Читать книгу Counseling the Contemporary Woman - Suzanne Degges-White - Страница 60

The relationship between a mother and a daughter can shift dramatically with the onset of puberty. What was once observed as a loving, kind, and friendly relationship might become more competitive and stressful during the adolescent years. Through the process of separation from her mother, a daughter seeks to establish her own identity and draws influence and engagement from a wider world (e.g., peers, school) than just her home and immediate family. Generational differences can produce wide disparities in values such as independence and sexuality, which can predictably lead to mother–daughter conflict. Not surprisingly, studies have found that a supportive approach to adolescent girls’ autonomy seeking was associated with fewer conflicts (Missotten, Luyckx, Vanhalst, Nelemans, & Branje, 2017). In some cases, mothers may over-identify with their daughters or feel jealous of a daughter’s youth and attractiveness; unsurprisingly, these feelings often result in a violation of boundaries (Williams, 1987). As daughters strive for increasing levels of autonomy and choose not to confide in their mothers but rather a friend or a relative, mothers may find this separation process rather painful. Once daughters mature, grow into adulthood, and accrue more life experience, the competition or rivalry may diminish and a new intimacy may set in from knowing and understanding each other (Degges-White & Borzumato-Gainey, 2011).