Читать книгу Desert Rogues Part 1 - Сьюзен Мэллери, Susan Mallery - Страница 20

“You will yield to me, wife, or I will know the reason why,” Khalil bellowed as he stood in the center of Dora’s bedroom.

His shirttail hung free of his slacks, and his feet were bare. Dora wore little more than her bra, panties and blouse. They’d been in the middle of kissing, when he’d asked her to finish taking off his clothes. But instead of being swept away by passion, she’d found herself slightly distracted and had refused without thinking.

“You know the reason why,” Dora told him calmly.

Better to fight about this, she thought, than for him to know the reason that she hadn’t been completely involved in their lovemaking. She’d fought against the truth for a long time, and Lord willing, she was going to continue to fight against it. Life was complicated enough without her worrying about any significant changes in the status of her family. She and Khalil had to learn to be a married couple before they could be parents. At least that’s what she told herself with more conviction than she felt.

“I do not know anything of the sort,” he insisted. “It has been nearly four months. Why won’t you admit that you love me?”

His question nearly made her gasp aloud, but she managed to control her reaction. “You want me to love you so that I will do as you wish, but there is more to a marriage than subservience from the woman. I want a partnership. I want us to share and be honest. Those are things you can’t seem to understand.”

“Of course I understand. I don’t want you to be subservient. I want you to admit your feelings.”

That she loved him? She couldn’t continue to live with Khalil, work with him, ride with him and share the most intimate act possible between a man and a woman without loving him, but she would be damned if she would admit it before he did.

She wished it were just a matter of pride. That would be easy for her to overcome. But it wasn’t that simple. The truth was, despite loving Khalil, she didn’t fully trust him. She needed to know that he cared for her as much as she cared for him. She needed to know that any unborn children would be welcomed and raised by adoring parents as part of a strong family unit. She desperately needed to know that he would never grow tired of her and move on. She wanted to hold the key to his heart as much as he held the key to hers.

“Why don’t you admit your feelings?” she asked. “You’re being stubborn as well. Tell me you love me and that you’re sorry and all will be well.”

He dismissed her with a wave of his hand. “How much longer do you plan to play this game?”

“Forever, if necessary.” She looked at him, then planted her hands on her hips. “You know my terms, Khalil. You resist them, you deny them and you want them changed, but nothing is different today than it was when I first arrived. You lied to me. You took advantage of the misfortune in my life and told me that you cared for me. You implied that you loved me, then you railroaded me into marriage and brought me here without giving me time to consider other options.”

His dark eyes blazed with fire. “I married you. You seem to forget that fact, but it remains the central issue of this discussion. I have honored you by taking you as my bride.”

She glared at him. “Oh, and you weren’t the least honored by my agreeing to marry you?”

“Of course not,” he said. “Look at the life that you had before we met. So small and pitiful. You were nothing, and I gave you the world. I am Prince Khalil Khan—”

She took a single step toward him. “Don’t start that. I’m warning you, I’ll throw you out of my room right now and never let you back.”

She had to grit her teeth to keep from crying out. The wound from his thoughtless words went deep, all the way down to her heart. Nothing? Is that what she’d been to him? Had he really thought so little of her when they were first married? She closed her eyes and forced herself to breathe slowly. She knew the answer to the question. It was as obvious as his quick and easy response. Yes, he had thought nothing of her or of their marriage. He’d been in a difficult situation, for reasons that had never made sense to her. She’d been slightly appropriate and very available. End of story.

Something warm stroked her cheek. She opened her eyes and saw that her husband had moved closer. He cupped her jaw. “I spoke hastily,” he told her, smiling faintly and with what she wanted to believe was affection. “At the time I didn’t know you enough to be honored by the thought of you as my wife, but I have learned. You are a great woman, and I am fortunate to have you in my life.”

She wanted to give in to him. She wanted to take off the rest of her clothes and have him do the same, then stretch out with him on the big bed and make love until morning. She wanted to hear words of love and have him hold her close, then find the courage to tell him what she thought might have happened…that their lovemaking could have produced a child who was, at this very moment, growing inside of her.

But she did none of those things. Because Khalil was a stubborn man. Nearly as stubborn as herself, she thought, trying to find a crumb of humor in the situation.

“Tell me you were wrong,” she murmured, wrapping her arms around him. “Tell me you’re sorry. Tell me that you care.”

He pushed her away. “You cry after the moon. You still want your dreams. I am Khalil Khan, prince of El Bahar, and I will not be dictated to by a woman. Accept what we have between us, and be grateful.”

