Читать книгу Desert Rogues Part 1 - Сьюзен Мэллери, Susan Mallery - Страница 21

“Give him what he most desires…you will have all that you most long for in your life,” Dora muttered when Fatima had left her alone on the balcony. “Oh, sure. Words to live by. But what do they mean?”

Although she spoke the question aloud, no answer appeared to her. The silence itself seemed to mock her, and she had to fight against the pressure of more tears. She didn’t want to cry anymore, she thought. She didn’t want to be unhappy. She had to find a way to make her marriage work, or she had to leave. She was tired of her games with Khalil.

But where did she begin? How did she change herself, or get her most stubborn husband to see the truth? Was Fatima correct and could she, Dora, give Khalil his heart’s desire? Did she know his heart well enough to understand what he might want?

Too many questions and no answers. What she needed was to be in her husband’s company. Only his smile, his light touch on her arm, would restore her good humor.

But before she could leave the balcony, a woman appeared out of the shadows. “Ah, Princess Dora, how lovely to see you again.”

Dora froze. The ever-stunning Amber stood in front of her. The young woman had destroyed all of Dora’s illusions, not to mention her wedding day. She didn’t want to hear any more of her hurtful words. What she really wanted was to bolt for cover, but she would be damned if she would let this El Baharian heartbreaker see that she had her running scared.

“Amber. Very nice to see you again.” She gave a regal bow. “Are you enjoying the party?”

“Of course. My father is happy to have his family around him to celebrate this day.” Amber pouted slightly. “He’s been difficult about me being gone so much, but it’s impossible for me to stay long in El Bahar. So painful.”

Dora supposed she should be more sympathetic, but she wasn’t in the mood. Nor did she trust Amber. “I would guess that being around your former fiancé and his new wife would be difficult. How nice that you can afford to travel. It distracts as well as broadens the mind.”

Amber’s delicate eyebrows drew together. “Don’t sound so confident, Your Highness. Things are not as they appear.”

“Aren’t they?” Dora made a great show of glancing at her wedding ring. “And here I thought I was the one he’d married.”

“You might have his name and his ring, but you don’t have his heart. That belongs to me.”

Dora didn’t have a quick response for that one. While she wasn’t sure that Amber knew anything about anyone’s heart, Dora knew that she didn’t have possession of Khalil’s heart, either.

Amber took a step closer. “We’re still lovers. He still visits me when he can.”

Dora wanted to deny the words. Her husband came to her bed more often than not. He was vigorous and passionate, and she didn’t believe for a single moment that he was with another woman. Khalil had many flaws, but deception wasn’t one of them.

Or was it, a little voice in her head whispered. What about the lies he told at the beginning of their relationship? What about his stubborn refusal to admit that he was wrong and that he’d hurt her?

“I don’t know when he’d have the time,” Dora said coolly, refusing to let the other woman know that she was trembling from both fear and pain.

“Of course you wouldn’t know,” Amber scoffed. “You sleep alone in your chamber on the far side of the palace. You have no way of knowing how often I’ve crept into his bed or he into mine.” She took another step closer and clutched Dora’s arm. “He’s already had me this night. You can plan on spending your evening alone.”

Dora jerked free. She refused to believe these stories, she told herself, even as the hurt ripped through her. “You’re lying. I will tell Khalil of your lies, and you will be banished from the palace.”

Amber laughed. “My father is prime minister of El Bahar and the king’s closest friend. My family has been close to the royal family for generations. Don’t think that a few words and a ring are going to come between me and the man I love. Go to him, tell him what I said, if you dare. Find out how little you matter. You are nothing.”

“I am his wife.”

“For now.”

Dora squared her shoulders. “You are a spoiled child, Amber. In time you will learn that being a man’s wife gives a woman more power than it would appear. You may be younger and beautiful, but I will win this battle.”

Amber shrugged. “We’ll see. And if he doesn’t join you in your bed this night, we’ll both know that I’m telling the truth.”

Dora thought about calling the other woman a bitch, but decided it was too childish. Instead she returned to the glittering ballroom with the intent of finding her husband.

