Читать книгу Into the Sun - Takalani M - Страница 14

GUNDO

That was damn close. That was fucking close.

I call the elevator to take me to the parking lot. It arrives and I get in, but instead of pressing ‘P’ for Parking, I rush back out to the corridor and all the way back to her room.

I knock a few times. No answer.

‘Thandeka, please open for me,’ I whisper, careful not to disturb the other guests. ‘Thandeka?’

I am shattered when she doesn’t open. She must have dozed off. She finished the whole bottle of wine all by herself. No wonder she fell asleep so quickly.

I wanted to apologise again. I shouldn’t have kissed and gone that far while she was tipsy. She was right to stop me. I just hope she doesn’t think I was taking advantage of her.

There’s nothing more I can do now. Let me rather go home. Tomorrow afternoon I’ll have a chance to apologise and explain. I just pray she doesn’t change her mind about our movie date. I want to make it special.

* * *

I wake up to a quiet house. Ciara is at her mother’s this weekend and my housekeeper is hardly here on weekends.

Thandeka has been invading my thoughts since we parted ways last night. My worry is she might think I am a pervert for going so wild on her. I was damn turned on. It hurt so much to walk away just like that.

Breakfast!

Ciara usually demands pancakes on Saturdays. But since she is not here, I make a breakfast shake instead before I call Thandeka. When last did I feel like this? My heart leaps whenever I have to talk to her.

‘Morning,’ she says, her voice so sweet.

‘How did you sleep?’

‘Like a baby.’

‘I figured. I went back to knock on your door but you had already dozed off.’

‘Really?’ she laughs. ‘I heard your knock but thought I was just dreaming.’ What else did she dream about when I left? Did I invade her thoughts like she did mine?

‘Our movie starts at twelve-thirty. Pick you up at eleven o’clock?’

‘You were serious about the movie?’

‘I already booked us seats.’

‘Okay, eleven o’clock it is then.’

I am all smiles when I hang up the phone. This is fucking crazy! Since when do I get this excited over a movie date? How many girls have I taken to the movies over the years? Countless. But for some reason, Thandeka feels like the very first one. I feel like a damn lovesick teenager.

I head to the living room and switch on the television, letting it play softly while I think up ideas to keep Thandeka in Joburg. If she leaves, I am doomed.

She doesn’t want to take her old job back. She doesn’t want to be our au pair. She doesn’t want me to get her a flat. Isn’t it crazy that nothing can keep her here?

An advert flashes on the TV screen. It is about a college in Rosebank. I pick up the remote from the table and rewind.

‘Registrations are still open. Book your space now before it is too late,’ a young lady says on the screen.

Yes! I hope this one works. This might convince her to stay and then there will be a chance for us to give this a try and have a relationship!

It is a few minutes before eleven. I grab my car keys and happily drive to Melrose to pick Thandeka up. I text her to let her know that I am parked just outside the hotel.

The hotel room is booked until tomorrow. And then what? What can be done about her situation? I don’t want her to go back to that flat ever again. The next time she does, it will be to pick up the rest of her stuff.

Men walking around shirtless in boxers only? She can’t go back there.

I watch as Thandeka walks out of the glass doors and looks around for the car. She sees me and rushes over. She is wearing a tight pair of blue jeans and a blouse, with a pair of pink sandals. I am drooling over her.

It hits me. I am in love, definitely!

‘Hi,’ she greets after jumping into the car.

I wish I could drop a kiss on her lips, but I’ll keep my distance for now. Especially after last night! I push the urge away and put my bravest face on.

‘We are about to break your virginity, are you ready?’ I announce.

She stares at me with her eyebrows raised.

‘I mean your cinema virginity? First time ever?’ I swear under my breath. I have succeeded, so many times, in making myself look like a goddamn fool in front of this woman.

‘Ohhh, yes,’ she responds and laughs, making me feel better about myself.

But wait, what did she think at first? Her mind is as wild as mine!

I drive us to the mall in silence. Neither one of us wants to talk about last night. It was steaming hot. I would love to continue where we left off, any day, anytime.

I’m glad that this date is during the day – no alcohol involved. If things get steamy again, I’ll have no worries that it is just the wine doing its thing.

I collect the tickets at the self-service booth and get us snacks before leading the way into the cinema.

‘Here are our seats.’

I got us a love nest so that there is no barrier between us. I want her to lean on my shoulder while she watches the movie. I want her to rest her leg on my thigh if she wants to. I want her to just have fun with me.

I want her.

‘What is the movie we are watching?’

‘The Hate U Give,’ I say and she nods. It is based on a teen novel by some young girl from America. I saw the reviews and liked them. Initially I was looking for a romantic movie, but there seemed to be none showing. This was the next best option. There was no way I was cancelling our date. I also knew not to pick one of my usual movie choices; I don’t think she’d like an action movie with lots of shooting and car chases.

