Читать книгу Desert Rogues Part 2 - Сьюзен Мэллери, Susan Mallery - Страница 11

O kay, so the fact that he hadn’t forgotten about how good they were in bed meant what? Cleo tried to figure out if there were any nuances to his words, or if she should respond in some way. But before she could come up with a strategy, Sadik bent low and kissed her breasts.

“The color of your nipples has changed,” he said.

Cleo half raised herself to look. “Really?”

“You have not noticed?”

She couldn’t help smiling. “I have to admit I don’t spend a lot of my day looking at myself naked.”

Sadik brushed her belly with his hand. “I would spend all day gazing at you naked, if it were possible.”

The postlovemaking glow left her vulnerable. She didn’t think this was a good time to be listening to his compliments. They would only get her in trouble. The true disaster would be if she actually started to believe they meant something.

He nuzzled her belly. “And here, you have a dark line forming.” He placed his hands on either side of her stomach. “You carry my son.”

She stretched back on the bed. “The baby could be a girl. You might want to consider that.”

He ignored her…like that was a surprise. “My son. The first male grandchild of the king of Bahania.”

“I’m done arguing about the baby’s gender,” she told him. “Just be prepared to be wrong.”

His self-satisfied smile made her want to cuff him. “I am never wrong.”

She started to respond but was distracted by fluttering in her belly. “It’s happening,” she said, knowing she was crazy for wanting to share this with him.

But the baby’s tiny signs of life were precious to her, and there was no one else on the planet who would care as much, except for Sadik.

“Show me,” he demanded.

She took his hands and shifted them to the side. He pressed in slightly, then grinned when he felt the vibration.

“He is strong.”

“Apparently.”

Sadik was still as the movements continued. His hands were warm and comforting. As she watched, his expression tightened. His eyes darkened with emotion. It took her a couple of seconds to figure out he felt love for their unborn child. Love and adoration.

On the one hand Cleo knew she should be happy that he was so accepting of the baby’s presence. He could have been annoyed or denied that it was his. Then she reminded herself that if he were to have denied the child, she would have been free to leave. So that would have been a good thing.

Or would it? Perversely, she was glad he wanted their baby, even though it completely messed up her life. She hadn’t allowed herself to think through all the ramifications of having to live here. She had no idea what she was going to do with herself or what her role would be.

Now, seeing how much Sadik cared for his unborn child, she felt a dangerous stirring in her heart. She’d been doing her best to ignore her feelings for him ever since she’d run away, but if he kept up his adoration of the baby, she might not have a choice in the matter.

The movements slowed, then stopped. Sadik kissed her belly, then climbed out of bed. He stood there naked, obviously unconcerned that she could look her fill. His body was darned impressive, she thought, studying the outline of muscles, his flat belly and long legs. Not that she was as old-fashioned as the prince, but she had to admit she’d hit the genetic jackpot with her baby’s father.

“We will be married,” Sadik announced.

Cleo stared at him. Her brain absorbed the words and promptly rejected them. Her heart jumped, and she instantly felt way too undressed to be having this conversation.

“Excuse me?”

“You are to be the mother of my child. It is right that we should be married.”

A coldness settled in her bones. Cleo could barely breathe as she sat up, then slipped off the bed. She ignored Sadik as she collected her clothes.

Married? He wasn’t serious. Yet she knew he was. He would marry her for the baby. Of course. Why hadn’t she realized that before? For the child all things were possible. A combination of rage and hurt flooded her, making her actions jerky.

“What are you doing?” he asked as she pulled on her panties and reached for her bra.

“I would think that is obvious,” she snapped. “I’m getting dressed, then I’m getting out of here. I should never have come. I’m sorry we made love.”

It hurt to breathe. It hurt to keep moving. It was as if he’d attacked her with a club instead of with words. It wasn’t supposed to be like this.

Cleo couldn’t have said why she was so upset. She simply knew that she had to get alone and be by herself before she lost control.

