Читать книгу The Interpersonal Communication Playbook - Teri Kwal Gamble - Страница 133

When we assume that situations and people stay the way they are, always, we make frozen evaluations. “Once a thief,” we reason, “always a thief.” Such statements fail to acknowledge that people can change. If our perception does not permit us to be flexible, but freezes our judgment instead, then we fail in perceiving the constant change that characterizes all of us.

To avoid making such fallacious perceptions, we should attach a date to every perception we acknowledge. Doing so will also help prevent us from clinging to our first impressions. Maintaining an open mind should be a goal if we are to develop more valid assessments of experience. For example, consider the following initial impression and subsequent reevaluation of perception:

For years I had seen octopuses as terrible, evil creatures that were intent on grabbing swimmers with their tentacles and dragging them under water to be crushed and drowned. Now I perceive them as being gentle, inoffensive, intelligent creatures, who enjoy playful contacts with swimmers.

Probably I have changed my perceptions of octopuses because of changes in the filters of past experience and mind-set. My early experiences were reading horror stories and seeing horror movies. . . . I wanted to believe the horrible stories were true because that enhanced my enjoyment. Later experiences were seeing undersea documentaries by Cousteau. . . . My mind-set now is that I respect what scientists tell me. . . . I saw a movie of one of Cousteau’s divers doing a little battle dance with an octopus. . . . I saw the octopus and the diver embrace affectionately.⁴⁵

Has an instructor ever made a snap judgment about you?

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Can you think of an experience in your life that led you to form an initial impression that you subsequently changed? How challenging is it for you to reevaluate a first impression?