Читать книгу Desert Rogues Part 1 - Сьюзен Мэллери, Susan Mallery - Страница 14

The old man in front of them spoke ancient words. Around them, dozens of people sat on fat pillows, while candles lit the vastness of the room. But for Dora, the world had been reduced to a sharp pain, a futile quest for forgetfulness, and the death of a dream.

Even as Khalil took one of her hands in his and spoke, she couldn’t think about anything but what that woman had said. The lies, dear God, they had to be lies. She couldn’t have been speaking the truth. That wasn’t possible. Khalil had said he wasn’t sure he could leave New York without her, hadn’t he? She pressed her fingertips to her temple and tried to remember what, exactly, had happened the night they’d made love…and the next morning. Had she misunderstood? Was that possible? Had his proposal been a courtesy, nothing more?

No, she thought frantically. He’d insisted. She’d thought it was all a joke, but he’d pursued her, hadn’t he? Just as he’d really convinced her that he wanted her. She remembered him taking off his clothes so that he could show her the proof of his desire. She hadn’t imagined that—after all, she’d never seen a naked man before. So that part had really happened. Surely he couldn’t have been able to pretend to want her if he hadn’t felt that way. Except she didn’t know enough about men to figure out any of this. Could he have been aroused for other reasons? Had he been thinking about Amber instead? But if he’d been thinking about his fiancée, why had he come to Dora’s bed?

The holy man spoke more words. Incense filled the large hall. The room seemed to tilt and spin, and then Khalil removed her veil and pressed his mouth to hers.

The intimate contact caught her off guard. She flinched in surprise, then tried not to feel the familiar heat of his mouth. Despite her pain and confusion, just the lightest brush of his lips against hers sent liquid heat pouring through her body. If he had continued kissing her, or if he’d touched her anywhere else, she would have found herself unable to resist him.

The reality of her need for this man terrified her. They’d only been together once. How could she have changed so much in such a short period of time, and how could she go back to what she’d been before? She didn’t want to be vulnerable to him; she needed to be strong.

When Khalil raised his head, the crowd around them cheered. He grinned as he tucked the veil back in place. “Now you are officially my wife, little desert rose. What do you say to that?”

She searched his face, desperate to find a clue, a hint that he was happy and that this was what he wanted. But she didn’t know him well enough to read his expression. She could only guess, and the new questions in her mind made her question everything she found.

“Khalil?”

But he was torn from her before he could say anything. A group of men spirited him away, while dozens of women led her in the opposite direction. In a matter of minutes she and Khalil had been led across the hall into an even larger room set with dozens of huge tables. They were seated next to each other at the center of the largest banquet table. A feast lay before them, but the thought of eating churned Dora’s stomach.

She tried to concentrate on her surroundings. The beauty of the room, ancient tapestries hanging from an arched ceiling nearly three dozen feet overhead, the open windows and doorways leading to balconies overlooking the sea, the lush displays of tropical flowers filling corners and overflowing the tables, caught her eye if not her attention.

Conversation and laughter filled the room, but she couldn’t participate. The wild desert music made her head pound. She ignored the food Khalil set on her plate and barely sipped her wine.

“You are quiet,” Khalil said, leaning close to be heard over the crowd. “Did the ceremony disappoint you?”

“Not at all.” She cleared her throat. This wasn’t the time to have a talk about what Amber had said. “I have a slight headache.”

His dark eyes flashed. “I hope it gets better soon. I have missed my desert cat and had hoped I would get to visit her again this night.” He put a hand on her thigh, then slipped it between her legs for a brief, erotic caress. “It’s been too long.”

She stared at him, not sure what to believe. Unfortunately it was impossible to think with his fingers rubbing against that magical center of her being. Shivers rippled through her, and her breasts swelled. She wanted to let her legs fall open so that he could touch her again and again until she found her release. Even as she acknowledged that he could have been lying about everything, she sensed that he would always have sexual power over her. The situation was intolerable…worse, it was inescapable.

She suffered through the rest of the meal, trying to smile and pretend that all was well. When the dessert trays were brought out, Khalil leaned close again.

“Everyone will understand if we make our escape now. Rihana has packed your bag for the night.”

She blinked. “What bag? For what night?”

He gave her a slow, lazy smile. “You’ve spent two weeks in the harem. Didn’t my grandmother tell you about the traditional wedding night?”