“You are not going anywhere,” Sadik announced, still beautiful, still naked.

She refused to look at him. “You would be wrong about that,” she said as she slipped into her dress. It took a shimmy or two for her to pull up the zipper, but she managed it. She’d left her flowers at the reception. She had a very expensive necklace somewhere in Sadik’s rooms, but she would worry about that another time. After slipping into her shoes, she headed for the door.

He stalked over and grabbed her arm. “You are not going anywhere,” he repeated, obviously annoyed by her reaction. “I have said we are to be married. It is a great honor. You will be my wife, a princess of Bahania. How dare you not be pleased.”

She jerked free and glared at him. “To be honest, Your Highness, I’d rather eat glass.”

She opened the door and stepped into the hallway. Sadik spluttered, but he wasn’t dressed to give chase.

At first Cleo walked, but after a couple of minutes, she slipped off her shoes and ran down the long corridors. She made her way back to her suite and let herself in.

When the door was safely closed and she found herself alone, her legs seemed to give way. She sank onto the floor. After dropping her shoes, she pulled her legs to her chest—as much as she could—and rested her head on her knees.

Great painful sobs welled up inside of her. She tried to hold back, then figured there wasn’t much point. Who was she trying to impress?

Cleo cried as if her heart was breaking. A combination of sadness and anger fueled her emotions, and for several minutes she simply allowed her feelings to vent. When the storm had passed, she rose and went in search of a tissue.

She avoided looking at herself in the bathroom mirror. After blowing her nose, she stripped out of her fancy dress and slipped into her robe. The cotton folds were familiar and comforting. She cracked the French doors leading to the balcony, then crawled into the bed and rested her face against the cool fabric of the pillowcase.

Sadik wanted to marry her.

Just thinking the sentence made her eyes well up with tears. She started to get angry again.

“What’s going on?” she asked aloud.

There wasn’t an answer. Only the faint sound of music from the reception still going strong. Cleo curled up, feeling alone, lost and confused. Sadik’s offering to marry her was the honorable thing to do. Why did it bother her so?

She tucked her hands under the pillow as she considered her feelings. For one thing, his proposal hadn’t been an offer. He’d announced they were getting married. Not that his actions were a surprise. Sadik pretty much took what he wanted and dealt with any consequences later. What was the old staying? Ask forgiveness, not permission.

Except Sadik was a prince, so forgiveness was rarely needed.

He wanted to marry her. Why was that bad? It answered her question of what was to become of her when the baby was born. In fact, now that she was able to think straight, she shouldn’t have been surprised. Sadik wouldn’t want his firstborn child to be illegitimate.

Cleo closed her eyes and sighed. That was it, she realized. Everything about his wanting to marry her was based on the child. It wasn’t about her. If it weren’t for the baby, he wouldn’t have had anything to do with her—except for a possible invitation to join him in bed. Which he’d done, anyway.

It was the baby he cared about, not her. Not her.

Cleo rolled onto her back and stared at the ceiling. She remembered the last time she’d been here. Sadik had seduced more than her body—he’d found his way into her heart. She’d been smarter then. She’d known that there was no way she could find happiness with a handsome prince, so she’d cut her losses and headed back home.

Secretly she’d hoped he would come after her. She’d waited for the phone call that never came. Gradually she’d realized that he’d forgotten her.

But she’d been unable to forget him. Because she’d allowed herself to care and because she’d given herself to him.

A combination of parental abandonment and a big chip on her shoulder had sent Cleo into the world with something to prove. When she’d made the transition from girl to woman, her body had matured years before her emotions. All the attention she’d received in high school had been a balm to her wounded heart. She’d thought her curves were far from the ideal of thin and thinner, but the boys had adored her.

So she’d given in, because at sixteen the line between sex and love often blurred. By the time she’d turned twenty, she’d figured out that there was a line, but being sexually available was a hard habit to break.

When she turned twenty-one, she vowed she would never give her body unless she also handed over her heart.

