Читать книгу There is always the sun behind the clouds. Living happily - Tatiana Grafova - Страница 6

If you are at home now, come up to the mirror.

Look yourself in the eyes, smile and say to your own reflection: “You are so pretty, clever, kind … (I don’t have to tell you about yourself. You know your own strong points and what a wonderful person you really are much better than anybody else).

I love you and accept you the way you are.

You deserve happiness and all the very best in life”.

But I must warn you: It may not work the first time.

I, too, found it a difficult thing to do at first.

Why so?

The answer is very simple.

It is because some of us have forgotten (or perhaps have never learnt) what it means to love ourselves.

But we are going to talk about that a little later in the book.

No matter where you are at the moment,

Even if you are in an overcrowded metro train during the peak of the rush hour,

Balancing on one foot and holding on to the rail with one hand and clutching this book in the other, all the same, smile!

Smile to yourself, smile at yourself and at the people around you.

I can hear some of you saying, “What is she talking about?! Is she crazy?

I will look like an idiot!”

Don’t think about what others might think of you.

Do you really care about what others might think of you?

We are now talking about you and your own happiness!

But if you still feel a little doubtful, I’ll tell you about one episode from my life.

An episode from my life

It happened a long time ago, when I was a University student.

Imagine a nasty day.

It has been raining non-stop since early morning and it is still drizzling with rain.

My mood is just as gloomy and hopeless as the weather.

I get off the bus into the grey joyless mist.

I make several steps forward.

Out of the corner of my eye I can see my bus slowly starting to move …

It is catching up with me and is about to pass me by when…

For reasons beyond my knowledge or understanding I raise my head … and meet the eyes of the bus-driver.

He is a handsome young fellow, a total stranger.

I see him for the first time in my life.

And he is smiling at me.

Suddenly and unexpectedly …

I can’t really explain why or how…

I return his smile and …

A miracle happens!

All of a sudden I feel absolutely and unconditionally happy.

My morning sadness and depression have both vanished into the thin rainy air.

They are gone with the wind.

I square my shoulders and raise my chin.

I feel beautiful and cloudlessly happy.

I never met this bus-driver again.

I don’t even clearly remember his face.

But there is something I remember perfectly well up to the present day:

It is the amazing feeling of total bliss that I felt when he smiled at me and I smiled back at him.

As simple as that!

Just one smile – as a gift from heaven.

A stranger’s smile and my smile in return.

And on the nastiest day of the year there was bright sun shining in my heart.

I was in a very good mood the whole of that day.

I felt as if I had suddenly grown wings and could fly.

It was almost like walking on air.

Whatever I did, went smoothly and perfectly.

Many years have passed since that day.

But even now when I feel sad, I go back in time and recollect that smile.

As a very special gift from the past.

And what is even more important – I can see it in my mind’s eye.

I can relive in my heart the feeling of happiness that I experienced at that moment.

And this nice and warm feeling comes back to me again.

On that cloudy and nasty day I understood and felt from the very bottom of my heart what people mean when they talk about the magic of a smile.

Since that unforgettable day these words are no longer simply a figure of speech for me.

Not just words with no meaning behind them.

They are a reminder of a miracle.

A memory that is always with me and has become part of my soul, as my secret token of good luck.

The song sung by a well-known Russian actress Ludmila Gurchenko in the film “The Carnival” has the following words:

If you leave home with a frown on your face,

If the sunny day doesn’t make you happy,

Let a total stranger smile at you as if you were his friend.

And then a smile will lighten up your eyes.

And your good mood will stay with you for the rest of the day.

A smile can perform miracles!

This is the truth.

Pure truth.

Nothing but the truth.

I know it from my own experience.

Sometimes it lasts but one moment but the memory of it may stay with you forever.

An obvious conclusion arises from this:

Try to smile more often.

Don’t be afraid of looking silly.

Your smile can change a lot of things for the better.

It will bring light and joy into your own life and into the lives of the people around you.

There is no doubt about it!

Trust me, I know what I’m talking about.

