Читать книгу Becoming an Invitational Leader - William W Purkey - Страница 23

Throughout this chapter there has been an implicit subtext that is crucial to the development of the invitational leader — namely, how we feel about ourselves has a profound impact on how we interact with others.

The intentionally inviting leader, one who is guided by a healthy, optimistic self-concept, frees others to feel as positively about themselves as he or she does. After all, how we interact with others is really a reflection of how we interact with ourselves. The invitational leader speaks in encouraging, positive tones, echoing what he hears when he listens carefully to his or her own whispering self.

It should come as no surprise that listening to ourselves and others is one of the keys to developing a healthy self-concept. Just as listening to the self helps us to monitor our self-talk for negative or unhealthy whispers, so listening closely to our colleagues enables us to understand differences in thinking styles and personalities. Listening to the self and listening to others — these are not always separate actions, for they often happen simultaneously. One listens to the whispering self in determining how best to approach each colleague, and then monitors the interaction as it takes place, seeking to be as constructive and encouraging as possible.

It should be clear by now that the invitational leader’s self-concept is crucial. Think, for instance, what would happen to the leader with a negative self-concept. How can negative thoughts about the self do anything but interfere with our relationships with others? How can the leader learn to engage others if he or she does not first learn to engage in confident and healthy self-talk? Further, what good is positive self-talk if the invitational leader does not treat colleagues and their opinions with respect? Consider what Robert Greenleaf, an authority on the topic of servant leadership, writes about respectful listening:

Most of us, at one time or another, some of us a good deal of the time, would really like to communicate, really get through to the level of meaning rooted in the listener’s experience. It can be terribly important. The best test of whether we are communicating at this depth is to ask ourselves, first, are we really listening? Are we listening to the one we want to communicate to? Is our basic attitude, as we approach the confrontation, one of wanting to understand? Remember that great line from the prayer of Saint Francis: “Lord, grant that I may not seek so much to be understood as to understand.”

Understanding begins with the self: Are we able to comprehend our own motivations and desires, and can we recognize and revise negative internal dialogue? But such self-knowledge has broader implications for the ways in which we relate to others. Indeed, if we are really listening to ourselves, then we should be able to listen with equal concentration, respect, and interest to our colleagues. Heresy though it might be to do so, we might alter the prayer of Saint Francis: Lord, grant that I may truly understand myself, and therefore learn to understand others.

A posture of seeking to understand ourselves and our place in the world is the stance of the invitational leader. The stakes of such understanding are high. We turn again to Greenleaf: “I submit, with respect to purpose, that no person is to be trusted with any aim unless he or she has some contact, however tenuous, with ultimate purpose.” The invitational leader has contact with his or her ultimate purpose of being a beneficial presence. This requires the soul-searching necessary to lead others toward greatness. More importantly, this leader will seek to inspire the same kind of search for meaning in his or her colleagues and, by setting a positive example through words and actions, will have a very real possibility of succeeding. At the highest level, then, the stakes of Invitational Leadership are nothing less than what Walt Whitman calls the “progress of souls.”