Читать книгу Little Wolf’s Haunted Hall for Small Horrors - Ian Whybrow, Tony Ross - Страница 9

Dear Mum and Dad,

Your crool letter says my pics are soppy and cubbish. I only did them to make Dad’s fang feel better. Whyo Y is he so cross? Because I would not do a pic of his horrible dead bruv I bet.

So all right, here he is haunting our cellar in the night-time:

He only comes if he smells lovely bakebeans cooking in the pot. HMMM, YES PLEASE, SCOFF SCOFF. He says they give him loads of Spirit Force.

Mum says does he still look like Dad? Well, he looks just like before he died of the jumping beanbangs. Only now you can see through him. He has a big horrible furry face, plus big horrible red eyes, plus big horrible yellow teeth and all dribble dribbling down. Also his eyebrows meet in the middle like Dad’s, only more caterpillery. Plus he is all green, also loomy looninous he glows in the dark. He is v fearsum plus he makes your fur stand up.

He likes to come slidingly through the wall saying a terrible WOOOOO! and GGGGRRRRAAAH! Also he likes saying terrible words like this:

“I AM THE GHOST OF UNCLE BIGBAD! ME WOT DIED OF THE JUMPING BEANBANGS! I DROOL, I DROOL FOR A LUVLY GOBFUL! FETCH ME THE SHOVEL AND FEED ME SWIFTLY!”

But if you say, “Uncle would you like to be our School Spirit and teach our pupils your ghosty powers?” he says:

“NO BLINKING BLUNKING FEAR, 2 MUCH LIKE HARD WORK.”

Then he scoffs his bakebeans (canteen size) and off he vanishes.

Yours unhelpedly,

L Wolf (Head)