Читать книгу The World According to Vice - Vice Magazine - Страница 31

Luckily the dye didn’t stick to my skin like it stuck to my hair. It was like a rather punk tuft of grass had sprouted out of my skull. Night one in the squat had involved surprisingly little debauchery: my squat-mates had a TV and watched politicians spewing their filthy lies through the corporate media machine on News at Ten. I drowned out the elitist bullshit with a scratched copy of Conflict’s The Ungovernable Force on a record player from the 1960s that somebody had brought back from Berlin.

Aside from waking up on the floor and feeling like I’d never be able to walk again, it was quite a letdown. There was no all-night weed smoking or heated political discussion. There wasn’t even a police siege.

To amend matters I decided to pack up my sleeping bag and have a drink at the Foundry—a bar-art space-slop-house for Spanish cycle couriers with tribal tattoos and the single-dread-lock-that-looks-like-a-turd-log-jutting-from-the-back-of-the-head hairstyle. Surely I’d find like-minded souls here? The answer was no. But there was an organic ale that tasted of mud and parsnips.

After stealing six cans of cider from a nearby newsagent, I walked across Hackney Downs and went to borrow my friend’s dog, which was overly pleased to have someone with Astroturf for hair to play with. When we got back to the squat he savaged my mobile bed in excitement.

Factory-manufactured dog leads are tools of oppression, so I lassoed the mutt with my belt and headed out wandering. It was pretty fun watching people cross the street with looks of total panic on their faces, but the police car trailing me all the way back across the river to South London was not so enjoyable.

ANARCHIST CRITERIA:

1  Don’t engage with the system in any way—no mobile phones, bank cards, or public transportation

2 Live in a squat

3 Hang out with a dog

4 Don’t pay for food

5 Look like a member of Extreme Noise Terror (or at least Doom)

6 Make some new crusty friends

7 Attend at least one punk show