Читать книгу Desert Rogues Part 2 - Сьюзен Мэллери, Susan Mallery - Страница 14

P leading exhaustion, Cleo escaped from the party shortly after dinner. She couldn’t help contrasting her small, quickly arranged reception with Zara’s gala affair. Of course she had no one to blame but herself for the different circumstances. Zara had been smart enough to fall in love with someone who loved her. And she’d been smart enough not to get pregnant. Cleo tried to make a joke by telling herself she would do it better next time—except she knew there wouldn’t be a next time. No matter what his feelings were for her, or hers for him, she and Sadik were married, and it was going to be a union for life. She would not give up her children, and he would not want the scandal of divorce.

She paused in the hallway, unsure which way to turn. Then she remembered one of the servants telling her that her things would be moved into Sadik’s suite during the ceremony. She doubted that anyone would have unpacked her boxes from Spokane and wondered what Sadik would say when he saw her rather tattered teddy bear collection. It was not likely to go with his designer-perfect interior.

Cleo made a left at the next hallway, then stopped in front of Sadik’s door. Her door now, she reminded herself. Her world. Her life.

She stepped inside and closed the door behind her. She’d seen the living room of his suite at least a dozen times and yet it looked unfamiliar. She took in the dark furniture, the original paintings on the wall, the view that was similar to the one from her room. She knew that this suite was laid out differently, with three bedrooms instead of two. The master suite was larger, with two smaller bedrooms on the opposite side of the living room.

Cleo crossed in that direction. The bedroom on the left contained a home office setup. The lack of papers on the desk, along with the dust cover on the computer, told her that Sadik didn’t do work in here. As his actual office was less than a five-minute walk away, it made sense that he would go there when he needed to get things done.

The second bedroom had been tucked in a corner of the palace with views of both the ocean and the gardens. A good-size alcove jutted out toward the lush foliage below. A double closet held adjustable racks.

The space was completely empty, the walls bare. Cleo wasn’t sure she’d ever been in this room before, but she knew it had been emptied for the baby. She placed her hand on her stomach as she turned slowly, taking in the views and the space. It was easy to picture a crib against the far wall and a changing table between the windows. Later, when their child was older, toys could be stored in the alcove. Eventually, when there were other children—she didn’t doubt that Sadik wanted many—they would have to move to one of the family suites. But for now this would be home.

Cleo crossed to the wall and touched the smooth surface. What color would be best? A pale yellow, perhaps. Or maybe she should keep them cream and put up a border print of wallpaper. Maybe something with bears to go with her collection.

She closed her eyes and imagined the sound of a baby’s soft sighs. She inhaled the scent of sweet skin and powder, felt the cuddly fabrics of sleepers. Her fingers pressed in slightly on her stomach, as if she could touch her child.

“I promise I’ll be here for you,” she whispered, and knew that was the most important thing she could do for her child—provide him or her with two loving parents.

While she doubted Sadik’s desire to care about her, she believed he would be a good and devoted father. If the price of giving her child the best start possible was her own happiness, then she would pay it.

“I wondered where you had run off to.”

She heard Sadik’s quiet words a heartbeat before he came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her. He rested his hands over hers on her belly.

“How are you feeling?” he asked.

“Tired,” she admitted. “Confused.”

“How does it feel to be Princess Cleo?”

She heard the smile in his voice as he spoke, but his question didn’t feel amusing to her. Instead her eyes burned. “Nothing about this situation feels real, so I can’t answer the question.”

He turned her in his arms. Concern clouded his eyes. “You have the luxury of time to adjust to your new circumstances,” he told her gently. “We are married now. You are my wife.”

Wife. She turned the word over in her mind but couldn’t make it sink in. She didn’t feel like his wife or a princess or anything but a fraud. A pregnant fraud.

“As you can see, I have had the furniture removed from our son’s room. Whatever you require for our child will be provided. There are decorators who are familiar with the palace. There are also several large baby stores in the city, or you may order from catalogs.”

She tried to ignore the ache in her heart and focus instead on the feel of his arms around her. Being close to Sadik always gave her a sense of belonging. If she could capture that sensation now and hold on to it, maybe she wouldn’t be so lost.

“How do you know about baby stores?” she asked.

“I have heard rumors. Also, I checked on the Internet. There is much information there.”

“I see.” She stepped away from him and studied the empty space. “I don’t have any specific ideas yet. I’ll think about it, maybe look at some magazines to get ideas.” She glanced at him over her shoulder. “Do you wish to be consulted before I go ahead with anything?”

