Читать книгу Zero to Five - Tracy Cutchlow - Страница 9

Bolster your friendships

We tend not to live near our families, and who pops over for tea anymore when there’s txt msgs and Facebook?

We’re increasingly isolated. But taking care of a baby is one thing you should not try to do alone. Parents need the emotional and practical support, and babies benefit from exposure to plenty of people. Social isolation can stress you and your marriage, in turn creating an environment harmful to baby.

You’re going to need help. And it’s up to you to make sure you get it.

You’ll need friends to . . .

• bond with while your babies, preferably the same age, play together.

• watch baby while you sleep, shower, get a pedicure, or just do whatever.

• bring you dinner in the early weeks, when you won’t want meals to involve much more than finding a fork.

• babysit, so you and your partner can have a regular date night.

• join you for girls’ night or guys’ night.

Apart from your existing friends, family, and neighbors, where can you find these people?

Plan dates with other parents-to-be from your childbirth education class.

Join a social group for new parents on meetup.com.

Ask around your neighborhood. You might be surprised by the number of resources for new parents. My neighborhood, for example, has a message-board group for parents, a yoga studio with prenatal and mom & baby classes, a café with a baby play area, a children’s museum, classes for parents (breastfeeding, babywearing, bitch sessions), classes for babies (music, movement, swimming, story time at the library), new-parent support groups, and parents’ nights out hosted by churches, community centers, and baby gyms. Before baby, I didn’t know most of these existed.

Talk to strangers. Strike up a conversation with another parent or parent-to-be at the park or grocery store—as simple as “Aww, how old is your baby? What is she doing these days?” or “How are you holding up?” Share something honest. Don’t pretend everything’s perfect and perpetuate the unrealistic expectations we place on ourselves.

Then, don’t leave without exchanging contact info: “Hey, let me give you my e-mail address.”

TRY THIS

Before baby, invite your dearest friends over for a cooking party, and stock up on freezer-friendly meals. Nourishingmeals.com has ideas for new moms.

As your due date nears, sign up with an online meal registry. This is a huge help in organizing the visitors who, bless them, offer to bring you hot meals.