She straightened her spine. She was sick of hearing him announce his name and title as if those words had the power to change the tides.

“That may be true, Prince Khalil, but you are forgetting one very important fact.”

He raised his eyebrows expectantly. “What is that?”

“I am Dora Khan, princess of El Bahar, and I do not sleep with liars.”

With that, she walked to the front door of her suite and held it open. Khalil moved slowly toward her.

“Is this what we’ve come to?” he asked. “A battle of wills.”

“It’s always been a battle of wills. The only difference is this is the first time you haven’t won.”

He glared at her. “You will not win this one. Don’t push me too far, wife, or you will be sorry.”

She thought of all her hopes and dreams. How she’d come so far in some areas and not made any progress in others. “I already am, Khalil. You think I turn away from you out of stubbornness or a desire to punish, but the truth is the pain in my heart drives me.”

Then, because she couldn’t think of anything else to say, she gently closed the door, shutting out her husband and leaving herself very much alone.

Khalil stood in the hallway. He wanted to rage against circumstances or fate or whatever it was that had brought him to this place. He did not deserve to be shut out from the bed of his wife. Didn’t she understand that?

He glared at the shut door and thought about ordering her to let him back in. The problem was Dora might choose to ignore him. She could be stubborn that way. Actually she could be stubborn in many ways. She was infuriating. She was also bright and good at her new job. She saw the possibilities in El Bahar that no one had seen before.

If only she would give in on this one simple matter. How dare she expect him to apologize for what he’d done? It wasn’t as if she’d had such a great life and he’d taken her from it. She’d been alone, jobless, abandoned by her fiancé. She’d been…

The thought ended, and a new one began. It was most disquieting, so he started walking to distract himself. He hurried down the familiar corridors until he came to his own rooms. But instead of entering, he stood there thinking.

Dora had been a person, he thought at last. Someone with rights and feelings, and there was the smallest possibility he’d been wrong to take advantage of her. Even if she was just a woman.

But to admit that he loved her? Preposterous. He opened the door to his suite and stepped inside. The darkness seemed to surround him. He still ached for her. They’d begun to build the fire but had not had time to quench the hunger with flames. His body was ready to take her to that place of perfect paradise. His arms needed to hold her close, his lips longed to utter her name.

She wanted words of love and foolish apologies. He offered a kingdom—money and power. They battled to be the victor. His grandmother had told him to woo her; his pride said that Dora must surrender first. One of them would have to bend, he thought sadly. If they didn’t, they were destined to fail.

The party was going strong when Dora arrived. She stood in a side entrance to the ballroom and admired the beautiful decorations and the glittering crowd. King Givon hosted a “small, intimate” birthday celebration for his good friend and prime minister, Aleser. However, small and intimate in the royal world was different from small and intimate in Dora’s experience. There were more than a hundred people in the room.

Dora drew in a deep breath and tried to relax. She felt fine, and she looked good. At least that’s what she’d told herself as she’d dressed an hour before.

Since arriving in El Bahar, she’d started letting her hair grow. Now she wore it swept up in an elegant French twist. A few weeks before she and Khalil had gone to Paris for business meetings. Fatima had given Dora the name of an exclusive salon, which had pampered her with a manicure and facial. Afterward, a gifted artist had taught her the best way to apply makeup. All the horseback riding and the long distances between rooms in the palace had helped Dora drop ten pounds since arriving. While she would never be model perfect, she was an attractive, vital woman. Unfortunately she cowered in the shadowed doorway like a frightened schoolchild. If only she’d been able to walk in with Khalil.

Dora sighed. While her husband had been greeting guests, she’d been throwing up in her bathroom. So much for morning sickness occurring in the morning. Her attacks were infrequent, but they generally came in waves, striking every few hours, then disappearing for a day or two. Still not sure how to tell Khalil the truth about her pregnancy, she’d sent him away, telling him that she’d found a stain on her dress and had to change. The price of her lie was that she would be forced to enter the party on her own.

She took a step into the well-dressed crowd and moved toward the bar. There she ordered sparkling water poured into a wineglass, then plastered a smile on her face and prepared to plunge into the insanity.

“Your Highness,” a familiar voice said from behind her.

Dora turned and saw Martin Wingbird hurrying toward her. A tall, stately man walked briskly behind him. She paused.

“Good evening, Martin.”