“We may discuss it if you would like, or you may make your own choices.”

She figured he knew she was upset and was trying to be sensitive. The problem was that being sensitive didn’t set well on an arrogant prince.

He moved close and took her hand in his. “While we are on the subject, I would like you to redo the rest of the suite. At your own pace, when you are ready, of course. But these rooms should be ours, not simply mine.”

“Of course,” she murmured. His being so darned agreeable was humorous, only she couldn’t seem to make herself smile.

She thought of the boxes stacked in the living room and her few items of clothing hanging in his vast closet. How on earth was she supposed to fit in here? She was so the wrong person for Sadik to have married.

“What are you thinking?” he asked, his voice sounding kind.

He was being nice. Perversely, she almost wished he would go back to demanding his way. At least she understood that man.

“Just that this is all too strange,” she admitted. “I don’t belong here.”

“You are my wife,” he repeated. “You are a royal princess of Bahania. Your place is wherever you want it to be.”

“As long as I don’t try to leave, right?” she said bitterly.

He dropped her hand and rested his palms on her shoulders. “Cleo, we are married. I know there have been difficulties between us, but it is time to put them in the past. Let us begin again, as husband and wife.”

Anger flared inside her, fueled by a sadness so profound she thought it might break her in two. “I appreciate what you’re saying. Of course it makes perfect sense. The problem is I can’t forget the truth. If I hadn’t been pregnant, you would never have wanted to marry me. When I left here, you didn’t give me a second thought. You never called or tried to get in touch with me. I ceased to exist for you.”

What she didn’t say, but was thinking, was that while he expected her to get over the past, he had no plans to do the same. Kamra was still alive and well in his mind.

“What do you want from me?” he asked.

I want you to love me, or I want you to let me go.

Cleo sighed. There was no point in trying to answer the question, she thought.

“It doesn’t matter,” she said, feeling tired.

“It does to me.”

“No, it doesn’t.” She shrugged free of his touch. “I’m not a person to you. I’m a vessel to carry your child.”

“That is not true.” He reached for her, but she backed away. Sadik sighed. “In time you will come to see that you are an important part of my life. You will understand that I have married you with the intention of fulfilling my vows. I will respect you and desire you all the days of our lives.”

She didn’t know what to say, so chose to say nothing. When he put an arm around her, she let herself be led from the room. No doubt Sadik thought the problem had been solved. All would be well now.

She walked into the living room and saw that he’d had food brought in. Several covered dishes sat on a wheeled cart.

“We had dinner at the reception,” she reminded him.

“You did not eat. Come. You will find that I have ordered all your favorites.”

The thought of eating made her stomach turn. “I’m not very hungry,” she said. “I’m tired, Sadik. I want to go to bed.”

He glanced at her. She figured he would be able to see there wasn’t much of an invitation in her eyes. No doubt he’d been expecting that they would do the wild thing that night—after all, they’d only made love once since she’d come back to Bahania and this was their wedding night.

Sadik saw the weariness in Cleo’s expression. He wasn’t surprised that she was tired. There had been many changes in the past few weeks. But the hopelessness also lurking there disturbed him more. He wanted her happy for the sake of the baby. Too much sadness could not be good.

His first instinct was to order her to smile, but the ridiculousness of the instruction stopped him. He could force Cleo to do as he wished, but he knew he would have little luck making her feel as he would bid. She could be both stubborn and difficult.

Patience, he told himself. He would be patient and she would come around.

He kissed her gently on the mouth, resisting the passion that flared instantly. “Go to bed,” he told her. “I will not bother you this night.”

She pressed her lips together, then nodded gratefully and headed for the bedroom. As he watched her go he had the fleeting thought that she would be taking the only bed in the suite, which left him in the uncomfortable position of being a bridegroom with nowhere to sleep.

Once he was alone, he glanced around for something with which to occupy himself. The food did not interest him, nor did he want to watch a movie or read a book. He prowled restlessly through the living room, then down the hall to the two empty bedrooms. The first would be for the baby. He tried to imagine how his son would look sleeping in his crib. Sadik frowned, then tried to imagine anything about his son. He did not have contact with infants or small children, nor did he know anything about Cleo’s pregnancy. He barely knew when the child was expected.

His frown deepened as he made his way to the second bedroom. The makeshift office had not been used in some time, but the computer would be adequate for his purposes and it was hooked up to the Internet.

