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1. Ukuqingqa kwam

Ukuqingqa kwam

Ndazalelwa ndakhulela kwisithili saseNgcobo, enye yeedolophana zaseMpuma Koloni. INgcobo ke le sisixekwana esingqongwe ziilali ezininzi kumhlaba wamaQwathi, kwiphandle elalisakubizwa njengeTranskei ngexesha lobandlululo. Ilali yam yiMadladleni, kwesikaNgubelanga. Ndikhulele apho ke ndiyinkwenkwana ebetha ngezikaTshiwo nenebhongo kakhulu ngokwalusa imfuyo kayise. Ubusakundibona nabahlobo bam sintyontya amakhwelo phezu kwentlambo zomlambo omkhulu uMgwali, sisitya amagontsi nemiqokolo. Ndikhuliswe kule ndawo intle kangakanana ndisazi ukuba umhambi ngumhlobo ongekadibani naye. Sikwakhuliswe ukuba simenzele izibele umhambi, njengoko nentetho yabadala isithi, “Isisu somhambi sincinane, singangentso yentaka.”

Ubomi bethu ke babunzinyana eMadladleni, kodwa sasikhuthazwa ukuba sifunde ukuze sikwazi ukuyiphucula le lali. Ngoko ke abazali bethu babenamaphupha amahle ngathi – besibona siphumelela ebomini. Ke abam abazali babendikhuthaza ngokundixhelela igusha nyaka ngamnye xa ndithe ndaphumelela ibanga esikolweni. Bekusithi ke xa ndiphumelele emagqabini bandithengele izihlangu ezitsha, nditsho ndifumane nokutendwa ngokuthi ndithunyelwe eholideyini kwamakhulu wam uMamfene eChefane. Kumaxesha anje ke yayiba libhaso eliphindwe kubini eli kuba umakhulu yena ebesakundixhelela etyetyisiweyo yona igusha le, exhelela umzukulwana wakhe okrelekrele.

Ekhaya ke sasilusapho olunothando nolumanyeneyo, yaye sasineqhayiya ngokuncinane esasinako, singavumi ukuzithatha njengosapho oluhlelelekileyo. Umzi wakuthi ubulikhaya lamakholwa utata engumvangeli waseWesile kwi-United Methodist Church of Southern Africa – ibandla lamaWesile aManyeneyo loMazantsi Afrika. Ebesaziwa, ethandwa kwaye engumshumayeli onesidima nohlonitshiweyo. UMabhlangwe ke yena, umama, ebengunobhatyi owathi ngenxa yokuzinikela nokuthembeka enkonzweni, wenziwa unondyebo wesekethe. Enyanisweni wena, abazali bam bekunye nomakhulu babengabantu abalungileyo ekuhlaleni nasenkonzweni. Zalelwa kumzi onje ke uza kuwuva umthwalo emagxeni xa ukhula! Noxa nje ukhona wona umvuzo, umthwalo uhlala ukhona, kunjalo nje umkhulu. Abazali bethu babengakholelwa ekusinyanzeleni ukuba siye ecaweni, bekholelwa ekubeni siya kuthi xa sithe sahlabeka siwazi apho ungakhona umnyango wecawe. Nakubeni kunjalo ke kwakulindeleke ukuba siziphathe kakuhle, sikhule sibe ngamalungu okuhlala azixabisileyo, silandele nasekhondweni labo. Lo mthwalo ke ubuthe chatha apha kum, kuba ndiyinkulu. Usapho lwethu lwaluhleli lunethemba lokuba mna nabantakwethu ababini, uChuma noMandisi, sakukhula senze ngcono kunotata wethu, mhlawumbi side sibe ngabefundisi. Umzali nomzali ke phofu uhlala enqwenela ukuba abantwana bakhe bantinge baye phezulu, oku kokhozi. Nalapha ekhaya ke bekunjalo. Nangoku ndisakhumbula abantu ngabantu ababede bayipkhuphe ngemilomo yabo iminqweno yabo. Babekho ababesaya kundixelela ukuba kufuneka ndifunde ndibe ngutitshala, umntu owayexabiseke kakhulu ke lowo elalini yam. Ndandisakuncuma olugoso ke xa kusitshiwo, sendizibona ndithe ntshi iqhina elimnyama thsu, nesuti emhlophe qhwa! Lilonke wena bekulindelwe lukhulu kum, njengoko usazi xa ungunyana wokuqala ekhayeni, de uqwele ngokuba uye kuvela emnyangweni wesikolo.

