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Chapter 10

Eventually, we moved back home and ended up living with my parents, and he couldn’t get his old job back only because they were on a hiring freeze, so we had to wait for another opening some were else.

In the meantime, I found a waitressing job down the street and started having sex with my manager. I wasn’t even attracted to him. This went on for a while, though. The worst thing I ever did, which I am ashamed of to this day, was one night, my husband and I were at the bar drinking together on my night off. My manager asked if he could talk to me about my schedule, and my husband thought nothing of it. I followed him downstairs, and we had sex on the floor. When I came back up, I didn’t realize I had dust all over the butt of my jeans. Everyone noticed but him; another waitress pulled me aside to tell me. I was humiliated I would do that to him. I had never been sober when I did cheat on him, which was no excuse, but I was always really drunk.

Eventually, he got an opportunity to take a job in either Omaha, Nebraska, or San Diego, California, and again gave me the choice. Obviously, I picked California over Omaha. That was a no-brainer, but it ended up being the biggest mistake of our marriage which shortly ended after about a year of being there.

Drugs ended up coming on the scene shortly after we moved there. We did indulge once in a while in cocaine in the beginning of our relationship, but it wasn’t often. I don’t remember it happening much in Arizona, though, when we lived there. If we did, it was maybe only a couple times, but we did drink every day; it wasn’t out of control, though, yet.

In San Diego, though, the drinking got worse. He got a couple DUIs and found meth was everywhere, something we hadn’t even heard of until we moved there and everyone in our apartment complex did it or sold it.

Eventually my husband became a daily victim of it. Something I didn’t like at all. He was rarely home after work, he started losing a lot of work and eventually lost his job. I didn’t suspect cheating, although I’m not sure, but at that point, I really didn’t care.

One weekend, I decided to drive to Phoenix to visit some friends. He didn’t have a problem with it, and I don’t think I knew at then it would be the end of our marriage. After a week of being there, it was only supposed to be a few days, he called to ask me when I was coming home, and the most difficult thing I ever had to do was tell him I wasn’t.

He wasn’t the type to show emotion and he didn’t beg me to come back, but to this day I wish he had, and I probably would have gone back, even though I didn’t want to at the time.

I do believe, though, if I would have told him we needed to move again to save our marriage, I was positive he would have agreed, especially because it was so easy for him to relocate wherever there was an opening. But at that point, I just wanted a different life that ended up being a huge mistake and over twenty-five years of a really out-control lifestyle which consisted of a lot of criminal activity, alcohol and drug abuse, a life which now I believe that Satan got ahold of me. Besides the adultery that was really the only major sin I had committed until then, I had ended up committing very single sin against God except murder and was defiantly not going to be allowed in the kingdom of heaven.

I turned to a life of deceit, stealing, backstabbing, abuse in which I was the abuser, lying, scheming, and eventually prostitution. I had four more marriages and divorces. You name it, I probably did it.