Mutely Dora shook her head.

“Ah, then I suspect you will enjoy the surprise,” he told her. “I know I will enjoy sharing it with you.”

As he rose, the pace of the music changed. The beat increased, as did the volume. Instantly they became the center of attention.

“You sneak away so soon?” Malik called from his place at the far end of the table. “But then my little brother was always impatient.”

Khalil waved him off. “We have far to go. It’s late.”

“You need to go far so she won’t be able to run away in horror,” Jamal, Khalil’s middle brother joked. At least Dora assumed it was a joke. Everyone laughed out loud.

Khalil ignored that comment and the others that followed. He took Dora’s hand and started for the door. But dozens of people stopped them, the men offering congratulations, the women smiling at her with friendliness, or envy. Dora’s numbness crept down to her bones, and she found herself barely able to register what was going on.

Then, just as they were to make their escape, Amber appeared in front of them. If Dora had any doubts, they were dispelled when she felt her husband stiffen as if he’d slammed into a wall. He obviously felt some strong emotion for this woman.

Amber, as beautiful as the most perfect statue ever created by man, stared up mutely. Tears clung to her lower lashes, but did not fall. Her lips trembled. She was a vision of pain.

“Khalil,” she breathed softly. “I love you.”

For Dora, the confession was a knife to the heart. She had to force herself to stay silent, to not cry out. Why had this happened? Why had she been a fool for the second time in her life?

Khalil pushed past Amber without saying a word. In a matter of minutes, Dora found herself in the passenger seat of a four-wheel-drive vehicle, heading away from the palace.

“Khalil?”

He drove with easy confidence. “Relax. We aren’t going that far. Tradition states that we ride to our destination, but I didn’t think you’d be up to that.”

“Ride?”

He shot her a grin. “Horses.”

Her brain refused to function. She turned the thought over in her mind a few times until she realized he meant that the usual tradition was for the bride and groom to ride away on horseback. “Where are we going?”

“You’ll see. It’s just over the rise.”

Buildings quickly fell away. To the left and right, the city rose around them, but in front was only wilderness.

“This is all royal land,” Khalil told her. He pulled off his traditional headdress and tossed it into the back seat. He still wore robes that were only a few shades darker than her own. They emphasized his height and strength, leaving her feeling slightly vulnerable, as well as confused and foolish.

“Much of the city sits on land that is owned by the royal family, although it is granted to the government in hundred-year blocks, and we don’t require any rent. But this section is kept private and undeveloped.”

Dora glanced around and tried to take an interest in her surroundings. There was a wild sort of beauty to the untamed vastness that was the desert. In less than ten minutes they’d left the city and palace behind, and now it seemed they were the only two people around for miles.

They reached the peak of the hill. Below lay a shallow valley with an oasis in the center. Dora had never seen such a thing before, except perhaps in books or movies, but she recognized the startlingly green island of life in the middle of brown emptiness. Slender palms formed a half circle around a deep blue pool. Lush plants and bushes grew everywhere. On the far side of the pool, animal tracks littered the muddy banks, and to the left stood a large beige tent.

“Your palace for the night, milady,” Khalil said, his voice teasing.

Dora could only stare. One of the flaps had been tied open, inviting them inside. As Khalil drew closer, she could see several Jeeps already parked behind the tent, and armed men patrolling the area.

“Who are they?” she asked stiffly.

“They are the unfortunate reminder of reality. Tradition dictates that we spend our first night as man and wife out in the desert. It’s something my family has been doing for generations. However, times have changed, and it’s no longer a simple matter for a prince to take his bride away for the night. So we have a few guards with us.” He gave her a reassuring pat on the hand. “Don’t worry. They’ll stay well back—we’ll have our privacy.”

A tent, the desert, guards? Where would this madness end? What had she been thinking when she’d accepted his proposal? Or perhaps she hadn’t been thinking. Maybe that was her problem. She’d wanted to believe so very much that she’d ignored the obvious…that a man like him could never want a woman like her.

Khalil parked next to the tent, then walked around and opened her door. She stepped out because she couldn’t think of anything to say, and for now it was easier to go with him.

One of the guards moved close as they approached and held open the loose tent flap. His expression was closed and forbidding, and when they entered, he secured the flap behind them.

“Don’t they make you nervous?” Dora asked.