Ndingumceph’ucandiwe ke nalo mhlekazi ungutata, nto leyo yayisenza ukuba abantu bahlale bendithelekisa naye mihla le. Into ababengayazi ke kukuba lo mthwalo babendithwalisa wona wawundenza ndizive ndikhonkxekile, ndifuthaniselekile. Ndandizifumana ndibekwe idyokhwe enzima emagxeni am, idyokhwe etyabulayo. Ndandihlala ndizixelela ukuba abantu bafanele bandithathe ngokobuni bam, bangandithathi njengesetyana labazali bam. Mandinikwe eyam idyokhwe, hayi eyabazali! Ngenxa yolu mthwalo ke, urheme lo undim wayengayinanze kangako icawa, noxa nje ephuma kwikhaya elingqiyame kakhulu ngecawa. Andisayi kubagxeka ke abazali bam, babesikhulisa ngobuchule, ngengqeqesho nangengqiqo, besibonisa umzila emasiwulandele ngaphandle kokusinyanzela. Babehlala besifundisa ukubaluleka komthandazo nokuthemba uThixo, kodwa mna ngelo xesha umthandazo ndandingawuboneli ntweni ndingawunanzanga kakhulu. Eyokuba umthandazo lunxibelelwano olunzulu noThixo, uMdali wethu, ndandingacingi nokucinga ngayo.

Ndandingomnye waba bantu bathandaza kuphela nje xa bezibona besengxakini, bengayazi into amabayenze. Ndandisithi ke nje ukuba ndibe kude nabazali, ndipetsule ndigeze. Kaloku ebesakwenza njalo onke amakhwenkwana antanga-nye nam. Mna ndedwa ke ndandikhetha ukuya ethaleni ndiye kwalusa imfuyo yakuthi ngomhla wecawa. Ekuphela kweenkonzo endandisiya kuzo zezasebusuku, njengoko uqonda ke mfundi – oyena nobangela yayikukuya ezintombini, hayi enkonzweni. Iinkonzo ezazidume ngeemvuselelo zasebusuku yayiziinkonzo zamaZayoni, apho lalisitsho igubu kunge kuza kugqabhuka isifuba. Ke thina besisakuma ngasemnyango sijonge abaphumayo nabangenayo. Kwakukho nenkonzo yamaPostile aseSt. John’s, apho sasiye sibukele amaPostile engqungqa kuhle ngaloo mixwayo yawo iluhlaza ngokwesibhakabhaka. Kwakuphinda ke kubekhona iinkonzo zosindiso ezazingenela kwimizi eyahlukeneyo. Zonke ke ezi mvaba zaziba neemvuselelo zasebusuku qho ngeMigqibelo nangooLwesihlanu. Ubusakusibona ke singqunga sikhangela into esingayaziyo kude kufutshane. Nazo ke iinkonzo endandizihamba. Phofu nale yakuthi inkonzo ibibanazo iimvuselel zasebusuku kodwa ndandingasondeli nokusondela kuyo kuba kaloku abazali bam babesengandibhaqa kwezo zinto zokukroba ngeefestile. Ngoko ke kuyinyaniso ukuthi inkolo yobuKrestu ndandiyazi, ndiyiqonda kodwa ndandingakholelwa kuyo.

