Читать книгу Becoming an Invitational Leader - William W Purkey - Страница 21

In a healthy person the internal whispers are highly beneficial. They murmur of success, assurance, fulfillment, and provide a large measure of control over both feelings and actions. Scholars who have written about the nature of the self generally agree that individuals who define themselves in essentially positive ways tend to be open to experience, are more willing to disclose their feelings and face the world with confidence and assurance. In the healthy individual this positive inner voice is moderated by realistic assessment. An example of positive and realistic internal dialogue was shared by a friend:

I used to think that I was a failure if I did not have a big home, fine car, and money in the bank. Now I realize that I may never have these things, and that’s O.K. I have many other things that make me a success, including good health, dear friends, and a loving family.

Another friend commented:

After not getting a new position, I became very depressed. I felt that I must have done something wrong during the interview not to have gotten the promotion. I kept thinking to myself that I had messed up. My wife suggested that it is entirely possible that I could have had a great interview and still not have gotten the position. Perhaps the person chosen just had more experience. This thought helped me to think about the situation in a whole new light.

Growing numbers of research studies have identified the beneficial effects of positive belief systems manifested in self-talk. The research of Scheier and Carver, Seligman, and others suggests that an optimistic belief system results in better academic performance in the classroom, better performance on the athletic field, and better physical health.

A delightfully optimistic approach to life was portrayed in Life With Father by Clarence Day: “Father declared he was going to buy a new plot in the cemetery, a plot all for himself. ‘And I’ll buy on a corner,’ he added triumphantly, ‘where I can get out!’ Mother looked at him, startled but admiring and whispered to me, ‘I almost believe he could do it,’” Father’s upbeat, optimistic outlook on life and beyond serves as an example of invitational thinking in action.

Here are some examples of healthy self-talk:

“There are some things that I’m not good at.”

“I enjoy challenges.”

“I like the way I look.”

“I trust my feelings.”

“I’m a responsible person.”

“I’ve got a good head on my shoulders.”

“I’m optimistic about the future.”

“I find some things difficult.”

“Most people like me.”

“I respect myself.”

These comments reflect a positive and realistic view of one’s existence. The voice of the self speaks of positive capabilities, coupled with reasonable cautions against being overly optimistic.