Читать книгу Toilet Training - Vicki Lansky - Страница 8

However nice it is to finally have a toilet-trained child, the process shouldn’t (and usually can’t) be rushed. Consider these disadvantages which are a high price to pay for a lowered cost of diapers:

• Trying to toilet train a child who isn’t ready can prove to be futile, a waste of time and lots of unresolved anger.

• A child who is forced to try to comply may experience an extreme sense of failure. And so may the parents!

• Premature toilet training may create a war of wills in which no one wins. A child may actually hold back bowel movements, creating serious constipation problems in an attempt to control the parent.

• The stresses of futile attempts at training may cause a parent to use inappropriate regimentation or force. Studies show that one of the principal causes of child abuse is parental frustration over a child’s unsuccessful toilet training.

• A child’s anxiety about toilet training may lead to bed-wetting into adulthood. (A study of 18-year-old British army inductees provided a classic example of this. Fifteen percent were still bed-wetters after having been toilet trained before the age of one.)

We know that early rigid and coercive tactics are not worth the success they might achieve. In fact, rigid and coercive tactics used later in the training process can ALSO create more problems than they solve!

While most professionals today advocate later-is-just-fine, some believe you should begin training before your child’s first birthday. One such book promoting early training is Infant Potty Training by Laurie Boucke (White-Boucke Publishing, 2008).

I have been at odds with my four-year-old for more than two years. We seem to backslide a lot (sort of like two steps forward, one step back). I think I put too much pressure on him in the beginning. We are trying to be more laid back with our younger child.

Becky Wilkins, Lubbock, TX

As one who did not get trained until age four and a half myself, I would not suggest the issue first. Once either of ours decided he or she wanted to use the potty and wear panties, that was the key.

Jodi Junge, Huntingdon Valley, PA