Ndathi ke ndakuphumelela ibanga lesixhenxe kwisikolo saseSikhobeni, ndasityeshela iSikhoba, ndaya kufunda kwisikolo samabanga aphakamileyo, iManzana. Unyaka yayingu-1992. IManzana yayikwakummmandla waseNgcobo, kodwa ithe tyishi noko eMadlaleni. Kulapho ke ndafika ndakhetha izifundo zeMaths nePhysical Science, ndalandela ikhondo lobunzululwazi, ndinyeke ukuphumeza iphupha lam lokuba ngenye imini ndibe ngugqirha ovunyiweyo, ndinyange isizwe. Njengoko besenditshilo ke mlesi, bezimbalwa kakhulu izifundiswa kumhlaba waseNgcobo kwaye ebembalwa amakhondo emfundo esiwaziyo. Besisazi oogqirha, oonesi nootitshala kuphela.

Ngexesha lam esinaleni kuManzana ndandihlala kwimizi eqeshisayo ekwakuhlala kuyo abafundi abangamakhwenkwe, ingakumbi abo bakusuka kwiindawo ezikude nesikolo. Sasisithi ukuyibiza le mizi kusemagxamesini. Kulapha ke apho ndafunda ukuzimela de ndafunda nemikhutyanyana enganqwenelekiyo. Ndandineminyaka elishumi elinesihlanu, ndingugqada-mbekweni wengqithana emfutshane, ethetha kume ngayo phakathi kwabanye abafundi. Ndandikwanesipho soburharha, ndiliqhula elaziwayo kuManzana. Oku ke kwandenza ndaba ngumntu odumileyo, edume ngezizathu ezahlukeneyo.

Kaloku emva ekhaya ndandingumntu apha onamaqhingana angephi, ndiwafihla ke noko. Umzekelo, ndandiye ndinyebelezele ngobusuku ndisiya emitshotshweni nasemidudweni nakwezi nonkonzo sendizichazile. Ndingabonwa tu ngabazali. Kaloku abazali bam, de agqithisele umama yena, babengqingqwa kakhulu, bengafuni nokuva ngale midudo yasebusuku. Iqhinga lam yayikukuzenza owozelayo malanga. Ndandiye ndibe liyosi-yosi ngakumbi xa ziya kweyesixhenxe intsimbi, ndingene ezingubeni kwangoko ndaziwe njengoleleyo. Ndandiye ke ndithi xa bonke belele yoyi, ndivuke ndithi qwa, ndichwechwe ukuya esiyolweni. Ndandisakubuya ngentseni ke apho, bathi bevuka ndibe sendimaxhaphetshu ndizenza lowo ococa indlu yakhe ndibetha umlozi kungekho nobonayo ukuba khange ndibuthi chwe. Ndiyazi ke mfundi ukuba nawe uyayazi le nto ndithetha ngayo.

Kanti ke esinaleni phaya babembalwa kakhulu abantu abayaziyo imvelaphi yam, ngoko ke ndandisazi ukuba kwanto eyenzeka esinaleni iza kuphelela esinaleni, abazali bam soze beve nto ngayo. Ngenxa yolwimi lwam olubetha ngokukhawuleza, nangenxa yoburharha bam, namaqhinga kadyakalashe endandikhule nawo, ndikhawuleze ndaba nentaphane yabahlobo, ndathandwa kakhulu naziintombi ezi. Ndaqala ke apho ndamana ndisiba nalapha ecubeni nasetywaleni. Enyanisweni ayemaninzi amakhwenkwe ayekule ntanga yam ayesenza izinto ezazinokuhlasimlisa abazali bawo. Nam ndadludla nawo, inkululeko yokuba kude nekhaya ndayisebenzisa – kakubi. Ndandikwazi okulindelwe ngabazali bam kum kodwa ndandizimisele ukuphikisana nayo yonke into esondele kwebabendifundise yona. Ndikhe ndangqubana amatyeli ngamatyeli nawo nomthetho wesikolo. Ndikhumbula mhla ndathi ndabizelwa kwi-ofisi yenqununu emva kokuba sibhaqwe sitshaya eli labaThwa. Sayalelwa ukuba masize nabazali, lixoxwe ityala lethu bekhona. Ucinga ukuba ndababiza abam? Utsho phantsi! Ndacela xhego lithile embarheni kwaphaya elalini yakuManzana ukuba libe “nguutata wam”. Ndambuyekeza ngesenzo sakhe ngezikali ezibini umnt’omkhulu. Kwathi kanti eli xhego liyingcungela apha emaqhingeni kuba ngomhla wetyala lazenza umntu olugcwabevu ngumsindo, lindifun’apha ngegwangqa, de ndanqandelwa kwangootitshala aba, besithi “utata” makangandohlwayi kakubi olo hlobo. Into ehlekisayo endibona ukuba ootitshala zange bayiqaphele kukuba le ndedeba yayimana ukuliphazama igama lam ithi, “Thembinkosi, Thembalethu! Ufuna ndikwayame ngale nduku?” Ndandisakucela uxolo ke exhegweni, ndithembise izulu nomhlaba. Ndada ndaxolelwa ke ngenxa “katata wam”.

