Читать книгу Wicked Enchantment - Wanda Coleman - Страница 13

doctor asked me if i had any sexual fantasies. i told him i had none

my fantasies could not be spoken. they would not be well received

and he might try to kill me

reality: him cruising by in his cadillac

me at the bus stop on my way home to hubby and the kid

he smiles and doubles back, ready as spring

i slide in next to the singer. at the motel

he plays hollywood to my watts

the doctor asked me who i loved most, my father or my mother. and i

said i loved them both the same, but differently. father understood

one side of my personality and mother, the other

reality: him slipping the ring off my pinky

unnoticed, then pretending to help me look for it

he smiles and tells me he’s ready

i slide in under him, unaware that this is

just another movie scene

doctor asked me what i thought about the face that curved along

the paper. was it male or female. i saw a woman there and said so.

he told me it could be either. i didn’t understand the significance

of that particular test

reality: me showing up on his job

the blistering anger/anguish of summer. i want

him to take me and the child away from my man

i want him to stake a claim. not ready at all

he avoids my eyes, cries about his wife and

her suicidal tendencies

the doctor asks me what i am. i say, a non sequitur. he is suddenly

afraid as i spew out my hatred. across the rug stamping angrily at

my absence from the nation’s tomes. he shifts his glasses uncomfortably

hands me a tissue for my tears, tells me he does not want me as a

patient. walks out. it’s cold on the leather

reality: me running into him a couple of

years later, after his nervous breakdown and my

divorce. lust like yesterday cops a feel of

my ass, and it’s to the motel for one of the good

old days. he’s trying to make it back to the top

and it’s my turn to do a fade

the apartment a fist closing round me. i go back to the streets, call on

a few friends and assure them i’m okay and no longer courting death.

didn’t

really need a doctor after all, now that i’ve finally found a decent job