What did I say about the love nest? We are in the middle of the movie and she sometimes rests her head on my shoulder. This is such a sad film. It gets under your skin when this young girl fights for what she believes in. It is youthful, not really my cup of tea, but the point is for Thandeka to enjoy it.

I sneak a peek at her face. Clearly Thandeka is loving the movie.

All I see is Ciara in this young girl’s character, Starr. Ciara is going to be an activist somewhere in life when she grows up. I can just tell by the way she debates and tries to get her point heard. I see myself in Starr’s father. A man that raised his children to believe in their voice. That is just me.

‘This is a beautiful movie,’ she comments, sniffing. She is a crier! I don’t blame her. This movie triggers all emotions. It gives one goosebumps at times.

I am not enjoying the movie as such; I am enjoying watching her and feeling her next to me. By the time the credits roll, she has laughed and cried and laughed and cried again.

A point for me.

‘You are such a crybaby,’ I tease while leading the way to Cape Town Fish Market for lunch.

‘That was just an interesting movie.’ She looks up at me and slides her fingers into my hand. Without looking at her, I lock my fingers with hers. It feels right. It feels natural. We don’t drop our eyes to our hands – we just swing our hands slightly as we cross the floor to the restaurant. The waiter leads us to a cosy corner table.

‘Thank you for breaking my movie virginity.’

‘It was only my pleasure,’ I say and laugh.

We order food and the waiter brings it a few minutes later. We are drinking cappuccinos and strawberry-flavoured sparkling water instead of wine.

‘This is nice,’ she says after taking a sip of the water. ‘Do you know I have actually never had sparkling water?’ She flips her tongue and licks her bottom lip. I clear my throat before moving my eyes back to hers. She gives me a weak smile and says, ‘I am going to Venda next week. I thought about it last night.’

My world is shattered. What does she mean that she is going to Venda next week? I need her here.

‘Haven’t you decided on any of the options I gave you?’ I ask.

‘I don’t want to be a nuisance. I cannot stay in your home. I cannot even let you pay for an apartment, Gundo. I do not want Ms Diana to fight with me.’

‘What …’

Before I can finish my sentence, she raises her hand and quickly says, ‘I will grow my egg business. I saw this advert seeking sales representatives for farm eggs in Venda. I was thinking I might try it out. Maybe I can even supply them with my own eggs. Also, Thulani said that your father’s restaurants are ordering from us.’

I wasn’t prepared for this. I don’t want her to go.

‘Uhm … look … my company is awarding bursaries to five successful students to register at any college around Johannesburg this year,’ I say. The lie comes out smoother than I thought. I just hope that I am convincing enough. ‘Why don’t you try it out?’

She shakes her head. ‘No, Gundo, you’ve done more than enough.’

‘Okay, you know what?’ I take a deep breath. ‘Let me be honest with you. I don’t want you to leave for Venda because then I will not see you again. I am falling deeply in love with you and I don’t want you to leave. Why don’t you stay? I will do anything and everything to help you find your feet.’

She stares at me.

‘Your family …’

‘What about my family?’

‘Ms Diana.’

‘Diana is my ex-wife. She is not my family anymore,’ I say.

‘She is your ex-wife?’

‘Yes.’

‘But … you have a daughter together. And for your daughter’s sake you should be together … Diana wants you to be a family.’

What? Where is she getting all of this? I run my hands over my head and let out a breath. ‘Listen, it is definitely better for Ciara that Diana and I divorced. We are not in love. I don’t love Diana. And Diana is not my family. Diana rejected the idea of us as a family when she rejected my son. I will never get back together with that woman. Never.’ Is it why she stopped us from making out yesterday? Diana?

‘I thought …’

‘No! Did you think I was just playing with you while I wanted to build a family with Diana?’ I say. ‘I wouldn’t be here if that were the case. Come on, I am nothing like my brother.’

‘Oh, wow,’ she says and covers her face. When she pulls her hands away, I can see that she is blushing.

‘I want you,’ I say. I take her hand and caress it.

‘Why?’ her question comes out in a whisper.

‘You are so humble. You touched my heart the very second I met you. You are always on my damn mind. I want to be the one to heal your pain. I want you to help me heal my pain.’

She lets out a weak smile. ‘Can you drive me back to the hotel?’ she quietly asks.

What?

‘Did I say something wrong?’

‘No. I just want us to go.’

I am disappointed. So disappointed to cut our date short. I call the waiter to settle the bill. In silence, I drive us back to the Hotel Fire & Ice. She doesn’t look at me or say anything.

Am I losing her?

‘Thandeka, I don’t know what you want me to do to show you how serious I am about you. I really don’t know.’ This is getting frustrating. Everything I do seems not to be good enough. Why can’t she just let me into her heart? Why?

She stares out of the window as I park the car next to the hotel. I wish I knew what to do or say to make her listen to me and take me seriously. I want her goddamn heart. Doesn’t she see this?