In a matter of seconds he’d logged on to a search engine and typed in the word pregnancy. Far too many links came up. He chose several at random and began to read. An hour later he saw there was much to be learned. He clicked his mouse on an on-line bookstore and searched their stock. When he’d ordered a half dozen different books on pregnancy and childbirth, he returned to the various Web sites and began to read.

Cleo woke up shortly after dawn. Except for a bathroom break, she’d slept through the night, resting more deeply than she had in weeks. She might not like her current situation, but knowing her fate apparently allowed her to relax about it.

She knew it was time to make the best of a bad situation. Upsetting herself couldn’t be good for the baby, and being depressed would only make her feel worse. She and Sadik were married. In her case the “for better or worse” seemed to be starting out on the “worse” end, but her complaints were her own problem. She had shelter, food and a man who desperately wanted his child. They were healthy and her future was secure. Considering all that, the dream of true love seemed a little greedy.

Sadik had been right when he’d pointed out they had passion and mutual respect. And friendship. For the most part they got along. She enjoyed his company, and she would guess he enjoyed hers. That he’d been able to let her go without once thinking about her was irrelevant.

There were worse fates than being married to a wealthy, handsome prince who didn’t love her.

That decided, she got up and brushed her teeth. She was trying to decide if she wanted to eat before or after her shower, when there was a knock at the bedroom door.

Sadik let himself in before she could decide what to do. He glanced first at the empty bed, then made his way into the bedroom.

“You’re already awake,” he said, sounding disappointed.

Cleo was too taken aback by the tray he held in his hands to answer.

“I’ve brought you breakfast,” he said. “Please return to bed. I will serve you.”

She was so surprised she nearly stumbled. “You’re serving me?”

“Yes. It will be this way every morning through your pregnancy.” He set the tray on the nightstand. “Unless I have to travel for business. Then I will have one of the servants bring in your breakfast.”

Cleo thought about pointing out that she was more than capable of walking to a breakfast table. Especially considering that there was one right in the suite. But his thoughtful act did a number on her hormone-sensitive emotions. She found herself fighting tears.

Rather than try conversation, and risk those tears, she simply made her way back to bed and pulled the covers up to her chin.

Sadik motioned to the tray with a flourish worthy of a magician performing a disappearing act. “Fresh fruits, all picked at dawn from the palace garden. Scones because I know you like them.”

She didn’t want to think about the past, but his comment made the memories impossible to resist. The first night they’d been together had stretched into the following morning. As they had both been too busy flirting the previous evening to eat, they’d been starving. Sadik had ordered up breakfast, offering Cleo her choice of several items. She’d been rapturous about the scones. In fact, he’d gotten into the habit of collecting favors from her by promising scones in return.

Her gaze slid from the plate overflowing with the fragrant pastry to a bright purple drink in a tall glass. Her stomach turned at the sight of it.

“What’s that?” she asked.

“A protein drink,” he said. “I found the recipe on the Internet last night. It has many of the essential nutrients both you and the baby need. There are also several ingredients, such as ginger, to ease any lingering morning sickness.”

“I felt fine until I took a look at that drink,” she muttered. “Does it have to be so purple?”

He looked offended. “The color is the best part.”

“Then you drink it.”

Instead of responding, he handed her the glass. She took a sip. It actually wasn’t so bad.

She was about to tell him so when he knelt by the side of the bed. Cleo nearly dropped her drink in surprise. But he wasn’t done stunning her for one morning.

Sadik gently pulled down the covers until they rested on the tops of her thighs. Then he tugged up her nightgown and placed both his hands on her bare belly.

His touch was gentle, his fingers warm. Afraid she would start to like this too much and pant like a dog, she took another sip of her drink.

“I have neglected our son,” he told her, glancing at her briefly before returning his attention to her stomach. “There is some disagreement as to whether he can hear and understand from the womb. As I know our child will be of a superior nature, I believe he knows when he is being addressed. As my firstborn son, there is much for him to know. I will save time by beginning his education now.”

Cleo couldn’t speak. She tried, but her lips wouldn’t move. As she watched, Sadik leaned close to her rounded stomach.

“Welcome, my son. Your mother and I eagerly await your delivery. But as it will be several months until you are with us, I want to use this time to tell you about your heritage, both of the land and the people. You are most fortunate to be born into the royal family of Bahania. You come from a long line of good and wise rulers.”

He cleared his throat. “The written history of Bahania goes back over two thousand years. While that is of some importance, the ruling family of your father first took control of the throne in the year 937. Before that, many nomadic tribes had fought for control of the land that is Bahania.”