But once inside, the agony of her encounter with the younger woman stole her breath and made her legs tremble. She was going to be sick, she thought as she frantically tried to retrace her steps. Only this time it wouldn’t be because of the baby. Oh, dear God, what if Amber was telling the truth?

Dora could feel herself losing control. Tears threatened and with them, agonized sobs. She didn’t want to lose Khalil—not when they’d come so far. She loved him. Perhaps she’d loved him from the very beginning, she wasn’t sure. She only knew that without him, her world would be smaller and meaner than it had ever been in the past.

A shadow fell over her. She looked up and saw her husband standing in front of her. “You look ill,” Khalil said. “Do you not feel well?”

She opened her mouth to explain, then closed it. What was there to say? Did she dare repeat Amber’s lies? Except there was a small chance that they weren’t lies. And if that woman spoke the truth then she, Dora, would be lost forever.

“I think I’m just tired,” Dora said weakly. “I need to go to my room.”

Khalil wrapped a sheltering arm around her and led her away. When they’d entered her chamber, he turned on the lights, then gently helped her undress. Finally he eased her into bed.

“I’ll make your excuses to the king,” he said, his voice kind, his expression concerned. “Sleep and feel better in the morning. I won’t disturb you this evening.”

She told herself he was just being considerate; she told herself it had everything to do with his perception of her being sick and nothing to do with Amber…but she wasn’t sure.

“I don’t feel that ill,” she murmured. “Perhaps after the party…”

He shook his head. “You often accuse me of being insensitive, so I won’t give you ammunition. If you’re not well, I refuse to insist.” He gave her a sad smile. “It is not in you to be won over this night, sweet Dora.”

He pressed a kiss to her forehead, then left her alone.

She stared after him, willing him to return to her. This wasn’t happening, she told herself, listening to the silence and wondering if that emptiness was going to fill her world for the rest of her life. Amber couldn’t be correct, could she?

Dora sat up and pulled her knees to her chest. Had she come so far only to lose it all in the end, or had the prize never been hers?

She’d been a fool. Khalil had once accused her of being a nobody, and he was correct. She was just a glorified secretary who had happened to snag the attention of a wealthy prince. Not because she was beautiful, or witty, or smart, but because she was available. A virgin with childbearing hips. Talk about a claim to fame.

The first tears fell slowly, then faster and faster. Great sobs robbed her of breath. She clutched her knees, pulling them close to her chest as if she could hold in the last drops of happiness that had been hers. But there was no more happiness…just pain and suffering. If only things had been different.

She cried for what felt like hours, then she brushed her face and told herself to figure out a way to let it all go. The relationship was over, she thought as her heart broke. All her dreams, her plans for the future. Khalil didn’t love her, didn’t even want her. She didn’t know if he’d really been making love with Amber or not, but Dora knew that the young woman in question was determined to win Khalil. Dora had no way to stop her. And if not this stunning creature, then surely another would claim Khalil. He was a prize, the kind of man any woman would desire.

Give him what he most desires.

Fatima’s words returned to her, echoing inside her head. She listened, then turned them over, but they didn’t make any more sense now than they had before. What could she possibly give Khalil? He was a handsome, rich prince, and she was a nobody.

Frustrated, Dora threw back the covers and pushed to her feet. She stormed across the room, heading for the balcony. The great emptiness inside of her grew until it threatened to swallow her. She was trapped in a sham of a marriage. She had no way out, no hope, no—

A slip of movement caught her attention, and she spun toward the shadow. There was little light in the bedroom, but Khalil had left on a floor lamp in the parlor. As she stared into the darkness, Dora realized that what had caught her eye was merely her own reflection in the mirror at her dresser. Her pale gown had shimmered slightly.

She paused to stare at herself, then reached up to brush her cheek. How different she looked, she thought with some surprise. Her time in El Bahar had changed her appearance, or maybe it was just her new life that affected her. Gone were the shyly lowered eyes, the deferential tilt of her head. Instead she stood tall, with an air of confidence about her. She’d slimmed down, and while she would never be fashionably thin, her top and bottom were now the same size. Her longer hair flattered her face, softening her features and making her look more approachable.

Sometime in the past few months, the small mouse had been transformed into a more self-sufficient creature. She didn’t see herself as the desert wildcat Khalil liked to call her, but she’d made definite improvements.

