Читать книгу The Book of Humorous Verse - Various - Страница 3

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I: BANTER page
The Played-Out Humorist W. S. Gilbert 25
The Practical Joker W. S. Gilbert 26
To Phœbe W. S. Gilbert 28
Malbrouck Father Prout 29
Mark Twain: A Pipe Dream Oliver Herford 30
From a Full Heart A. A. Milne 31
The Ultimate Joy Unknown 32
Old Fashioned Fun W. M. Thackeray 33
When Moonlike Ore the Hazure Seas W. M. Thackeray 34
When the Frost is on the Punkin James Whitcomb Riley 34
Two Men Edwin Arlington Robinson 35
A Familiar Letter to Several Correspondents Oliver Wendell Holmes 36
The Height of the Ridiculous Oliver Wendell Holmes 38
Shake, Mulleary and Go-ethe H. C. Bunner 40
A Rondelay Peter A. Motteux 41
Winter Dusk R. K. Munkittrick 42
Comic Miseries John G. Saxe 42
Early Rising John G. Saxe 44
To the Pliocene Skull Bret Harte 46
Ode to Work in Springtime Thomas R. Ybarra 47
Old Stuff Bert Leston Taylor 48
To Minerva Thomas Hood 49
The Legend of Heinz Von Stein Charles Godfrey Leland 49
The Truth About Horace Eugene Field 50
Propinquity Needed Charles Battell Loomis 51
In the Catacombs Harlan Hoge Ballard 52
Our Native Birds Nathan Haskell Dole 53
The Prayer of Cyrus Brown Sam Walter Foss 54
Erring in Company Franklin P. Adams 55
Cupid William Blake 56
If We Didn't Have to Eat Nixon Waterman 57
To My Empty Purse Geoffrey Chaucer 58
The Birth of Saint Patrick Samuel Lover 58
Her Little Feet William Ernest Henley 59
School James Kenneth Stephen 60
The Millennium James Kenneth Stephen 60
"Exactly So" Lady T. Hastings 61
Companions Charles Stuart Calverley 63
The Schoolmaster Charles Stuart Calverley 64
A Appeal for Are to the Sextant of the old Brick Meetinouse Arabella Willson 66
Cupid's Darts Unknown 67
A Plea for Trigamy Owen Seaman 68
The Pope Charles Lever 70
All at Sea Frederick Moxon 70
Ballad of the Primitive Jest Andrew Lang 72
Villanelle of Things Amusing Gelett Burgess 73
How to Eat Watermelons Frank Libby Stanton 73
A Vague Story Walter Parke 74
His Mother-in-Law Walter Parke 75
On a Deaf Housekeeper Unknown 76 [Pg xi]
Homœopathic Soup Unknown 76
Some Little Bug Roy Atwell 77
On the Downtown Side of an Uptown Street William Johnston 79
Written After Swimming from Sestos to Abydos Lord Byron 80
The Fisherman's Chant F. C. Burnand 81
Report of an Adjudged Case William Cowper 82
Prehistoric Smith David Law Proudfit 83
Song George Canning 84
Lying Thomas Moore 86
Strictly Germ-Proof Arthur Guiterman 87
The Lay of the Lover's Friend William B. Aytoun 88
Man's Place in Nature Unknown 89
The New Version W. J. Lampton 90
Amazing Facts About Food Unknown 91
Transcendentalism Unknown 92
A "Caudal" Lecture William Sawyer 92
Salad Sydney Smith 93
Nemesis J. W. Foley 94
"Mona Lisa" John Kendrick Bangs 95
The Siege of Djklxprwbz Eugene Fitch Ware 96
Rural Bliss Anthony C. Deane 97
An Old Bachelor Tudor Jenks 98
Song J. R. Planché 99
The Quest of the Purple Cow Hilda Johnson 100
St. Patrick of Ireland, My Dear! William Maginn 101
The Irish Schoolmaster James A. Sidey 103
Reflections on Cleopathera's Needle Cormac O'Leary 105
The Origin of Ireland Unknown 106
As to the Weather Unknown 107
The Twins Henry S. Leigh 108
II: THE ETERNAL FEMININE
He and She Eugene Fitch Ware 109
The Kiss Tom Masson 109
The Courtin' James Russell Lowell 110
Hiram Hover Bayard Taylor 113
Blow Me Eyes! Wallace Irwin 115
First Love Charles Stuart Calverley 116
What Is a Woman Like? Unknown 118
Mis' Smith Albert Bigelow Paine 119
Triolet Paul T. Gilbert 120
Bessie Brown, M.D. Samuel Minturn Peck 120