Sadik spoke easily of the history of his people and their land. Cleo sipped her drink and listened. She tried to stay detached, but it was impossible not to feel close to the man kneeling beside her bed. How was she supposed to resist him when he acted like this? She felt herself falling even more in love with him.

“Horses have always been important to the desert,” he continued. “There are those who say it is the camel that tamed the wildness, but it was the horse. We will discuss that tomorrow, my son.”

He kissed her belly, then pulled down her nightgown and drew up the covers.

She shook her head. “What if the baby is a girl?”

He dismissed her with a wave, then snatched one of the scones. “I am Prince Sadik of Bahania.”

“I keep telling you that the title isn’t really news. I’m just wondering what you’ll do if we have a girl.”

“We won’t,” he said with a confidence that made her want to both slug him and hold him so close that she could hear the beating of his heart.

She sighed. “I guess I already knew you were an arrogant prince the first time I met you.”

He grinned. “You were charmed.”

“Not exactly.”

He kissed her mouth, then walked toward the door. “You were charmed then, and you remain charmed.”

She couldn’t help laughing as he left. Sadik made her crazy. He made her a lot of things. But the bottom line was—the man did charm her. Darn him.

Cleo rose and showered, then dressed for her first day as a real, live princess. With the exception of a light mist of rain falling, there seemed to be little difference between this day and the one before. Except for the ring, she thought staring at the sapphire engagement ring nestling against her gold wedding band.

There it was—proof that she and Sadik were really married. The palace was now her home.

Cleo couldn’t even think that sentence without wanting to run for cover. How on earth was she supposed to live it? “Don’t think about it now,” she said aloud.

Instead she headed for the living room where her boxes from her former life sat waiting for her. There were also several catalogs stacked on the coffee table. She didn’t remember seeing them before, so someone must have brought them in. She sat on the sofa and leafed through the various baby catalogs. There were cribs and changing tables, dressers, rocking chairs, linens, clothes and dozens of containers, toys and accessories about which she had no clue. The prices were also amazing, but then, the royal set probably didn’t do much shopping at discount stores.

She found a wallpaper catalog at the bottom of the pile and flipped through the pages, wondering if her child would prefer a motif of bunnies or bears. No doubt Sadik would press for a masculine theme. She would have to stand firm that there had to be at least a small chance that the baby would be a girl.

Before she could make a wallpaper decision, the phone rang. Her heart instantly jumped in her chest, making her feel both alive and very foolish. It wasn’t Sadik, she reminded herself, even as she wanted it to be him.

“Hello?”

“Princess Cleo, this is Marie. I’m one of the head housekeepers here in the palace. I’m calling to find out your preference for cleaning the suite. I can send a staff member whenever you would like. The time can be flexible or set on a regular schedule. Also, I’ve spoken with the main kitchen. They asked me to remind you that you are always welcome to order in a private dinner, if that would be more to your liking.” Humor and friendliness filled Marie’s voice. “This is your honeymoon, after all.”

Cleo didn’t know what to think. “Um, I guess dinner in the suite would be great.”

“Shall I have the head chef phone, or would you prefer to contact him at your convenience?”

As she didn’t have a clue as to what to order for dinner, or even what was available, Cleo figured she’d better do some research first. “I’ll, ah, call myself.”

“Very well. What about the cleaning?”

“Can we pass on that today? I’ll decide on the best time and get back to you in the morning.”

“As you wish. Please feel free to call on me for any request. It is our pleasure to serve you, Princess Cleo.”

“Thanks.”

She hung up the phone, feeling as disconcerted as if she’d just had a long chat with aliens. This couldn’t possibly be her world. It was insane. It was royalty. Obviously, the palace was a well-oiled machine. She would have to stay out of the ever-moving cogs so she didn’t get caught in the mechanism.

Cleo tossed down the catalog and crossed to the window. The sky and water were gray in the rain. She pressed her fingers against the pristine glass and wondered what on earth she was doing here. Did she really think she could fit in as if she belonged? Her? She was absolutely the last person on the planet who should have married into a royal family.

She turned and stared at the cardboard boxes stacked in the corner. She knew what she would find when she opened them. Old tattered stuffed animals and books bought at a secondhand store. There would be clothes she would never wear again and a few pictures. Minor remnants of a very small life.

She had always thought it would be more. That somehow she could make herself matter. But that didn’t seem to have happened. Now she was Sadik’s wife and soon to be her child’s mother. She seemed to have lost herself along the way.