Even if you are not a born altruist or a Good Samaritan at heart, you have to understand one simple thing:

It is in your own selfish – in the good sense of the word – interests:

A smile brings out the best in a woman.

It improves her looks better that the most expensive make-up.

It immediately makes her look a lot younger and much-much more attractive.

Don’t worry about a few extra mimicry wrinkles!

It has long been tested and proven:

What really ages a woman and spoils her good looks is her negative emotions,

a gloomy, unhappy and dissatisfied face.

I try never to forget the words of a magic fairy from the film “Cinderella”:

We, fairies, are such delicate creatures that sadness ages us,

whereas joy makes us look younger.

This is true not only about fairies but also about women in general.

If you are not used to smiling, start learning right now!

Don’t put it off till tomorrow.

Practise in front of a mirror.

Learn to smile sincerely and openly, to smile from your very heart.

It is useless just to spread your lips in a poor imitation of a smile.

Learn to smile not only with your lips but also with your eyes.

When you smile, your eyes should shine and radiate light!

Don’t forget that our eyes are the windows of our soul.

Like any other skill, smiling requires practice. Fortunately, there should be no problem with that. Anybody can serve as a “guiney-pig”:

• your boss and colleagues

• your family and friends

• strangers in the street

• shop-assistants in a supermarket

• or fellow-passengers in public transport.

Try and you will make it!

It’s not difficult at all!

And very soon you’ll see the results.

If you are used to wearing a serious, gloomy or worried look on your face, if it has become a habit, an inalienable part of your character and your life style, almost your second nature, if you find it difficult to start giving smiles right and left, remember the happiest day of your life, or simply a nice funny episode.

Try to relive it again in your mind’s eye and smile!

This may become your first step on the road to happiness.

One more episode from my life

I remember my first trip to Paris.

I had been dreaming about it for years.

It was April. The chestnut trees were in full blossom.…

I was walking the streets, looking right and left … with every cell of my body inhaling the fascinating and intoxicating air of this wonderful city… and feeling on top of the world from sheer joy.

I was brimming with happiness!

And at some point I realized that I was walking along the street with a broad smile on my face, as they say, “a big smile – from ear to ear”.

But I was feeling so good that I simply couldn’t and, for that matter, didn’t want to restrain myself and hide a smile. And I didn’t care about what others might think of me.

I didn’t need any special reasons or permissions to smile and feel happy.

Despite everything and against all possible rules and conventions!

If you want to learn to smile again, let me give you a piece of friendly advice.

Try to remember the time when you were in love.

Imagine you are walking along the street or across the park … and all of a sudden you remember HIM.

A happy smile appears on your face.

It happens quite naturally, of its own accord.

You simply can’t help yourself because you are filled with joy, and it spills over – in the form of a smile.

And what’s even more important – remember the feeling of boundless happiness that you experienced at that moment.

Emotional memory is known to be the strongest and most lasting kind of memory, at least with us, women.

You can forget many details of some episode in your life.

But not your emotional state, if this episode was emotionally charged, if it involved strong feelings.

Try to remember that blissful state of being in love and to experience it again.

And then you will smile very easily, without any special effort on your part.

And you will feel so much better – as if a burden has been lifted off your shoulders, setting your soul free.

By the way, the Chinese believe that one should smile at everybody.

Even when you pick up the phone to answer a call or to give somebody a call.

They are absolutely convinced: the person on the other end of the line is sure to feel your smile and his soul is bound to react to it.

If you have doubts, try and test it yourself.

Moreover, make it a rule:

Even if the people around refuse to smile at you, show your generosity of heart and give them your smile.

In fact, it is those who don’t know how to smile themselves, who need other people’s smiles more desperately than anybody else.

Be generous in giving your smiles.

It doesn’t cost you anything.

But it does both yourself and others a world of good.

Well, here we are coming to …

The first commandment of a happy woman:

Smile as often as possible.

Smile both at friends and strangers, at yourself and at the world around you.

And then the world is sure to smile back at you and bring you most unexpected and pleasant surprises.