Читать книгу Toilet Training - Vicki Lansky - Страница 11

There is much to be said for setting the stage well before you begin toilet training. Few children train themselves. They need to know what’s expected of them. They need and deserve your help and guidance. A child who has become familiar with bathroom procedures and equipment is more likely to become trained quickly and easily than one who has not.

• Take your child into the bathroom with you. It’s especially helpful if fathers and brothers set the example for boys, and mothers and sisters set the example for girls. Siblings are often pleased to act as role models. If your privacy is important to you, don’t forget that there are neighborhood children who would probably be delighted to demonstrate. Day-care today often lets children “learn” from their peers and often speeds up their learning curve.

• Try to help your child recognize the sensations of “being wet,” “wetting now,” and “about to be wet.” Encourage your child to talk about these sensations—especially “about to be . . .” sensations—without pressuring your child to be toilet trained. Comment on signs you notice, such as the child’s pausing in play or walking if he or she is uncomfortable after elimination. Use statements such as, “You are having a BM,” rather than asking the general question, “What are you doing?” Asking your child to let you know when the diaper is wet or messy is another way of increasing awareness.

Check Fluid Intake

If your child shows all the signs of readiness except the ability to stay dry for at least two hours, check fluid intake. Any child who is drinking milk, water, or fruit juices continuously cannot stay dry for long. Also, check with your doctor about the possibility of a milk allergy or lactose intolerance (the inability to digest milk properly) which can result in cramps, loose stools and the inability to hold a bowel movement for more than a moment.

• Let your child go nude in appropriate settings to help the child “see” what he or she is doing, and to help make the mental connection between the words and what they refer to.

• Changing a diaper in the bathroom will also associate the process with the place. Children over age two should be off the changing table for this reason.

• Although much ado has been made about using the proper terminology for body parts and functions, you should use the words that come most easily to you and your child. “Peeing,” for example, may be more effective than the term “urinating” if the latter is a forced term. DO use specific terms, though; “going to the bathroom” is too vague. Try not to use words that will make your child think of his or her bodily functions as being dirty or disgusting (for example, “dirty,” “stinky,” “yucky,” etc.).

• Help your child learn the meaning of the terms “before” and “after” by using them yourself in other contexts such as, “We’ll wash the dishes after dinner.”

• Talk about the advantages of being trained: no more diaper rash, no more interruptions for diaper changing, and the pleasure of being clean and dry. Discuss training as an important stage of growing up and being “grown up.”

• Let your child practice lowering and raising training diapers or pants sometimes, or putting them on and taking them off.

• Have a potty chair handy on which the child may sit on (even with clothes on) while you are in the bathroom yourself, but only if he or she wants to. The intent is not to get results, but to provide familiarity with the equipment. Let the child flush the toilet for you, to help him or her get used to the noise it makes and avoid possible fear later on.

• Begin reading potty books to your child.

Also watch for body signals that children give when they have the urge to go.

• Becoming red in the face.

• “Dancing” on tiptoes.

• Holds legs together.

• Pulling at clothes.

• Hands holding genital area.

You can put words to their actions and point out these signals and suggest using the bathroom. Eventually children tune into these signals themselves.

I don’t think there’s any one way to toilet train children. They can be tempted, coaxed, yelled at or put on the potty every hour, but they won’t really be trained until they decide they’re ready.

Marlene Gwiazdon, Osceola, WI

Nothing I try has worked. My three-year-old understands everything about potty training, but tells me, “I’m not ready, Mommy.” So I try not to say anything. If he’s not ready, he’s not ready.

Kyle Lutz, Mill Valley, CA