Then she’d met Ian. He managed a pet supply store and they’d bonded over a particularly complex printing order. He’d invited her for coffee.

As he’d been the first man she’d met after her vow, she’d promised herself to go slow. It hadn’t been difficult. Ian was sensitive and kind, about as opposite from the guys she usually dated as it was possible to be.

She shifted on the bed as the uncomfortable memories returned. She remembered laughing with Ian. Talking late into the night. She remembered sharing hopes and dreams. He’d talked about wanting to get married and have a family. For the first time ever she’d allowed herself to believe that a normal life was possible, even for someone like her.

When their relationship had moved to the next level, she’d found herself eager to make love with him. While he hadn’t been all that exciting in bed, he’d been caring and attentive, if a little clumsy. She’d known she could be with him for the rest of her life.

Her bubble burst when a friend mentioned seeing Ian with another woman. At first Cleo had been too content to worry much, but eventually she’d asked him about her. Ian had told her the other woman was his fiancée.

Cleo rolled back on her side and covered her face. That moment was forever frozen in her mind. The disbelief at first. How she’d thought he was kidding, even though it was a pretty awful joke.

“I’m marrying Sandy,” Ian had repeated.

“What about us?” Cleo couldn’t remember being more stunned as his words sunk in. He wasn’t kidding. This wasn’t a joke.

“There’s no us.”

She’d been stunned by the contempt in his voice and the lack of caring in his eyes. Then he did the unthinkable. He laughed at her.

“Did you really think any of this mattered?” he asked, still chuckling. “Come on, Cleo. This was my last fling before settling down. I told you I wanted to get married and have kids.” He looked at her as if she were the most stupid person on the planet. “You didn’t really think I was serious about you? You’re the kind of woman guys sleep with, but you’re sure as hell not the kind we marry.”

Even now the words burned down to her soul. Somehow he’d found out about her past, she’d thought at the time. Or maybe the truth had been there for him to see. Maybe he didn’t need to know her past. Maybe just by looking at her he could tell that she was worthless.

Broken and bleeding, Cleo had gone home. She hadn’t told anyone what Ian had said, but she’d been unable to forget. That night, sometime between midnight and dawn, she’d vowed to never care about a man again. No matter who he was or what he said, she wouldn’t give in.

Two years after her self-imposed ban on relationships, she’d flown with her sister to Bahania, where she’d met a handsome prince. He’d charmed her and made her feel special. When he’d held her in his arms, she could tell that he thought she was amazing. It had been a temptation she’d been unable to resist.

And now that man wanted to marry her. But not for herself. Not because he loved her and couldn’t imagine a world without her, but because she was pregnant with his child. Without the baby she was nothing.

Cleo forced herself to breathe slowly. She didn’t want to cry again. She didn’t want to feel anymore. Certainly she didn’t want her feelings for Sadik to continue to grow.

Why had she given in? Why had she allowed herself to turn her back on her vow? She would pay the price for the rest of her life.

Then the truth settled on her—heavy, thick and inescapable. Her anger came from the death of her fantasy. Deep in her heart she’d wanted him to fall in love with her. Obviously, he hadn’t. Instead he’d gotten on with his life. Now he was going to do the right thing and propose, but that didn’t mean she mattered at all. All her hopes and dreams dried into dust. When they blew away, she would have only an ugly reality made up of two inescapable elements: a man who had married her out of duty and a heart hungry for so much more.

“Cleo?”

Cleo stirred, recognized Sadik’s voice and groaned. After a sleepless night she’d finally fallen into a light doze shortly after dawn, only to awaken a half hour ago with unexpected and unwelcome morning sickness.

Having thrown up and brushed her teeth, all she wanted was a chance to sleep for the rest of the morning.

“Go away,” she called, knowing he would be able to tell she’d cried long into the night. Unfortunately, despite the size of the suite, there wasn’t anywhere for her to hide.

He strolled into her bedroom looking tall and fit, as if he’d rested well. He probably had, she thought bitterly. No ghosts from his past had kept him up into the wee hours. As far as he was concerned, everything was settled.