A knock on the door interrupted her thoughts. This time her heartbeat remained calm. Sadik would never request permission to enter his own rooms.

She rose and opened the front door. A young woman stood holding a vase of flowers. She handed them to Cleo, gave a half curtsy, then left.

Cleo stared after her, more bemused by the curtsy than curious about the flowers. Were people really going to do that to her now? It would make life unbearable. She made a mental note to call Marie and discuss it with her, then carried the flowers into the living room and set them in the center of the table. After admiring the fragrant blossoms, she reached for the small card tucked among the leaves.

“You are welcome to join me for a late-morning tea.”

The note was signed by King Hassan. Cleo glanced at the clock. It was nearly eleven. She figured she’d better hustle her butt over to the business section of the palace—it was unlikely the king of Bahania had issued the invitation on a whim.

Five minutes later the king’s male secretary escorted her into Hassan’s private office. A tea cart stood at the ready, and the king sat on one of the sofas. He glanced up when she entered and set his report next to him. Then he rose and walked toward her, both arms extended.

“Welcome, my daughter,” he said as he embraced her and kissed her on both cheeks. “This is your first day as a member of the royal family. What do you think so far?”

“I’m still numb,” she admitted as he motioned for her to take a seat by the cart. She assumed that was a not-so-subtle hint that she was expected to pour. She had to nudge a dozing calico out of the way before she could plop down.

“Soon you’ll be bustling around the palace as if you have lived here all your life.”

She patted her round stomach. “I’m getting too big to be bustling anytime soon. Maybe after the baby is born.” She reached for the teapot and poured the tea into two delicate cups. The china had an oriental pattern and she didn’t doubt that they were from an antique set with a long history.

“Now that I live here, I guess I’m going to have to learn something about the country,” she said, then shook her head. “Sorry. I didn’t mean it to come out that way. I’m actually very interested in Bahania.”

“There are many wonderful books in the palace library,” the king said helpfully as she passed him his tea. “Or I could have one of our national historians come by and give you lessons.”

She held up both her hands. “I think I’ll pass on the private tutoring. Anything I need to learn, I can find out myself, either by reading or even visiting a museum.”

“As you wish,” the king said. “I would suggest you begin by touring the city. There are many beautiful and historic sites.” He frowned. “While a Bahanian driver’s license will be obtained for you, I would ask that you not venture out on your own until you are familiar with our roads. I will have a driver assigned to you.”

Cleo wasn’t sure she wanted to be escorted, but the king’s comments about getting to know the city made sense. The last thing she needed was to get lost.

“I appreciate that,” she told him.

He smiled. “We all wish for your happiness.” Hassan hesitated. “I know that the circumstances of your marriage were not what you had hoped they would be, however I am convinced that you and Sadik can be happy together.”

Cleo took a sip of tea rather than answer. She didn’t think her royal father-in-law would like her response.

“You would find the transition easier if you made a life for yourself,” he continued. “Sadik thinks you will be content to be a mother, but I sense you will need more. What are your interests, Cleo? Bahania has much to recommend itself.”

She appreciated the show of support and interest, although she found the question a challenge. “I don’t have any specific interests. I’ve never been a hobby and craft person and I don’t play a musical instrument.”

“What is the one thing you have always wanted to do and has so far eluded you?”

That was a no-brainer, she thought glumly. “I know that Zara is the smart one in the family,” she said. “However, I always regretted not going to college when I had the chance. When I was in high school, I didn’t study much. The classes were just something I had to endure. Now I think I could really enjoy learning about things.”

He set his tea on the table in front of them and spread his arms open wide. “Why don’t you try it and see what you think? I’ll make an appointment with the president of the university. You can go to see the campus this afternoon.”

Cleo felt as if she’d stepped onto a rapidly moving conveyor belt. “I don’t need to meet with the university president,” she said quickly. “Can’t I just walk around the campus, then maybe apply like a regular student?”

“Child, you are many wonderful things, but you are not a regular anything. Not anymore. You are Princess Cleo of Bahania.” He smiled. “Don’t worry. You will grow into the title.”

Not in this lifetime, she thought, more afraid of her marriage now than she had been before walking into the room. It was one thing to worry about whether or not her husband loved her. It was another to have to deal with the reality of being an actual princess. There were responsibilities and expectations she hadn’t considered.

“I’m beginning to think you are all going to regret inviting me to join the team,” she muttered.

The king shook his head. “I suspect that in a few months we are all going to wonder how we survived without you.”

Cleo hoped that was true…especially for Sadik.