“Your Highness.” Martin bowed, then glanced at his companion. “Princess Dora Khan, may I please present Lord Andrew Hall. He’s heard about your plans to increase opportunities for young women to attend college and would like to speak to you about that.”

Lord Hall took her offered hand and bowed low over her fingers. “Your Highness, I hesitated to disrupt a party to discuss business, but I’m only in El Bahar for a short visit.” He straightened. “My late wife was a great advocate of female education, as she called it.” He smiled, but his deep blue eyes remained sad. “In honor of her, I have dedicated my life to that cause. After hearing about your campaign and your success in convincing the king of the need to educate women, I would like to talk about offering scholarships to worthy female students so that they could attend British universities.”

Dora studied the thin man. His white hair was thick and wavy, his skin permanently tanned. “How on earth did you hear about my program?”

“News travels quickly, Your Highness. You are a highly visible and respected member of the royal family. People watch and talk.”

Dora laughed. “I suppose I have to believe you, but I’m still having trouble adjusting to all this.” She waved to take in both the party and the palace. “Lord Hall, I would be most delighted to discuss the scholarships with you. Will you still be in El Bahar tomorrow?”

“Business keeps me here for three days.”

“Good.” She looked at Martin. “Make an appointment for Lord Hall.” She returned her attention to the older man. “I look forward to our discussion.”

“As do I.” He nodded and moved away.

Dora sipped at her sparkling water. Life was certainly different these days. Just six months ago, she couldn’t have imagined a world such as this.

She circled the room, greeting people she knew, introducing herself to others. Small talk wasn’t her favorite, but practice made her better. She kept looking for Khalil, wondering where he was and what he was doing. Finally she caught a glimpse of something familiar, and she stopped in her tracks.

Dora stood near a small alcove, one of many that lined the ballroom. Behind her music played and people laughed and talked, but in front of her was relative silence. She waited, then caught the movement again. It was no more than a swirl of fabric from a woman’s dress and the gesture of one slender arm. Yet she sensed something familiar…something dangerous.

Quietly Dora moved forward until she could see the two people standing in shadow. She recognized the man immediately—despite looking somewhat like his brothers, she would never mistake Khalil for anyone else. It took her a minute to place the woman. Not because she didn’t remember her, but because of the way the light and shadows played on her face.

Amber. The stunningly beautiful woman who had been engaged to Khalil. The woman who was a temptress in clinging red silk that outlined a perfect body. Thick, black hair piled high on her head, leaving her neck looking slender and delicate.

Dora stood just outside of their sight and fought against the waves of pain and hurt that crashed through her. Despite the pretty dress, the jewelry, the makeup, she was a pathetic parody of that beautiful young woman. Amber wore red silk, Dora blue. But the styles were similar enough to cause comment—ribbed column styles that accentuated bosom, exposed shoulders. Amber’s dress clung all the way to her knees, emphasizing her amazing curves, while Dora’s gown had been softened with folds of fabric so that her still-heavy hips would not be highlighted.

Amber was all things more, Dora thought miserably, wanting to back up but frozen in place. Her own hair had been put up, but she didn’t have the thick length to add height and volume. Her own earrings were lovely diamonds, but they paled in comparison to the jewels glittering on Amber’s ears and around her neck. She felt like an ugly parody of the younger woman’s beauty.

All her confidence, all her happiness, evaporated like a bowl of water left out in the desert sun. Khalil had been right, she was nothing.

Defeat weighed heavily on her. She forced herself to turn so that she could leave and escape to her room to lick her wounds. At that moment, the music ended and relative quiet settled over the ballroom. While others were too far away to hear what was said in the private alcove, Dora was not.

“I want you, Khalil,” Amber purred in her sultry tones. “I am your destiny, not that cow of a wife. What were you thinking, taking her when you could have had me? I know you don’t love her. I’m willing to admit I was wrong. I want to be with you. I want to have your sons.”

It was too much, Dora thought as tears blinded her. She hurried away before she made a sound and betrayed her presence to the lovers.

Up ahead she spotted a side door and made for it. Pain ripped through her. Pain and disappointment—for all that should have been but never would be. She’d lost before she’d begun. How on earth was she supposed to compete with a woman like Amber? No wonder her husband wouldn’t admit to caring about her—he didn’t. He loved another and she, Dora, was only in the way. She’d been fooling herself to think Khalil would ever love her.

A sob ripped through her. She opened the door and stepped into the night. But instead of soothing her, the faintly sweet scented air turned her stomach. She rushed to the edge of the balcony and threw up into a potted plant. She’d thought she’d hit rock bottom before when Gerald had rejected her, but this was far worse.