A Sketch from the Life Arthur Guiterman 121
Minguillo's Kiss Unknown 122
A Kiss in the Rain Samuel Minturn Peck 123
The Love-Knot Nora Perry 124
Over the Way Mary Mapes Dodge 125
Chorus of Women Aristophanes 126
The Widow Malone Charles Lever 126
The Smack in School William Pitt Palmer 128
'Späcially Jim Bessie Morgan 129
Kitty of Coleraine Edward Lysaght 130
Why Don't the Men Propose? Thomas Haynes Bayly 130
A Pin Ella Wheeler Wilcox 132
The Whistler Unknown 133
The Cloud Oliver Herford 134
Constancy John Boyle O'Reilly 137
Ain't it Awful, Mabel? John Edward Hazzard 137
Wing Tee Wee J. P. Denison 139 [Pg xii]
Phyllis Lee Oliver Herford 139
The Sorrows of Werther W. M. Thackeray 140
The Unattainable Harry Romaine 141
Rory O'More; or, Good Omens Samuel Lover 141
A Dialogue from Plato Austin Dobson 142
Dora Versus Rose Austin Dobson 144
Tu Quoque Austin Dobson 146
Nothing to Wear William Allen Butler 148
My Mistress's Boots Frederick Locker-Lampson 153
Mrs. Smith Frederick Locker-Lampson 155
A Terrible Infant Frederick Locker-Lampson 156
Susan Frederick Locker-Lampson 157
"I Didn't Like Him" Harry B. Smith 157
My Angeline Harry B. Smith 158
Nora's Vow Sir Walter Scott 159
Husband and Heathen Sam Walter Foss 160
The Lost Pleiad Arthur Reed Ropes 161
The New Church Organ Will Carleton 162
Larrie O'Dee William W. Fink 165
No Fault in Women Robert Herrick 166
A Cosmopolitan Woman Unknown 167
Courting in Kentucky Florence E. Pratt 168
Any One Will Do Unknown 169
A Bird in the Hand Frederic E. Weatherly 170
The Belle of the Ball Winthrop Mackworth Praed 171
The Retort George Pope Morris 174
Behave Yoursel' Before Folk Alexander Rodger 174
The Chronicle: A Ballad Abraham Cowley 176
Buxom Joan William Congreve 179
Oh, My Geraldine F. C. Burnand 180
The Parterre E. H. Palmer 180
How to Ask and Have Samuel Lover 181
Sally in Our Alley Henry Carey 182
False Love and True Logic Laman Blanchard 183
Pet's Punishment J. Ashby-Sterry 184
Ad Chloen, M.A. Mortimer Collins 184
Chloe, M.A. Mortimer Collins 185
The Fair Millinger Fred W. Loring 186
Two Fishers Unknown 188
Maud Henry S. Leigh 188
Are Women Fair? Francis Davison 189
The Plaidie Charles Sibley 190
Feminine Arithmetic Charles Graham Halpine 191
Lord Guy George F. Warren 191
Sary "Fixes Up" Things Albert Bigelow Paine 192
The Constant Cannibal Maiden Wallace Irwin 194
Widow Bedott to Elder Sniffles Frances M. Whitcher 195
Under the Mistletoe George Francis Shults 196
The Broken Pitcher William E. Aytoun 196
Gifts Returned Walter Savage Landor 198
III: LOVE AND COURTSHIP
Noureddin, the Son of the Shah Clinton Scollard 199
The Usual Way Frederic E. Weatherly 200
The Way to Arcady H. C. Bunner 201
My Love and My Heart Henry S. Leigh 204
Quite by Chance Frederick Langbridge 205
The Nun Leigh Hunt 206
The Chemist to His Love Unknown 206
Categorical Courtship Unknown 207
Lanty Leary Samuel Lover 208 [Pg xiii]
The Secret Combination Ellis Parker Butler 209
Forty Years After H. H. Porter 210
Cupid Ben Jonson 211
Paring-Time Anticipated William Cowper 212
Why H. P. Stevens 214
The Sabine Farmer's Serenade Father Prout 214
I Hae Laid a Herring in Saut James Tytler 216
The Clown's Courtship Unknown 217
Out Upon It Sir John Suckling 218
Love is Like a Dizziness James Hogg 218
The Kitchen Clock John Vance Cheney 220
Lady Mine H. E. Clarke 221
Ballade of the Golfer in Love Clinton Scollard 222
Ballade of Forgotten Loves Arthur Grissom 223
IV: SATIRE
A Ballade of Suicide G. K. Chesterton 224
Finnigan to Flannigan S. W. Gillinan 225
Study of an Elevation in Indian Ink Rudyard Kipling 226
The V-a-s-e James Jeffrey Roche 227
