Читать книгу The World According to Vice - Vice Magazine - Страница 60

Year two affects some people like a mini mid-life crisis. There’s the realisation that you’ve pissed away your first year and that now, all of a sudden, you’ve got to start getting yourself together or the whole thing will be a gigantic waste. This is where the weak-minded and the druggies start to wobble and develop signs of madness—like not coming out of their rooms for days, cutting themselves, crying out of context, etc. These people need your help. Talk to them honestly about how much they’re fucking themselves up and if, after six months, they show no signs of responding, then force them to quit university, rethink everything and go back to real life. Unless they’re setting fire to your house or killing animals, DO NOT take them near any on-campus psychiatric units. If you get detained, you are fucked forever. Remember Angelina Jolie in Girl, Interrupted? The reality is a million times worse. You’ll be plunged into a twilight world of really strong sedatives, cigarette-smoke-filled dayrooms, constant yelling, farting, puking, crying, and people who are 30 years older than you waking you up in the middle of the night crying and asking to borrow your clothes. Flirting with heroin and burglary is less risky than flirting with the mental health system. You have no fucking idea.