Ngaphandle koku ke, ndandingembi kwaphela: ndandibetha phambili ngasezifundweni, ndiluhlonipha uluntu – ingakumbi abantu abadala njengoko isiko lethu lisitsho – yaye andizange nditshone nakwelinye ibanga ngalo lonke ixesha lokufunda kwam.

Ndathi ke nje ukuba ndifike kwibanga leshumi ngonyaka ka-1994, ndenza utshintsho ebomini, ndaba nabahlobo abatsha ndayeka imikhuba ndaqiniseka kakhulu apha esikolweni. Ndandisendiyibona impumelelo eza nemfundo elundini phaya; sekusele nje unyaka omnye ndingene emnyangweni weyunivesithi. Ndaqala ndenza izinto ngenkathalo, ndafundela ukuqhekeka intloko nangona ikati yayisalele eziko ekhaya.

Kaloku utata yayinguye kuphela osebenzayo ekhayeni kwaye imali ebeyithumela ekhaya ngempela-nyanga yayinganelanga konke ukondla usapho luphela, iphinde ihlawule iindleko zesikolo. Njengoko ke besihlala sedwa siziphekela, ubomi babunzima kakhulu, imali isinqabele xa sisonke. Nangona kwakunjalo, ndandizimisele ukufunda ndiphumelele, hayi impumelelo nje – ndandifuna ukugqwesa, ndiphumelele emagqabini.

Ekupheleni kwaloo nyaka, kunzima kunjalo ngasepokothweni, ndaphumelela phambili ngematric exemption – isiqinisekiso sokungena eyunivesithi. Ndaxhelelwa iteketeke legusha, kwabizwa izizalwane nabamelwane ukuza kuvuyisana nam. Ndaba liqhayiya lelali yonke kuloo nyaka kuba yayindim kuphela elalini owayechophele iimviwo zebanga leshumi, futhi wagqwesa kwiziphumo. Enye into eyaphinde yenza umahluko kukuba ndandingowokuqala kwikhaya lonke ukufumana i-exemption.

Kwizikolo zethu ngelo xesha kwakungekho zifundo zokucebisa abafundi malunga nekhondo lomsebenzi amabawufundele, ngoko ke andikwazanga ukufunda ngo-1995. Zazizibini ke phofu izizathu zoko: okokuqala abazali bam babengenazo iintsiba zokuhlawulela imfundo ephakamileyo yaseyunivesithi, kodwa esona sizathu yayikukungazi apha kum – kuba zange ndifake sicelo soncedo – mali yokufunda eyunivesithi. Ndasebenzisa u-1995 ukwenza uphando ngezifundo zaseyunivesthi ndatsho ndafaka nezicelo zoncedo ngezimali. Kuye ke kwanyanzeleka ukuba ndinyukele eKapa ndiye kuhlala notata ukuze ndifumane isingxungxwanyana ze ndiqokelele ubugcwabalalana bokuncedisana nabazali ukundisa esikolweni kunyaka olandelayo. Ndandimana ndibamba ezilarheni nakwiivenkile zeempahla. Kuthe ke ngo-1996, unyaka olandelayo, ndamkelwa kwiYunivesithi yaseNtshona Koloni, i-University of the Western Cape kwisixeko saseBellville kwelase Ntshona Koloni. Ndamkelwa kwiBachelor of Science, isidanga sezenzululwazi. Aqala avuleka amasango!