‘Let’s go in,’ she says while unbuckling the seatbelt.

‘Who? Me?’ I ask. Dammit! Didn’t I just sound like an idiot again? She nods and jumps out of the car. I follow behind her with the takeaway boxes. We didn’t eat much.

We get into the elevator and stare at each other. The more I gaze at her, the more I want her.

I want this woman. I want her so bad.

She leads the way to the room and unlocks the door, with me behind her. We walk into a freshly cleaned room. She throws her bag on the floor and stands by the window.

‘Are you okay?’ I ask.

‘I am fine.’

‘What is wrong?’

‘Do you really love me the way you say you do?’ Her voice is cracking.

‘I do,’ I quickly respond.

‘I have been falling in love with you since the day we met. I was afraid to let you know because I thought you would use me. You know, I thought you were Rudzani. Then, after that, I thought you’d be happier with Diana and your daughter.’

‘Diana does not make me happy. We’ve tried before and it didn’t work. Trying again will only hurt my daughter because it will always end up a mess.’ I hope what I’m saying is sinking in.

‘What if I stay and you break my heart?’

‘I won’t.’

‘What if I give you my heart and you find that I am not actually the woman that you are looking for?’

‘That won’t happen.’ This feels like an interview, but I’ll answer whatever she asks me truthfully.

I walk towards where she is standing. She stays still, with her hands folded over her chest.

‘You drive me so crazy,’ I murmur.

She uncrosses her arms and places trembling palms on my chest. Her eye close. I watch her. I watch as she swallows hard, as if she has just finished a silent prayer.

‘Please promise me that you won’t hurt me,’ she whispers. ‘I’ve been hurt before.’

‘I promise.’ I do promise. I mean it. And I promise to keep my promise.

And then I can no longer keep my lips off hers. I feel their delicious softness. Damn, I have been praying for this for so long. She keeps her hands on my chest and receives the kiss. I pull her body close to mine and continue to kiss her sweet lips.

I am finally tasting these lips again – it feels so surreal. She breaks the kiss before opening her eyes and gazing at me. Passion and lust dance in her eyes.

Time stops.

* * *

THANDEKA

Oh! Was it just a dream? If it was, then may I continue to sleep so that I don’t wake up from it yet. It was a sweet, sweet dream. I dreamt of Gundo and I sealing an agreement to act on our feelings for each other. In my dream, we made out almost to the point of no return. We ordered a bottle of wine from room service and drank it while talking about everything. Then we ordered two more bottles. What a beautiful dream.

Suddenly warm hands wrap around me and pull me backwards. My eyes snap open and my gaze lands on the closed curtains.

‘Gundo?’

‘Good morning,’ he says, and I turn to face him. It was not a dream. He is lying here next to me, smiling. I turn back to the window and slide closer to him. He is not wearing a shirt so the closer I move to him, the more I feel his body heat on my skin. I look down at my sleeping shirt. I might have been drunk when we decided to go to bed because this is one of my ugliest sleepshirts, ever.

‘I thought I was dreaming,’ I murmur. He tightens his arms around me, something poking the small of my back. That makes me blush – but I stay put.

‘It feels like a dream. It does.’

I turn to face him. He beams at me. No matter how much I try to make sense of his love for me, I don’t understand it.

‘Why me?’

‘Stop doubting how perfect you are.’

‘The thing is, our lifestyles are so different.’

‘It is you I want to be with,’ he says while poking my chest with his finger. ‘I don’t care what class you are; as long as you have the heart you have, I will love you.’

‘But … I am …’

‘I am not going to change anything about you.’

‘That’s good to hear.’ Even though it is hard to believe.

‘We have to check out at ten, what time is it?’ He reaches for his phone under the pillow. ‘Eight-thirty. We have an hour and a half.’

‘I don’t want to go.’

‘I can book for more days.’

‘No, no, no,’ I quickly say. He has already done more than enough. I bet he would have to pay an arm and a leg for just one night at this hotel. Thank God for the voucher he had.

‘You cannot go back there,’ he says.

I laugh and say, ‘But you said you are not going to change me.’

‘That place is not safe. I had to watch my back when walking around the corridors,’ he says. He is right. I had wanted to move out since the first day I moved in there.

‘Fine, I will move out when I get another place.’

‘But I did say I can get a flat for you.’

I could jump at this opportunity and let him rent a flat for me, but that would be wrong. What would people say? She got a well-off boyfriend to pay for her bills. That is the last thing I want.

‘I’ll take my job back and look for another apartment. I need the money and now that I know you are never getting back with Ms Diana, I think I can handle her.’ Dating your boss is not ideal, I suppose, but at least this will be a real relationship, not some fling or an affair. In the meantime, I’ll start looking for other employment too. ‘All I need to do is to go to Venda for a few days, and I will figure out everything when I come back.’

‘Why don’t I go with you?’

‘You have work. Come on, I promise to come back.’

‘Only if you promise.’