She walked over to her desk, to the stacks of folders there. Sometimes she worked in the evenings. There was so much to do, and it all took time. Meetings filled her schedule, and when she wasn’t busy with that, there were speeches to write, phone calls to make, not to mention her time with Khalil. She’d come a long way from the lonely virgin who ached to belong to someone.

Dora glanced around the spacious room, then clicked on the desk lamp so she could see more clearly. The luxurious furnishings no longer intimidated her. In fact, very little intimidated her. Even Amber’s harsh assessments of her life and her relationship with Khalil had wounded, but not destroyed. She was no longer Dora Nelson, doormat, she was Dora Khan, princess of El Bahar.

In a blinding flash of insight she could neither explain nor describe, she understood what Fatima had been talking about. She understood the one thing she could give to Khalil that he most desired. Her love.

She smiled as she shook her head. How simple. Why didn’t she see it before? Khalil wasn’t interested in an affair with Amber, and he didn’t want a showpiece for a wife. He needed and wanted an equal partner—someone who would match him in intelligence and drive, not to mention vision for El Bahar. She was all those things, not Amber. And even if the other woman was younger and prettier, Dora refused to believe their lovemaking could be any more satisfying than what she and Khalil shared. When he took her in his arms, she felt the magic as their intimacy bound them together in a biological and spiritual union that could not be destroyed.

Except…except he’d never once admitted he was wrong. He’d never apologized for what he did back when he seduced her and married her, and he’d never acknowledged his feelings. He’d never told her he loved her.

She sank onto the chair in front of the desk and rested her hand on the pile of papers there. It was a question of stubbornness and wills, she thought. Who would give in first? And if no one gave in, who would win?

“If I give in on this, I…”

Dora pressed her lips together. If she gave in, then what? Would Khalil suddenly walk all over her? Would she cease to be a deputy minister? Or would she achieve her heart’s desire?

“But I want him to be the one to bend,” she said aloud. “I want him…” She pressed her lips together. “I want him to love me back.”

She thought of how he’d persevered, coming to her room night after night and seducing her until she consented to make love with him. She thought of how she frustrated him by refusing to live in his quarters, yet he never displayed his irritation when they worked together. She thought of his pride when she’d been made deputy minister and how he was content to watch her take on the king when her ideas differed from Givon’s. On more than one occasion, he’d allowed her to speak for them both.

She thought of his attempts to woo her and how they spent evenings alone, just the two of them, reading or talking. She thought of the places he wanted to show her. She thought of how he teased her that he would only allow her to give him sons, yet how he liked to talk about having at least one daughter, or even two.

These were not the actions of a man who didn’t care, or even those of a man who had settled. Perhaps she had not been his chosen bride, but she was now his only wife. He had yielded in many ways. Was she going to risk it all to have him answer her demands?

She curled her fingers into her palm and as she did so, she felt something thick and hard under the papers. At first she wasn’t sure what it was, but as she cleared away the sheets, she smiled as she saw the ceremonial dagger that a visiting dignitary had given her the previous week. Not knowing what else to do with it, she’d been using it to open letters.

Now she stared at the gleaming blade and the gold handle. She touched the cool metal. How on earth was she going to talk to Khalil about their relationship? They needed to change the status quo, but she hated to give in nearly as much as he did.

As she traced the blunt side of the blade, an idea formed. It was outrageous and ridiculous, and it just might work. A quick glance at the clock told her that the party should be over by now. Dora grinned as she rose to her feet. There was no time like the present. And if she was wrong about Khalil and he was currently with Amber, then she was better off knowing before she made a complete fool out of herself.

Less than a half hour later, she moved quietly through the halls of the palace. She’d dressed in one of her most elegant gowns, a low-cut designer original that exposed more cleavage than she usually liked—but tonight she needed to be armed in more ways than one. She held the dagger in her right hand, pressing it flat against her body. She doubted anyone would notice the weapon.

Fortunately she made her way to Khalil’s chamber without being seen. Once there, she let herself inside and quietly locked the door behind her. Then she walked toward him.

Her husband was alone. She took in that information with a brief glance around the room. He sat at his desk, which faced the ocean. So far he hadn’t noticed her presence.