“On the contrary. They make me feel very safe.”

She supposed that he was right—better to be protected than not. Then she turned and faced the interior of the tent and thankfully, she didn’t have to think about anything at all for a few minutes. It was far better to lose herself in the magic that had been created at the edge of a small oasis.

A smaller inner tent filled the larger one. Dora stepped into a cream-and-gold wonderland of thick rugs and wall hangings, dozens and dozens of deep red pillows. A bed stood in the corner on a dais, the covers pulled back, the soft white linens offering welcome.

To the right sat a table laden with covered dishes. Champagne—for the Khan family was not Muslim—chilled in an ice bucket. The rugs deceived her feet and the tapestries deceived her eyes. Had she not seen the tent for herself, she would have thought she were in some luxurious home in an exotic town.

“It’s lovely,” she told Khalil.

“We know how to travel in style,” he said lightly. “Something we learned more than a thousand years ago.”

He came up behind her and placed his hands on her shoulders. She told herself not to react, or at the very least, not to overreact. But it was impossible. Before she could stop herself, she flinched violently, then tore herself away and spun to face him.

“Don’t!” she ordered. “Don’t touch me.”

Khalil stepped back in surprise. “What’s wrong?” He stared at her, his dark eyes searching her face. “This is more than wedding nerves, isn’t it? Something has happened.”

“How perceptive,” she said sarcastically. “What was your first clue?”

He frowned. “What is it, Dora? Why are you acting like this? It’s not in your nature to be a petty female. You are usually so reasonable. Tell me?”

She stared at him, at this man to whom she had been bound in separate ceremonies nearly half a world apart. “You don’t know me at all,” she said softly. “But that’s only fair, because I don’t know you, either.”

He gestured impatiently. In his traditional robes, he looked very much the part of the prince of a desert kingdom. A prince who would never have willingly chosen her for his wife.

“You haven’t answered the question,” he said. “What’s wrong?”

“Amber came to see me,” she told him. “Today, just before the ceremony.”

His expression didn’t change at all. She might as well have told him about the weather for all he seemed to care. “She is not to be trusted,” he said. “Ignore everything she said.”

“It’s not that easy. Don’t you want to know what she said to me?”

“Not really.”

She wanted to laugh, but it hurt too much. Pressure tightened in her throat. “I wish I could forget, but I can’t. The words are burned into my brain.”

She drew in a deep breath. “Khalil, she said that you had a fight with her while you were in New York. She said that was the reason you came to—” She paused. “The reason you were intimate with me was to get back at her. That it was never about me at all.”

As she spoke she stared at him, desperately hoping for a sign that it was all false. She wanted him to get angry and frustrated, to pull her close and say that Amber had the heart of a worm and that of course he loved her, Dora. She wanted reassurance and kind words and patience, and then she wanted him to make gentle love to her.

Instead Khalil stalked to the doorway and clutched the thick fabric. “I see.”

It was not what she wanted to hear. The pressure in her chest increased, and she was suddenly cold. If she’d eaten anything that day she would have thrown up, but mercifully her stomach was empty.

The silence grew around them. She found herself filling the space with ugly words.

“She said that you were shocked to find out I was a virgin. Shocked and h-horrified.” She could feel the tears burning in her eyes, and she blinked them back. “She said you proposed out of a sense of duty and that neither of you expected me to say yes.” Her voice dropped to a whisper. “She said you would divorce me so you could marry her.”

“Enough!” he growled. “She tells you lies. All lies. We will not speak of this again.”

She didn’t remember ever being this cold. The tears fell, and there was nothing she could do to stop them.

“That’s not good enough,” she told him. “I want to know the truth.”

“Why?” he asked as he turned to look at her. Anger sharpened his features. “What will it change? You are my wife, and you will stay my wife.”

She gave a strangled sound and sank onto one of the thick cushions. Amber had been right about everything. What had she done? “She said you were with her. All these past nights when I was in the harem, she said you stole into her father’s house and took her. That was why you didn’t come to me.”

Khalil stalked toward her, then stopped and loomed above her. “I didn’t come to you because I respect my father and grandmother’s wishes. The sanctuary of the harem is absolute. No man may enter. I have lived in the palace all my life, and I have not once stepped foot behind that golden door.”