Miniver Cheevy Edwin Arlington Robinson 229
The Recruit Robert W. Chambers 230
Officer Brady Robert W. Chambers 232
Post-Impressionism Bert Leston Taylor 235
To the Portrait of "A Gentleman" Oliver Wendell Holmes 236
Cacoethes Scribendi Oliver Wendell Holmes 238
Contentment Oliver Wendell Holmes 238
A Boston Lullaby James Jeffrey Roche 240
A Grain of Salt Wallace Irwin 241
Song Richard Lovelace 241
A Philosopher Sam Walter Foss 242
The Meeting of the Clabberhuses Sam Walter Foss 244
The Ideal Husband to His Wife Sam Walter Foss 246
Distichs John Hay 247
The Hen-roost Man Ruth McEnery Stuart 247
If They Meant All They Say Alice Duer Miller 247
The Man Stephen Crane 248
A Thought James Kenneth Stephen 248
The Musical Ass Tomaso de Yriarte 249
The Knife-Grinder George Canning 249
St. Anthony's Sermon to the Fishes Abraham á Sancta-Clara 251
The Battle of Blenheim Robert Southey 252
The Three Black Crows John Byrom 254
To the Terrestrial Globe W. S. Gilbert 256
Etiquette W. S. Gilbert 256
A Modest Wit Selleck Osborn 260
The Latest Decalogue Arthur Hugh Clough 261
A Simile Matthew Prior 262
By Parcels Post George R. Sims 262
All's Well That Ends Well Unknown 264
The Contrast Captain C. Morris 265
The Devonshire Lane John Marriott 266
A Splendid Fellow H. C. Dodge 267
If H. C. Dodge 268
Accepted and Will Appear Parmenas Mix 268
The Little Vagabond William Blake 269
Sympathy Reginald Heber 270
The Religion of Hudibras Samuel Butler 271
Holy Willie's Prayer Robert Burns 272
The Learned Negro Unknown 274
True to Poll F. C. Burnand 275 [Pg xiv]
Trust in Women Unknown 276
The Literary Lady Richard Brinsley Sheridan 278
Twelve Articles Dean Swift 279
All-Saints Edmund Yates 280
How to Make a Man of Consequence Mark Lemon 280
On a Magazine Sonnet Russell Hilliard Loines 281
Paradise George Birdseye 281
The Friar of Orders Gray John O'Keefe 282
Of a Certain Man Sir John Harrington 282
Clean Clara W. B. Rands 283
Christmas Chimes Unknown 284
The Ruling Passion Alexander Pope 285
The Pope and the Net Robert Browning 286
The Actor John Wolcot 287
The Lost Spectacles Unknown 287
That Texan Cattle Man Joaquin Miller 288
Fable Ralph Waldo Emerson 290
Hoch! Der Kaiser Rodney Blake 291
What Mr. Robinson Thinks James Russell Lowell 292
The Candidate's Creed James Russell Lowell 294
The Razor Seller John Wolcot 297
The Devil's Walk on Earth Robert Southey 298
Father Molloy Samuel Lover 307
The Owl-Critic James Thomas Fields 309
What Will We Do? Robert J. Burdette 311
Life in Laconics Mary Mapes Dodge 311
On Knowing When to Stop L. J. Bridgman 312
Rev. Gabe Tucker's Remarks Unknown 312
Thursday Frederic E. Weatherly 313
Sky-Making Mortimer Collins 314
The Positivists Mortimer Collins 315
Martial in London Mortimer Collins 316
The Splendid Shilling John Philips 316
After Horace A. D. Godley 320
Of a Precise Tailor Sir John Harrington 322
Money Jehan du Pontalais 323
Boston Nursery Rhymes Rev. Joseph Cook 324
Kentucky Philosophy Harrison Robertson 325
John Grumlie Allan Cunningham 326
A Song of Impossibilities Winthrop Mackworth Praed 327
Song John Donne 330
The Oubit Charles Kingsley 330
Double Ballade of Primitive Man Andrew Lang 331
Phillis's Age Matthew Prior 332
V: CYNICISM
Good and Bad Luck John Hay 334
Bangkolidye Barry Pain 334
Pensées De Noël A. D. Godley 336
A Ballade of an Anti-Puritan G. K. Chesterton 337
Pessimism Newton Mackintosh 338
Cynical Ode to an Ultra-Cynical Public Charles Mackay 339
Youth and Art Robert Browning 339
The Bachelor's Dream Thomas Hood 342
All Things Except Myself I Know Francois Villon 343
