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Chapter 9

The addition of Tterrassa Banafasi to Emilia’s and Mary’s family (two and a half years after Luigi and Guido)

Stella, an aging local spinster, was on her way to the weekly Porking Bee when she was passing by the now empty Mormon mini-temple—the same one where Guido and Luigi were found—when she saw a woman, all in black, walking quickly away, with her hands holding her stomach.

She heard a strange wailing sound coming from the area where the altar used to be. In she went. On the floor wrapped in a white shroud was a little baby. She did not know exactly what to do, except that she couldn’t leave her there.

She brought the baby to the Porking Bee Hall where she and the local women got together to knit pork-skin quilts to be sold at the Pork Belly Festival. Mary happened to be there on this day. The women, except for Mary, were beyond their child-raising years and brainstormed ways to raise money for supplies using the baby. They all agreed that the best thing to do is maybe raffle her off at after the local monthly bingo tournament.

Tterrassa was about one month old when Emilio and Mary won the bidding by only two Lira. Since the twins were only three-ish, they felt it would be a nice addition. It certainly solved their “who’s at fault” issue.

They named her Teresa, only to find out later that she had a horrible stutter. They discovered when she tried to say “Mmmaaaama,” “Pppaappa,” “Guueeddo,” “Llllleeegee.” She pronounced her name Tterrassa due to the stutter.

As the final paperwork was still being processed by Giacomo and the mayor, they changed it to Tterrassa so that when she said her name, it wouldn’t sound like she was stuttering.

Tterrassa was a shy, quiet member of the family, not that she could get a word in with Emilio and Mary talking all the time. She did sit quietly, learning the songs from listening near the church and the Ima Jally Aler.

She was also picked on by the locals due to her stuttering. Combined with the wobbling of Luigi and Guido, the three of them walking around town and Tterrassa humming was a major local attraction.

Since she was somewhat of a loner, she found that she had a knack for seeing unusual insects, birds, and reptiles. With this skill, Tterrassa did grow up to become a world leader in conjoined “things.”

When she finished her mandatory six years of school and many years of hunting and collecting unusual items, she opened a small museum and gift shop in an old abandoned slaughterhouse located near a local Pissaccotta intersection where two streams joined to make a swirling river.

The museum, appropriately called Alla Things Together, included snakes (at the tail and heads), burros (at their asses), bees (two stingers), muskrats (at their paws), kangaroos (two pouches), opossums (heads with three eyes), earthworms (four in their midsection—alive and all with opinions on which way to travel), and twenty more unique “things.”