and says, “Beware! You better dry up, and protect yourself. Opening up is dangerous.” Resentment almost always guarantees aridity.

I don't know about you, but I was vigorously trained in anger-aversion and was an apt student. One of my primary life lessons continues to be transforming my self-loathing and self-judgment whenever I feel anger, and learning to use it constructively.

One great way I've found to keep anger moist and movable is to take it less seriously. Anger is great fodder for humor, and when expressed as such, we're often able to lighten up and laugh. For example, after an incredibly unfair divorce settlement, a friend of ours had Gene and I doubled over with laughter as he expounded dramatically about the book he was going to write: How to Hold onto Your Anger when It's All You've Got Left! Through humor, he was healthfully expressing just how upset he was at the injustice of his divorce. His intention was to learn from and move through his anger, but for now, it was giving him the energy he needed to walk this piece of the road.

Give yourself permission to explore and express your anger lightly and from the heart. As the saying goes, “What does it matter if a teaspoon of vinegar is spilled on a hill of sugar?”

I take my anger lightly.

I examine my anger and learn from it.