Читать книгу Little Wolf’s Haunted Hall for Small Horrors - Ian Whybrow, Tony Ross - Страница 11

Dear Mum and Dad,

Posh new paper, eh?

Uncle appeared again for a scoff of bakebeans. He said, “TELL ME (SLURP) WHAT STYLE OF SCHOOL YOU WISH TO OPEN. IF I LIKE THE SOUND OF IT (GLUP) I MAY POSSIBLY APPEAR IN IT, YOU NEVER KNOW. IF I HAVE NOTHING MORE PROMISING IN MY DIARY (WOFF).”

So we said our ideas for him:

1) Me and Yeller are the Co-Heads, we can do all the Bossing About.

2) Stubbs is our teacher of how to make spooksuits, plus flying lessons. Also he is Caretaker and Fixy Boy with his clever beak. Plus he wants to be Bell Bird by flying up to the belltower and going ding on the bell (saves rope).

3) Smells is just a Small Horror (like normal, har har). Also his ted can be if he wants.

4) Our most important thing is loads of thrilly fun and laughs for all teachers and pupils.

5) Loads of midnight feasts of bakebeans (Uncle’s best snack).

Uncle said, “WOFF SCOFF, AND WHAT DO YOU EXPECT ME TO DO FOR YOU?”

I said, “Uncle, Frettnin Forest is a fearsum place for small brute beasts. Thus and therefore it is v handy to learn What to Do if a Big Scary Thing Tries to Get You. Also their mums and dads want them to be Splendid Tuff Horrors. So will you be our School Spirit and maybe teach us some tricks and ghosty powers? Like Popping Up Quick and Hollow Larfing?

Uncle said, “SNIFF SNUFF SNY, WHAT DO I SPY? I SPY FLIPPING FLOPPING HARD LABOUR! YOU WISH ME TO SHARE MY SPIRIT POWERS? AND BE A TAME TERROR TO TRAIN YOUR PUPILS? GRRRR, NO FEAR! I HATE SHARING. ALSO, I AM SO MIGHTY, YOUR SISSY PUPILS WOULD NEVER STAND UP TO THE SHOCK OF ME!!”

Yeller said quick, “UNCLE, REALLY WE WANT YOU SHOWIN OFF YOUR POWERS, NOT SHARIN. ALSO, CAN’T YOU TURN YOUR TERROR DOWN A BIT?”

Uncle said, “HMMM, (GLUP) SHOWING OFF? YES, I DO LIKE THE SOUND OF THAT, I LOVE SHOWING OFF. YERSS. WELL P’RAPS AND MAYBE I WILL CONSIDER. BUT YOU MUST DOUBLE MY RATION OF (BURP) LOVELY BAKEBEANS, SO GOOD FOR MY SPIRIT FORCE. AND YOU CAN TIDY THIS BLINKING BLUNKING PLACE UP, IT’S A DISGRRRRRACE!”

Not fair,

Yours discustardly,

Little

PS You say what is M.I.P. on Uncle’s new gravestone?

Answer, Moan in Peace.