“It can’t be all that bad,” a soft voice murmured as a delicate handkerchief was pressed into her hand.

Dora took it gratefully, then wiped her mouth. She looked up and saw Fatima standing next to her.

“If you would stop hiding from the truth, child, so much would be better.”

Dora tried to force a smile, but she couldn’t. “It’s not what you think.”

Fatima, beautiful as always in her favorite Chanel, leaned close and patted Dora’s hand. “I know more than you suspect. I see many things that others do not, and what I don’t see, my spies tell me.”

Dora opened her mouth, then closed it. Fatima had spies? Then she did smile. Why not? The world was completely mad, and she was trapped in El Bahar.

“I can’t leave him,” she said, not completely aware she was speaking aloud. “Not just because I love him. If it was only that, I could probably tear myself away.”

“I doubt you could, but we can pretend, for the sake of discussion,” Fatima said kindly. She leaned against the railing and stared up at the sky. “Look at the lovely stars. So many and so bright.” She sighed. “Of course now that you’re pregnant, you’re trapped. You know that El Baharian law forbids a woman to leave her husband while she’s pregnant.”

Dora knew all too well. “Unless the husband had been abusing her or their other children. Yes, I’ve become most familiar with El Baharian law in the past few months.”

Dora touched her stomach. Life grew within. Soon that life would be visible to all. Then what?

“How many people know I’m pregnant?” she asked.

Fatima laughed. “We’re dealing with men, my dear. They’ll know when you tell them, not before.”

That was something. She had time. But for what? “Nothing is going to change.”

The night air surrounded them in soft darkness. The sounds of the party were faint beyond the glass doors. Out here, on a small balcony off to the side, they were alone. Dora wished they could stay here forever, that she might never have to go back and face her husband.

“What do you want to be different?” Fatima asked.

“Everything,” Dora sighed. “Loving Khalil is difficult enough, but having his child will tie me to him forever.” El Baharian law would allow her to leave once the child was born, but to what end? The royal family would not allow her to take her baby with her, and she doubted if Khalil would agree to joint custody. Besides, she didn’t want to leave. What she wanted was her husband to love her.

“Not everything,” Fatima corrected. “It is a matter of priorities. If you don’t mind my saying so, you’ve gone about things all wrong.”

Dora glanced at her. “In what way?”

“You must earn what you most desire.” Fatima turned to face her. “You are pregnant with Khalil’s firstborn. That gives you power no other woman possesses, but you must be wise when you use that power. Far better for you to win your husband on your own.”

Tears filled her eyes. “So it’s obvious to everyone that Khalil doesn’t love me.”

Fatima touched her bare arm. “What is obvious is that you two began your marriage for reasons other than love. Such is the way of many royal matches. Only the very lucky, or the determined, find love later. Is that what you want? Khalil’s love?”

Dora nodded, then swiped at the tears on her face. “I desperately need that. I can’t live half a life anymore. I’ve done it that way for too long.” She sniffed. “But it’s too late. He’s in love with Amber, and there’s no way I can compete with her. She’s younger, she’s more beautiful.”

Fatima dismissed the information with a wave of her hand. “She’s nothing. You’re the princess…you’re already his wife. Amber is not all you believe her to be. She is like a magician’s smoke. Very impressive during the performance, but nothing remains afterward.”

The older woman stared intently. Dark eyes seemed to see into Dora’s soul. “Khalil went to a lot of trouble to marry you. He turned his back on his betrothed and the traditions of his family. He risked his father’s anger. Have you ever wondered why?”

Dora tried to remember what Khalil had said about that. “He didn’t think Amber would be a good mother.” She rubbed her temples, which had begun to ache. “Except she’s so lovely.”

“What is beauty? True loveliness comes from a good heart, not long legs or a pretty face.” She straightened her shoulders. “When I married my husband, the harem wasn’t as it is today. All those years ago, it was filled with beautiful women from all over the world. I was his wife, but he wasn’t interested in me. Who wants plain bread when there are trays of sweets to explore?”

Dora didn’t know what to say. Women in the harem? At least she didn’t have to compete with that. “What did you do?”

“I decided that possession of his name was not enough. I had to earn his heart. You must do the same.”

Oh, sure, something simple, she thought glumly. “How am I supposed to do that?”

Fatima smiled. “Give him what he most desires and in a way no other woman can. Then you will have all that you most long for in your life.”