He approached the bed, then settled on the mattress next to her. He smoothed her spiky bangs off her face. “You do not look well.”

“Gee, thanks.”

“Rest is important for the baby.”

“I know that,” she said between clenched teeth. “I don’t want to see you. Please leave.”

He ignored her. Like that was a surprise. After taking her hand in his, he brought it to his mouth where he kissed first her knuckles, then, turning her hand, the inside of her wrist. Cleo really hated the shivers that instantly danced up her arm and then shimmied around the rest of her body.

“We will need to be married quickly,” he said, as if picking up a conversation that had recently been interrupted. “The baby will come early, but that is of no consequence. The future prince will be the light of my life. My father will also be delighted. A first grandson. That is an event of great happiness here in the kingdom. It has been many years since there was a baby in the palace.”

He frowned slightly. “I will have to research the correct naming of our son. There are traditions to be upheld. Also there are certain schools I wish to contact. They will hold a place for him. Do you know when the baby is due?”

She stared at him. They weren’t actually having this conversation. No, this had to be some kind of strange dream or out-of-body experience.

When she didn’t answer right away, Sadik just kept on talking. “When you know for sure, let me know. Not that it matters for the schools. They are always pleased to have a member of the royal family attending. The British schools are excellent, but as you are American, that might be better.”

His lips kept flapping. Cleo couldn’t believe all that he was saying. He wanted to talk about schools and universities, while their child wasn’t much bigger than Sadik’s palm.

“You can make all the plans you want,” she said, “but I haven’t changed my mind. I’m not marrying you.”

Sadik looked mildly annoyed. He returned his attention to her wrist where he did slightly illegal things with his tongue. She felt herself starting to melt, so she snatched her hand free of his hold and sank deeper into the bed.

“You are pregnant with my child,” he said, as if speaking to a child. “The firstborn grandchild of the king of Bahania cannot be born illegitimate. Nor would I allow such a thing. We will be married.” He hesitated, then almost as an afterthought asked, “Why do you resist marrying me?”

At last he wanted to know what she thought of all this. The good news was she’d cried herself out last night. This morning there just plain weren’t any tears left. So she was able to listen to him go on about marrying for the sake of the baby without feeling more than a stab or two to her heart.

“You’re only interested in the baby,” she said. “I’m willing to be cooperative, but getting married isn’t an option.”

Sadik stood and glared down at her. “I honor you by this proposal.”

“No, you honor yourself. You don’t care about me at all. The baby is all that matters. Frankly, I don’t see that as a recipe for happiness, so why would I want to commit to staying here with you for the rest of my life?”

Her words seemed to have genuinely shocked him. He opened his mouth and then closed it. “I am Prince Sadik of Bahania. I am proposing.”

“I don’t think your station in life is a big surprise to me at this point, and I got that there was a proposal on the table.” She sat up and leaned against the headboard. It was time to tell him the truth…or as much as she could say without giving away too much. “I don’t want to marry someone who doesn’t care about me.”

“We have mutual respect and passion. That is a strong beginning for a marriage.” He frowned. “I will not be taking another wife. Is that your concern? Not only does Bahanian law forbid it, but I find you difficult enough.”

She supposed that was something.

They were at an impasse. Bottom line—he’d given his heart to Kamra and it was no longer available. Even if it was, she was hardly going to be his first choice for happily ever after.

“Mutual respect and passion isn’t enough, Sadik,” she said gently. “You’re not listening, and you’re not thinking this through. I’m the wrong woman for you to marry. Can you really see me as a princess?”

“Of course.”

He answered without thinking. In a way it was really sweet, but totally unrealistic.

She hadn’t wanted to get into this. To be honest, she didn’t want him to know the truth about her past. But it seemed that she didn’t have a choice.

She scooted over in the bed, then patted the mattress. “Have a seat.”

