Читать книгу Becoming an Invitational Leader - William W Purkey - Страница 26

It seems necessary to point out here that expressing regret and saying you’re sorry is often insufficient. The old saw that if Smith owes Brown $20.00 and does not pay it back, God may forgive but that does not get Brown’s money back. In a book that one of the authors (Dr. Purkey) co-authored with John Schmidt and John Novak, Combat to Conciliation: How to Defuse Difficult Situations, we point out that expressing genuine contrition is more than what we often see in today’s media. Any apology is stripped of its healing power when it is insincere, stiff, or based primarily on self-interest. Moreover, coerced apologies are meaningless.

There is further advantage for expressing sincere regret. In a Time Magazine essay, best-selling author and political commentator Nancy Gibbs reported that most people file lawsuits out of anger, not greed. Medical personnel who express sincere sorrow when something goes awry are less likely to be sued. Following sincere apologies, the number of medical malpractice suits is significantly reduced.

Once a wholehearted apology has been offered, you now have the responsibility to make amends for your misdeeds in whatever way possible. For example, if you falsely accuse a colleague of something you might seek to make amends by contacting everyone involved and writing a personal and public apology for your error. Apologizing to someone in private for hurtful things said in public is unlikely to make full amends. To illustrate, a disturbing event took place while the President of the Unites states was presenting to a joint session of Congress. During the speech, a congressman shouted, “You lie!” Later the congressman apologized to the President in private, but refused to apologize in public. This is insufficient. When you insult someone publicly you need to apologize publicly. Public apology and efforts at restitution will contribute to the healing process.

Offering apologies and making restitution are especially important in Invitational Leadership because they are the qualities that enable invitational leaders to be a beneficial presence in the lives of human beings. In his book, Leadership is an Art, businessman and writer Max DePree points out that leadership is more tribal than scientific. It is more a weaving of relationships than an amassing of information. What makes this “weaving of relationships” possible is the ability of the leader to take a respectful stance toward colleagues — literally inviting others into a positive relationship.