Читать книгу Counseling the Contemporary Woman - Suzanne Degges-White - Страница 28

While assertiveness training may be viewed as “old school” due to its arrival on the self-help scene in the 1970s (Speed, Goldstein, & Goldfried, 2017), it still holds significant value as a tool to help clients gain mastery over their cognitions and behaviors. The goal of assertiveness training is to facilitate a client’s ability to stand up for herself and express her thoughts and feelings with confidence while recognizing that her own behavior should not restrict the rights or freedoms of another (Alberti & Emmons, 1970). The implementation of this technique may include skills such as behavior rehearsal, learning to avoid manipulative exchanges with others by consistently staying on topic, and learning to acknowledge shortcomings without feeling guilt or shame.

Behavior rehearsal occurs when a counselor asks a client to practice, in session, the statements or questions that the client wants to use outside of session. For instance, if a client feels that her work supervisor is unfairly assigning work tasks based on gender, her counselor can ask her to state, in session, what she would like to express to her supervisor. She might try out statements such as, “Mr. Jackson, I feel that you assign me more of the background research on projects than you do the men in our department. I’d like the opportunity to meet with potential clients, not just do the fact-finding on their businesses.” The counselor can invite her to practice the statement several times in session as well as play out the potential conversation through role play by having the client and counselor take turns playing out the roles of employee and supervisor. This allows the counselor the opportunity to try and manipulate the conversation in ways that will give the client practice in keeping to the facts and refusing to allow herself to be “derailed” in her advocacy for her rights on the job. The counselor may also encourage the client to practice the statement in front of a mirror to help her practice assertive, strong posture and facial expressions.

Learning to be accepting of one’s shortcomings can be especially challenging when a client has been taught that her identity has little value and is an impediment to success. Counselors can provide clients with the space to discuss the negative messages they receive about their gender, appearance, identity, and so on. Following the discussion, the counselor can help the client to tease out any “truths” in the message and help the client to “own” her weaknesses without any sense of shame. For instance, if a client acknowledges that she is stronger in “street smarts” than “book smarts,” she can discuss ways her “weakness” has strengths and become less defensive about her lack of formal education.

Assertiveness training can be especially appropriate for clients who are able to recognize instances in which they are being “shut down” or disregarded. Women experiencing marginalization in any sector of life, including home, school, work, institutional organizations, and so on, can gain significantly from learning how to communicate assertively and effectively. It is not unusual for women who have been reared in environments that fostered gender-based power imbalances to have difficulty developing assertive communication skills. They may experience cognitive dissonance in their early attempts to practice assertiveness as the mastery of the new skills may be in conflict with the values and gendered behavioral expectations with which they were raised. Counselors may choose to incorporate consciousness-raising discussions and gentle challenges to hesitant clients to encourage movement toward change and increased confidence in practice of new skills.