He placed his hands on his hips and glared. “I thought you were different. I thought you could be logical about all of this, but I see that’s impossible.”

Dora barely heard his words. Too many lies woven through too little truth. She pressed her hands to her face and tried to stop the flow of tears. She had to go. She had to get back to…to…to where? To what? She had no life anymore. Everything she’d known was gone.

“I just want to know,” she whispered.

Khalil sighed. “All right. I’ll tell you the truth.” He bent down and cupped her chin, forcing her to look at him. “All of it. Then we’ll have it out in the open and be able to put it behind us. We’ll start our marriage with a clean slate and go on from there.”

He released her face and began to pace in the tent. His long strides ate up the distance quickly, and he was forced to turn after a mere five steps.

Dora brushed away her tears and ignored the steady dampness that replaced them. She told herself this was a good thing—that once she knew how bad it was, they could talk about fixing the problems. But the coldness only increased, and her heart braced itself for even more pain.

“Amber and I had been engaged from the time we were children. It was the wish of both our fathers.” He paused as if searching for the right words. “We did fight in New York, but only because I told her I didn’t want to marry her.”

She raised her head. “What?”

“I didn’t want to marry her. Amber is not…” He hesitated. “She would not be a good wife or mother. I didn’t know how to break the engagement in such a way as to avoid scandal. Then I heard you on the phone with Gerald, and I thought you might be a good solution to my dilemma. You are intelligent and even-tempered. I thought you could learn the duties and be a good mother. You were also a virgin.” He paused. “I needed a wife, and you were a likely candidate.”

She’d heard too much, she thought, wishing she could transport herself to another place, or even another time. How could she continue to breathe through the gaping hole in her chest? How could her heart continue to beat, her blood flow? Why hadn’t the pain killed her yet?

And then she knew the awful truth—that no matter how much it hurt, she would never die from the agony. She was destined to survive, even though she didn’t want to. She was going to keep on living and suffering and going through the motions because there was no mercy, no escape, no hope.

“So it was all lies,” she said dully. “All of it. When you told me that you wanted me, that you’d wanted me from the beginning.” It was hard for her to talk, nearly impossible for her to go on, but she forced herself to continue. She had to speak the truth. Once she faced it, she could begin the incredibly slow process of putting the pieces back together again…if that were even possible.

“You lied about the passion, you lied when you told me it would be impossible to leave me behind in New York. You made me feel special and important, and it was all a lie.”

Life had become a cruel joke—nearly as cruel as her new husband.

Khalil stopped in front of her. “The past is finished, and there’s no reason to dwell on it. Yes, I stretched the truth to make you feel better. Until the night I heard you on the phone with Gerald, I never thought of you as anything but efficient. I didn’t have any particular regard for you at the time, but you’re my wife, now. I believe we have a chance to make this union successful.”

“Successful? Are you insane?” she asked, pushing herself to her feet.

“Not at all. I made vows to you, and I fully intend to honor them.”

“But nothing is real,” she protested. “You lied about everything.”

“You’re making too much of this.”

“And you’re making too little. You toyed with me. You made me believe in you.”

His mouth twisted. “You wanted to believe me. You were desperate to believe that a prince from a fairy tale had arrived to take you away from your sad, little life. You lied to yourself as much as I lied to you.”

She glared at him. “But I never lied to you. You can’t excuse your own behavior by pointing the finger at me.”

“What about when you told me you loved me? You don’t even know me.”

“I never told you I loved you.”

He met her gaze, then shifted uncomfortably. Silence grew, then pressed down upon them. She hadn’t said she loved him. She was too afraid of the words to ever speak them casually. He was right that she’d wanted to believe in the possibilities, but was that so great a sin?

“What do you want from me?” he asked. “Fine, I lied. I convinced you to marry me, using false pretenses. We’re married now. So we’ll make the best of it. We’ll start over.” He reached for her. “Dora, some of what I told you was true. I think you will make a fine wife. You will be a good mother my sons, and you have the perfect body to allow my sons to grow healthy inside of you.”

She sucked in her breath. It wasn’t enough that he ripped out her heart—now he wanted to talk about her hips, too? “No. I don’t want to be married to you. I want to go home.”

“Where is home? With Gerald?”

She flinched, but didn’t back down. “Anywhere but here. I won’t stay.”

“You don’t have a choice.” He moved closer and reached out to touch her.

