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Chapter 3

Mary and Emilio meet

Since their Lada was broken and no money to fix it, Patric and Aideen decided to stay in Pissaccotta until enough money was found to repair it and move on with their show. Doing no research, Patric and Aideen soon discovered that Pissaccotta, the pork capital, had little taste for food without pork or at least cooked in pork grease. They looked for other ways to make money to fix the Lada.

They played their four nights at the Little Bitta Pissa Hall with the normal minimal success. Still not enough money to pay for the repairs, Patric found a job playing evenings in the local pub, Ima Jally Aler.

The locals loved his soft playing of the pipe whistle and fiddle with Italoirish songs he made up when patrons requested (and paid little money). Most were somewhat off color yet brought in more euros the raunchier they were. “I’ll Touzle Your Kurchy” was one of the hits of the evening, along with “The Cheating Lark of the Dirty Bastard,” “Touch Me If You Dare,” and “Cock O’ the North.”

With the patrons buying him drinks and nice tips, he was slowly bringing home (to the truck) enough to get it fixed.

Mary continued her dancing and opened a small dance studio in an empty Kosher deli that Irving and Sofie opened for a short time, hoping that Kosher food would catch on. They moved to the US to a place called the Villages where they heard any type of restaurant would be busy.

Mary did well with her twelve students of all ages considering she drew from the limited population that weren’t on walkers, in wheelchairs, or limping around. Money was slow as many residents couldn’t see any sense in learning how to dance a combination of the Neapolitan saltarello and Irish jig. Yet they came to get out of their houses, and it was an entertaining few hours out for small change.

Unknown to Mary, most met at Ima Jally Aler before going to her studio. Mary was convinced (not being overly streetwise) that they were just having a good time!

Emilio was walking by Mary’s studio on his way home from a two swine rub down and venting his sty smell when he heard the music. It was absolutely the finest, ear-pleasing mellow tones he had ever heard. Keep in mind that this is a man who rubs pigs.

As he slowed down to hear more of the music, he looked in the door and saw an angel blowing into a tube. Emilio had never seen any instrument outside of a wheezing accordion.

Was this love at first sight or simply an erotic event? He had to find out since he knew very little about eroticism! Through the door he went, lulled by the music and forgetting that he just came from a pigsty on a very warm day.

Fortunately for Emilio, Mary had a severe cold and couldn’t smell anything. She saw Emilio enter and, for the first time, felt a stirring.

The locals in Pissaccotta did not appeal to Mary as her father, Patric, warned her about men with greasy hair who were dressed in tight pants, open-fronted shirts, and zipper boots. He also told her that what she may consider a fascination with her music could be a nasty leer.

Emilio was different; in Mary’s eyes, he looked, well, natural. With him staring, she continued to play and instruct the seniors class on the simple moves of the dance she devised—the Neapo-Irish jigg—to keep them coming. She could not keep her eyes off this incredible man, even as she knew he did need a little help in the laundry department.

Emilio realized that participants were looking at him and holding their noses. Most knew him and his father, Piero, as their smells preceded them. They were tolerated, as the pork from Pissaccotta was getting a pretty good price at the area’s pork belly market.

Emilio, sensing that something good could come out of this, ran home and dove into the nearby stream to clean up. Borrowing his father’s fine clothes, he ran back to the dance studio where Mary was just finishing.