When he settled next to her, she studied his face. His dark eyes, the sharp plane of his cheeks, the firm, stubborn jaw. What on earth had she been thinking, falling for a handsome prince? Of course, if he hadn’t been handsome, the situation still would have been really complicated.

“I want to cooperate,” she said slowly. “I’m resigned to staying here. I know I can’t take my child and hide out from you. Not only would you eventually catch me, but it would be wrong.” She drew in a deep breath. “We can come to terms about the baby, but I can’t marry you.”

Annoyance clouded his face. He started to rise, but she put a restraining hand on his arm. “Hear me out, Sadik.”

“Women are always difficult,” he muttered.

“Perhaps, but I’m being difficult for a good reason.” She bit her lower lip. She tried to forget her past as much as possible. Her circumstances had nearly broken her many times, but she’d always found the courage to go on. She was going to have to do that again.

“I’m pretty sure my parents were married,” she began. “I never found a marriage license, but my mother said they were, and I have my dad’s name. I never knew him. He died before I was born. He overdosed on drugs.”

Sadik’s expression turned unreadable, but she guessed he hadn’t expected to hear this kind of story.

“My mother was also an addict. She was in and out of rehab or jail for as long as I can remember. She’d usually leave me with a neighbor. Sometimes the state stuck me in foster care. Sometimes she just disappeared and I did the best I could until she showed up again.”

Cleo spoke the words without considering their meaning. If she actually focused on what she was saying, the past overwhelmed her and she found herself drowning in the memories. It was far better to stay disconnected.

“There were times when we lived with her friends and times when we didn’t have anywhere to go. I remember spending nights on the streets or in shelters.”

“How old were you?” Sadik asked.

She didn’t look at him. Instead she stared at the blanket covering her, at the weave of the cotton and the smoothness of the fibers she rubbed between her fingers.

“I don’t know. Young. I remember being about four or five and hiding in a doorway. I didn’t go to school much. We were always moving around the city.” She smiled. “I was born in Los Angeles and lived there until I was about eleven. I’ll bet you didn’t know I was from the land of movie stars.”

She risked glancing at him and saw she had his full attention. His dark eyes stared into hers. She looked away because she didn’t want him to see too far into her soul. He would find it a disappointing place.

She cleared her throat. “Anyway, things got pretty bad. Mom was sick and then one day she died. The state bounced me around in foster care. I was labeled a problem child. I did badly in school. Then I was placed with Fiona and Zara.” She shrugged. “Fiona was a bit of a flake, but she had a big heart. The first thing she did was buy me all new clothes, along with a big stuffed bear. She told me I was pretty. I pretended not to care, but she was the first person in my life who ever saw me as a real person and not just an inconvenience.”

She had to pause for a second to swallow tears. “Zara was pretty cool. She was smart and cute, but a social retard. We made a good team. She helped me with my schoolwork and I helped her to fit in. When Fiona decided to move on, she simply took me with her. I guess the state lost my paperwork or something because no one ever came looking for me.” She shrugged. “So that’s how I came to be Zara’s foster sister.”

“You survived a great deal,” he said.

She raised her chin and glared at him. “I didn’t tell you all that to get the sympathy vote. My point is I’m hardly princess material. You have to see that.”

“What I see is someone strong enough to overcome humble beginnings. I am impressed by your ability to rise above your circumstances and become the charming, intelligent woman I see before me.”

She groaned. The man was as thick as a plank. “Sadik, get real. I’m not smart. I barely finished high school, and that wouldn’t have happened without Zara. I wanted to go to college, but I didn’t think I could make it.”

“Intelligence and education often have little in common,” he said. “Your spirit and drive bode well for our son.”

She leaned toward him. “Are you listening to even one word I’m saying? What happens when the press finds out about my past? I promise you, they will. They’ll go digging, and that’s what they’ll find.”

“I do not care what they find. Their opinions are of no consequence to me.” He took her hand in his and laced their fingers together. “You may protest all you want. You may scream and cry and tell me more stories from your past, but make no mistake, we will be married.”