Despite her desire to stand up for herself, she backed away quickly, knowing that if he stroked any part of her body she would be lost.

“Don’t,” she told him, folding her arms over her chest. She needed time to think.

Except he wasn’t going to give her time. Even as she struggled to collect her thoughts, he advanced.

She took another step back, then another. The pain was still there. She didn’t know what to believe. He hadn’t wanted her. He hadn’t longed for her. He’d picked her because she was a convenient virgin. That was hardly the basis of a successful marriage.

But that wasn’t what hurt the most. What ripped her open and left her bleeding was that she’d done it to herself. She’d been a fool…again. First with Gerald and now with Khalil. With Gerald, she’d been so lonely that she’d allowed herself to believe that he had qualities that didn’t exist in him at all. The small conciliation was that with Khalil, he’d fed her deception with pretty words.

“Dora.”

His warm hand settled on her shoulder. She gave a sharp cry and ran toward the entrance. Once outside, she realized she was in the middle of the desert with no idea which direction was home. Probably because she wasn’t sure where home was. El Bahar? Of course not. Los Angeles? Not anymore. Where did she want to go?

Khalil grabbed her arm and pulled her back inside. “Do not run away from me again,” he growled.

“Or what? You’ll have me locked up or maybe beaten. You seem a very practiced bully.”

Dark eyes flashed with fire. “I have never bullied you.”

She hated that he spoke the truth. “You used me.”

“You let yourself be used. You welcomed me into your bed.”

Color flooded her face. She swallowed her shame. “Don’t make the mistake of thinking that’s ever going to happen again. I want a divorce. I want to leave you and this country.”

He leaned close until his face nearly touched hers. “Never.”

“I won’t let you destroy me.”

He laughed cruelly. “Destroy what?” he asked mockingly. “You were wandering around at an airport when I found you. You had nothing. Your fiancé had left you, you had no job, no money. I saved you. I married you and brought you to my country where you have a chance at a life beyond anything you have ever imagined. Here you will have wealth and power and a title. You are an honored member of the house of Khan. Do not forget that. You will be my wife, and you will bear me many sons.”

“I would rather be married to a dirt farmer than you, prince or not, and I will never have your children because I will never let you touch me. I want a divorce.”

“Never. You are mine.”

“I am not a possession.”

“You are my wife and my woman. Do not make the mistake of challenging me because I will always win.”

“Not this time—not with me.”

“Wife of mine, you are wrong. ”

She sensed his intention before he moved, but she was too slow. Even as she tried to step away, he grabbed her arm and pulled her up against him.

Anger, pain, sadness, loneliness, betrayal all blended inside of her, draining her strength and her will to fight.

“I want you,” he said, his mouth inches from hers. “I will have you.”

“You’re going to have to force me, because I’m not going to do this willingly.”

His dark eyes gleamed. “Didn’t I just warn you about challenging me?”

Then he kissed her. Not the soft, tempting kiss he’d used the first time they’d made love, but a powerful, claiming kiss that forced a response, even as it promised the sweetest of rewards for giving in.

“No!” She pressed against his shoulders, trying to push him away.

He laughed, his lips still against hers. “Fight me, my desert cat. Fight me, then claim me as your rightful mate.”

“Never!”

But even as she breathed the promise, she felt the first tendrils of desire coiling through her. Heat hot enough to melt resolve, even hot enough to warm the very ice from her bones, crept through her like dawn would creep across the thick, plush carpets. It moved slowly, filling her from the inside out, sucking away her will.

His tongue swept across her lower lip, back and forth, back and forth, whispering for admittance. She wanted to resist. She told herself to be strong—that she hated him, that he was horrible, that he’d used her and hurt her and…and…

He untied the tiny bows that held her robe together, then slipped his hand through the gap in the heavy silk. Even as she swore to herself that she would stand firm against him, his fingers brushed against the tight bud of her nipple. At the same moment his tongue slipped between her suddenly parted lips.

She pushed against him one last time, then sobbed out her defeat. Hating him, hating herself more, she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him close.

Dora shut her eyes, not wanting to see the look of triumph on his face, but instead of gloating, Khalil broke the kiss long enough to gently whisper, “You are my wife, little desert cat. I will always keep you safe.”

Perhaps he thought he could, for he would never see that the greatest threat to her safety was no one else but him.