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The goal of RCT therapy is movement away from isolation (Duffey & Somody, 2011) into relational competence and growth (Frey, 3013; Singh & Moss, 2016). This is all done through the strength of connection and the therapeutic relationship. Within the confines of this relationship, a “quality of presence” (Jordan, 2000, p. 1014) is formed, and together a counselor and client can explore the presenting concern, evaluate past relationships, and experience disconnection and connection.

While the therapeutic relationship appears to begin with an imbalance of power due to a counselor’s expertise, RCT contends that both individuals in the counseling relationship bring their own competence and knowledge. Each person contributes to the sessions and the relationship. The counselor may be the expert clinically, but she is not the expert on the client’s life, and both individuals will grow through the connection developed in their therapeutic alliance. The counselor is responsible for acknowledging social discrimination, prejudice, and contextual factors that contribute to stress (Comstock et al., 2008) and then helping clients conceptualize themselves within their cultural context (Duffey & Somody, 2011).

The therapy process begins with an assessment phase (Jordan, 2018). While building the relationship, the counselor integrates some psychoanalytic components, gathering background information and learning the client’s early relational experiences (Frey, 2013; Jordan, 2018). Understanding the client’s history and looking at ongoing patterns of connection can be valuable in learning current ways of relating. The counselor also explores the client’s strengths, similar to other feminist therapies, and seeks to discover the client’s resiliencies, how they resolve conflicts, and what strategies they use for disconnection (e.g., fighting, instigating arguments, or withdrawing). The counselor discovers ineffective relational dynamics and explores how these have been reinforced by social influences (Comstock et al., 2008).

RCT describes the following six components as part of the therapeutic process (Jordan, 2018):

1. Working though relational connections and disconnections both in the therapeutic relationship and elsewhere. During counseling, clients are challenged to objectively evaluate their relationships. How do they relate to others? When do they feel connected? What influences their willingness to be vulnerable? What past experiences may affect this vulnerability? How do disconnections arise? When do they feel threatened? By exploring the answers to these and other related questions and working through the counselor–client relationship, clients begin to understand their feelings around relationships and their role in making them genuine or inauthentic.

2. Development of mutual empathy to include empathy for oneself. As described above, RCT is unique in the inclusion of two-way or mutual empathy as a counseling technique. During the therapy process, empathy is not a one-sided experience where the counselor expresses empathy for the client. Rather, they engage in the mutual empathy process, where it is apparent both people are affected empathetically. The counselor does not stop with a statement such as, “It must have been very difficult to have experienced that kind of ongoing abuse.” Rather, they extend the connection by not only expressing empathy but also describing that they are affected, such as, “It must have been very difficult to have experienced that kind of ongoing abuse. Hearing your story really affects me.” Through this powerful model of connection, clients feel valued and empowered and begin to learn self-empathy.

3. Processing and re-creating negative relational images. During counseling, clients explore their relational expectations, and through the example of the therapeutic relationship and counselor’s support, they are challenged to begin to dispute these images. A counselor may ask for discrepant relationships that contest ingrained expectations (i.e., discovering a relative or teacher who treated them with respect and compassion). The counselor also works to nurture new expectations of new relationships as a way to prevent the reoccurrence of past patterns, as many people are drawn to relationship patterns that are familiar even if they are unhealthy or abusive. By recognizing and re-creating relational images and planning for healthy relationships within the context of a relationship based on mutual empathy, clients feel valued and empowered to make changes.

4. Counselor responsiveness and willingness to be affected by a client. To be an RCT counselor, one must be open to being vulnerable. Because RCT is grounded in cooperative relationship, the counselor must be open to change; nevertheless, the counselor must remain in their occupational role. The clinician is there for the client, conscious of their ethical responsibilities and attentive to their clinical judgment and intuition. Being affected does not mean shifting the focus from helping to being helped or distracting a client from their emotional experience by the counselor sharing their reactions. Rather, it means opening oneself to an authentic experience where the client truly feels in connection.

5. Integration and acceptance of the client’s unique culture. As mentioned, a counselor acknowledges a client’s culture and the many positive and negative experiences that may be the result (e.g., marginalization, prejudice, heterosexism). By drawing attention to multiculturalism and intersectionality, the counselor fully accepts the client and attempts to learn from the client’s unique experiences. Differences between the client and counselor are broached, as working through these differences openly can provide another layer of healing and connection. A counselor does not need to have a similar past to the client, but they do need to be open to addressing and empathetically working to understand the client’s history.

6. Development of relational “resilience.” Resilience alone is not an element of RCT therapy as it denotes a potential movement toward isolation rather than learning to reach out and connect to others. Rather than seeking seclusion, relational resilience demonstrates movement toward comfort with vulnerability, confidence, empowerment, and evolution as a relational being. Bouncing back from hurt and continuing to attempt connection to others is difficult but also an opportunity for deeper connection and better understanding of oneself.

The co-occurrence of these six elements during counseling can help a client learn a new style of relating authentically where unproductive patterns of connecting can vulnerably be addressed and sustainable healthy strategies for relationship be created (Duffey & Somody, 2011). Through this process, individuals develop emotional strength and decrease distress (Frey, 2013).