Читать книгу Welcoming Your Second Baby - Vicki Lansky - Страница 10

• Don’t tell a child of any age how he or she is going to feel about the baby. Statements like “You’re going to love the baby,” and “You’re going to have lots of fun playing with the baby and helping me care for the baby” may express your heart’s desires, but might only serve to irritate your child or set him or her up for conflict if your child doesn’t feel the way you predicted.

• Stress the positive and give your child a feeling of status by saying things like, “You’re going to be a big brother,” rather than, “You’re going to have a baby brother or sister.”

• Take advantage of the unknown sex of the baby to encourage nonsexist thinking by pointing out that “Girls can _____ too,” and “Boys can ______ too.” (You may see a bit of jealousy already developing if your child wants the baby to be of the opposite sex from himself or herself.)

• Stress the fact, especially to a young child, that the gender of the unborn baby will be a surprise. (If you have had an ultrasound, sonogram or an amniocentesis and already know the baby’s sex, that’s a different matter!)

• Let your child fantasize about the baby by drawing pictures of how he or she thinks it will look. The drawings may offer you an opportunity to correct misconceptions or provide explanations.

• “Borrow” a baby, or babysit one regularly, with two thoughts in mind. First, your child will see how infants act and how much care they need, and second, you’ll have a chance to practice having more than one to care for. (And perhaps the other mother will owe you some babysitting time when your second baby is born!)

• Better yet, expose your child to more than one infant. Young ones, especially, sometimes have trouble imagining a sibling similar, but not identical, to a baby they’ve seen.

• Let your child see a nursing mother, if possible, so that if you breast-feed, it won’t seem strange.

• Don’t let the child think the newborn will be a playmate; be clear about the fact that they do little but eat, sleep, and cry.

• Talk about the different things your older child will show or teach the new baby once it is “out.”

• Share child care with your spouse (if you don’t already) so your child won’t expect mother’s care exclusively.

• Point out pictures of newborns in magazines to prepare your child for the way an infant looks. Explain that babies have no teeth, and that there will be a scab where the umbilical cord was.

• Also point out older babies, to let your child know that newborn babies do change as they grow.

Know that giving rational explanations of an impending future event to a child under the age of two will not be understood.

Creative Art Projects for You and Your Child to Make to Welcome the New Baby

• A WELCOME SIGN to put up the day the baby comes home. When you know the name, use it—or add it—on the sign.

• ANNOUNCEMENT art: a sign for the house, a note for neighbors and friends, etc.

• QUIET, BABY SLEEPING signage to put on a door or hang from a door knob.

• WALL ART to decorate baby’s room.

• ART WORK to wrap gifts for the baby.

• T-SHIRT MESSAGE. Using a plain white t-shirt, let a child decorate it or color on it after you first write with fabric paint any of the following:

1. I’m (baby x’s) Big Sister/Brother

2. I am the Big Sister/Brother

3. I’m Going to be a Big Sister/Brother Soon (an announcement t-shirt)