She studied him. The French doors were closed, but he hadn’t drawn the shutters, so the lamps in the room made the windows reflect like mirrors. She could clearly see the dark lock of hair that fell across his forehead. He’d discarded his tuxedo jacket and tie and tossed them across the sofa. His shirt was unbuttoned, and his sleeves were rolled to his elbows.

He was the picture of masculine casualness, and his male beauty took her breath away. How she wanted him, she thought as the longing swept through her. Not just in her bed, but in her life. She wanted to grow old with this man. As far as she could tell, there was only one way to find a compromise between what she wanted and what he was able to give. Dear Lord, please let her be right.

She took a step toward him, then another. Her heart pounded so hard, she thought she might faint. When she was six feet behind him, Khalil finally looked up and caught her reflection in the mirror.

“Dora, what are you doing here? Are you all right?”

She watched his face, noting the transformation from delight at her unexpected appearance, to concern. Then she moved up behind him and held the dagger to his throat.

He didn’t even have the courtesy to look surprised, she thought in disgust as Khalil simply set down his pen and met her gaze in the window.

“If you sought to gain my attention,” he said calmly, “you have done so.”

She pressed the blade against his skin. “If I ever find you’ve been unfaithful to me, I will cut you, Khalil, but it won’t be across the throat.”

“I see. Thank you for telling me in advance. However, I’m not concerned. I have no desire to be with any woman save my wildcat of a wife.”

She watched as a slight smile pulled at the corners of his mouth. “Don’t for a moment think I’m bluffing,” she informed him. “I will do it. You are my husband and the possessor of my heart. As such you owe me respect and honor.”

His smile disappeared as if it had never been. In one quick movement he grasped her wrist and pulled it away, then spun in his seat until he faced her. When he rose to his feet, he pulled the dagger free and tossed it to the ground where it skittered against the tile and slid into the corner.

“What did you say?” he asked, his gaze intense.

She stared at his face noting the tightening of the muscles around his mouth and the light of some new fire in his eyes.

“Tell me,” he insisted. “Tell me again that I am the possessor of your heart.”

This wasn’t exactly the turn she’d expected for their conversation, and his scrutiny made her a little nervous. “You heard me the first time.” She wiggled to free herself, but his hold on her wrists only tightened. “Let me go.”

“Never,” he said fiercely and swept her up in his arms. He carried her across the room and lowered her onto the bed, then settled next to her. “I will never let you go, wife of mine.” He stroked her face, then brushed his thumb across her lips. “For you are mine, aren’t you?”

“Yes,” she whispered, unable to deny the truth. “I love you with all my heart.” She glared at him. “But don’t think that’s going to change things between us, because you love me, too. I want a real marriage. I want us to live together like man and wife, and I want you to swear you’re never going to sleep with anyone else, especially Amber.”

At the mention of the younger woman, some of the light faded from Khalil’s eyes. He drew her close and wrapped his arms around her, urging her to rest her head on his shoulder.

“I should have known she would make trouble,” he murmured. “I should have told you the truth about her, but I was ashamed.”

Dora looked at him. “I don’t understand. You were engaged to her.”

“Yes, but it was an arranged match, and one I was frantic to avoid. I never wanted to have anything to do with her. She disgusts me. For several years Amber has been something of a hedonist. She finds sport in hopping from bed to bed. I didn’t want to tell the truth about her because of her father.”

Dora had learned enough of El Baharian law and custom to understand that. “Aleser is a good leader for the country,” she said. “If you told him about his daughter, he would be forced to resign.”

Khalil nodded. “When we were in New York, Amber came to see me. She reminded me that we were engaged and insisted we would be married. I felt trapped.”

So many things fell into place, Dora thought. Khalil’s need to find a solution to a difficult problem. Why the other woman had been so cruel.

“And there I was,” she said. “A tolerable answer.”

He wrapped his arms around her and rolled until she rested on top of him. “Far more than tolerable,” he said, brushing her mouth with his. “You are the light of my life.”

“You love me,” she said.

He sighed. “Yes, Dora. I love you.”

She smiled. “Oh, Khalil, we’ve both been so very stubborn. It makes me sad.”