The Joys of Marriage Charles Cotton 344
The Third Proposition Madeline Bridges 345
The Ballad of Cassandra Brown Helen Gray Cone 345
What's in a Name? R. K. Munkittrick 347
Too Late Fits Hugh Ludlow 348 [Pg xv]
The Annuity George Outram 350
K. K.—Can't Calculate Frances M. Whitcher 353
Northern Farmer Lord Tennyson 354
Fin de Siècle Unknown 357
Then Ag'in Sam Walter Foss 357
The Pessimist Ben King 358
Without and Within James Russell Lowell 359
Same Old Story Harry B. Smith 360
VI: EPIGRAMS
Woman's Will John G. Saxe 362
Cynicus to W. Shakespeare James Kenneth Stephen 362
Senex to Matt. Prior James Kenneth Stephen 362
To a Blockhead Alexander Pope 362
The Fool and the Poet Alexander Pope 363
A Rhymester Samuel Taylor Coleridge 363
Giles's Hope Samuel Taylor Coleridge 363
Cologne Samuel Taylor Coleridge 363
An Eternal Poem Samuel Taylor Coleridge 364
On a Bad Singer Samuel Taylor Coleridge 364
Job Samuel Taylor Coleridge 364
Reasons for Drinking Dr. Henry Aldrich 364
Smatterers Samuel Butler 365
Hypocrisy Samuel Butler 365
To Doctor Empiric Ben Jonson 365
A Remedy Worse than the Disease Matthew Prior 365
A Wife Richard Brinsley Sheridan 366
The Honey-Moon Walter Savage Landor 366
Dido Richard Porson 366
An Epitaph George John Cayley 366
On Taking a Wife Thomas Moore 367
Upon Being Obliged to Leave a Pleasant Party Thomas Moore 367
Some Ladies Frederick Locker-Lampson 367
On a Sense of Humor Frederick Locker-Lampson 367
On Hearing a Lady Praise a Certain Rev. Doctor's Eyes George Outram 368
Epitaph Intended for His Wife John Dryden 368
To a Capricious Friend Joseph Addison 368
Which is Which John Byrom 368
On a Full-Length Portrait of Beau Marsh Lord Chesterfield 369
On Scotland Cleveland 369
Mendax Lessing 369
To a Slow Walker and Quick Eater Lessing 369
What's My Thought Like? Thomas Moore 370
Of All the Men Thomas Moore 370
On Butler's Monument Rev. Samuel Wesley 370
A Conjugal Conundrum Unknown 371
VII: BURLESQUE
Lovers and a Reflection Charles Stuart Calverley 372
Our Hymn Oliver Wendell Holmes 374
"Soldier, Rest!" Robert J. Burdette 374
Imitation Anthony C. Deane 375
The Mighty Must W. S. Gilbert 376
Midsummer Madness Unknown 377
Mavrone Arthur Guiterman 378 [Pg xvi]
Lilies Don Marquis 379
For I am Sad Don Marquis 379
A Little Swirl of Vers Libre Thomas R. Ybarra 380
Young Lochinvar Unknown 381
Imagiste Love Lines Unknown 383
Bygones Bert Lesion Taylor 383
Justice to Scotland Unknown 384
Lament of the Scotch-Irish Exile James Jeffrey Roche 385
A Song of Sorrow Charles Battell Loomis 386
The Rejected "National Hymns" Robert H. Newell 387
The Editor's Wooing Robert H. Newell 389
The Baby's Debut James Smith 390
The Cantelope Bayard Taylor 393
Never Forget Your Parents Franklin P. Adams 394
A Girl was Too Reckless of Grammar Guy Wetmore Carryl 395
Behold the Deeds! H. C. Bunner 397
Villon's Straight Tip to All Cross Coves William Ernest Henley 399
Culture in the Slums William Ernest Henley 400
The Lawyer's Invocation to Spring Henry Howard Brownell 402
North, East, South, and West Unknown 403
Martin Luther at Potsdam Barry Pain 404
An Idyll of Phatte and Leene Unknown 406
The House that Jack Built Samuel Taylor Coleridge 407
Palabras Grandiosas Bayard Taylor 407
A Love Playnt Godfrey Turner 408
Darwinity Herman C. Merivale 409
Select Passages from a Coming Poet F. Anstey 410
The Romaunt of Humpty Dumpty Henry S. Leigh 411
The Wedding Thomas Hood, Jr. 412
In Memoriam Technicam Thomas Hood, Jr. 413
"Songs Without Words" Robert J. Burdette 413
The Book of Humorous Verse

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