“It should. The situation was your fault entirely. If only you’d been a cooperative, sensible woman we could have—”

She pushed away from him and tried to scramble off the bed. He held her fast.

“Where do you think you’re going?” he asked, hauling her up against him.

She pushed again, but couldn’t make any progress. The man was too strong. “The dagger is still in the room,” she said, glaring at him. “I think I’ll use it on you.”

He laughed. “Never. You love me too much.”

“I know. I hate that.”

“No, you don’t.”

She relaxed against him. “No, I don’t,” she agreed.

He stroked her hair, then kissed the top of her head. “Have you loved me long?” he asked.

His voice sounded casual, but Dora heard an undercurrent she couldn’t explain. She looked at him. Darkness filled his eyes, something that, had it been anyone but Khalil, she would have labeled as uncertainty.

“Yes,” she told him. “Almost from the beginning.”

“Then how could you have turned away from me all those times I came to your room. Why didn’t you want to make love?”

He asked the question not as a prince, but as a man. A man who has been brought to his knees before a woman. Her heart ached for him. “Every time I struggled against my desire for you. I wanted you desperately. I always want you.”

He kissed her deeply. “As I always want you. The reason I didn’t come to you tonight was because you seemed to feel ill.”

“I know.” She knew so much more now. Amber would never come between them again.

Khalil sat up and pulled off his shirt. He quickly slipped off his shoes, socks, slacks and briefs, then stretched out naked on the bed.

“You have much to answer for,” he said imperiously. “You have denied your husband his proper place in your bed, as well as your heart. The punishment for your actions will be severe.” He motioned to his arousal. “You may begin atoning for your sins by servicing me this evening.”

“Oh, may I?” Dora asked, not sure she could believe he’d actually said that. Tell a man you love him and he assumes he owns the world.

“I would not deny you your opportunity to please me.”

“How gracious,” she murmured and rose to her feet.

So Khalil thought he would get the best of her, did he? She hid a smile. Two could play at this game.

Dora slowly slipped off her dress, then her stockings. She unfastened her bra and let the straps slide down her arms before releasing the garment. When she’d pulled off her panties, she knelt over her husband and lowered herself until her erect nipples nearly brushed his mouth.

“Tell me what you want, Prince Khalil, and I will do your bidding.”

His eyes glazed over slightly as he reached up and pulled her closer. Then he licked her nipple and made them both moan. She shuddered. Already she was wet. She could feel the heat and the pressure between her legs, and he hadn’t even entered her. She was aroused and ready just by being close to him.

“I want you,” he said, gazing at her. “I love you. Promise you’ll come live with me here.”

“There’s nowhere else I’d rather be. Anything else?”

He thought for a moment. “Promise that you’ll always love me.”

Her feelings welled up inside of her, filling her with a sense of rightness she’d never known. “Forever, husband.”

“Which is nearly as long as I will love you.”

“Is that everything?” she asked. “Do you have more desires?”

“Several.” He grinned. “You may begin satisfying them by making love with me. Lower yourself onto me.”

“Yes, Your Highness.”

She did as he requested, sliding her waiting heat over him, taking him inside, deeper and deeper. He groaned.

“Dora,” he gasped as his eyes sank closed. “I’ve missed you.”

She didn’t bother pointing out that it had only been two nights since they’d last made love. Instead she tightened her muscles around him until he was tense and ready. He arched into her, holding her over him, moving her hips until she rode him up and down in a rhythm designed to take them both over the edge.

She found it difficult to concentrate, but she forced herself back from the edge long enough to speak his name.

“What, love?” he asked.

She held her hips still, then lowered them again, at the same time she brushed his lips with hers. “I’m pregnant.”

His eyes widened, and he opened his mouth to speak, but it was too late. His shock had allowed passion to take him unaware, thrusting him into paradise. He gave a strangled groan, a half laugh, then drew her close.

She knew then that she had won. Not just their teasing game, but the love of this wonderful man. What had started out as a marriage of convenience and duty had instead turned into the miracle that occurs between the most fortunate of men and women. She and Khalil were among those lucky enough to find a match that would last longer than a mere lifetime…one that was destined to be written in the clear beauty of the El Baharian sky.