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Introduction to Invitational Leadership

“ Leaders articulate and define what has previously remained implicit or unsaid; then they invent images, metaphors, and models that provide a focus for new attention.”

—Warren Bennis and Burt Nanus, Leaders: Strategies for Taking Charge

We begin with a question you might well ask: Does the world really need another book on leadership? Certainly there are more than enough studies of leadership available — everything from the maddeningly academic to the frustratingly superficial — and indeed by now there is even a book called Leadership for Dummies. With respect to that book’s aim, we see no reason to be obscure about this subject, and we wouldn’t presume to label as a “dummy” anyone seeking to learn the art of leadership. No, we take up this subject because we think we have discovered through the years a more practical, holistic, and dynamic model of leadership — one that encourages leaders to pursue more joyful and more meaningful personal and professional lives, and to invite their colleagues, family, friends, loved ones, and community to do the same. We call this model Invitational Leadership.

The term “invitational” was chosen because this word has special meaning. A concept like “invitation” is the product of centuries of human effort by those seeking to communicate ideas. This involves shaping, molding, and changing the meanings of words. The word “invite” is a derivation of the Latin word invitare. It probably began as vito, which means to avoid and shun. In early Roman society, vito was used to express fear of encroachments by other tribes and to forbid their entry into Rome. As Rome became a dominant force, its citizens felt more secure and opened their borders to the world. In time the term prefix in meaning “without” or “not” was added, and the word invite, which means “to receive politely,” became common and developed into “invite.” So, by definition, an invitation is a generous act of cordially calling forth or summoning.

Invitational Leadership is a Theory of Practice

Most of us tend to think of leadership as something that is exerted by one individual onto others — that is, the leader, having earned a position of dominance and power, begins to issue orders and direct his or her subordinates. The fallacy of an “acting upon” mentality has been extensively documented, proving that great companies are not driven by top-down orders. By contrast, Invitational Leadership involves a generous and genuine turning toward others in empathy and respect, with the ultimate goal of collaborating with them on projects of mutual benefit. The emphasis shifts from command and control to cooperation and communication; from manipulation to cordial summons; from exclusiveness to inclusiveness; from subordinates to associates.

Invitational Leadership is a way of thinking and acting with respect to what is believed to be worthwhile in human interactions. It is democratically oriented and ethical in approach. As a developing theory of practice, Invitational Leadership is incomplete with questions unanswered and avenues unexplored, and that’s a good thing — remaining open to new opportunities for growth is integral to the success of our model. Always evolving, Invitational Leadership points in a hopeful direction that offers a common language in communication and a practical approach to leadership.

The Need for Invitational Leadership

There is a great and pressing need in everyday life for a special kind of leader who can be a force for positive social change and who can gain the voluntary and enthusiastic support of others. This leader can bond people together within a circle of respect, trust, and optimism. We believe that Invitational Leadership meets this need.

The concept of “invitational” leadership may appear to be fragile when compared with models and theories that advocate taking charge, being tough-minded, gaining the competitive edge, practicing impact leadership, and even picturing the leader as Samurai warrior or martial artist. In fact, the opposite is the key to successful leadership. To invite is to offer something beneficial for consideration. It is an intentional call-to-action based on collaboration.

Most books on leadership focus on habits, traits, skills, and behaviors. These books are silent or inarticulate about what goes on in the perceptual world of the individual. Authors unintentionally disclose disrespect for the feelings of fellow human beings by demonstrating an “acting-upon” mentality. These authors use such terms as empowering, turning on, lifting up, motivating, building, enhancing, making, reinforcing, energizing, and shaping. This kind of language may be suitable when working with objects or machines, but it is inappropriate when working with human beings.

There is an obvious danger in the objectification of people. Individuals are not functionaries to a particular system. You can turn on a light switch, build a doghouse, shape clay, energize your battery, and reinforce a bridge. But when you think in terms of people it is necessary to think in terms of an “acting-with” mentality. We’re in this thing together. An “acting-upon” mentality is antithetical to Invitational Leadership.

In the television series The Sopranos, the lead character, Tony Soprano, is an extreme example of top-down, acting-upon management. Despite the occasional display of kindness and generosity toward associates, such leaders are of the command-and-control variety.

Any system of leadership that employs fear, duplicity, seduction, embarrassment, humiliation, ridicule, or subversion — regardless of good intentions or successful outcomes — cannot be viewed as Invitational Leadership. From an Invitational Leadership perspective, the ends do not justify the means.

The Power of Invitational Leadership

The power of Invitational Leadership can be monumental. Great and good leaders throughout history have believed that people have within themselves vast resources of strength, courage, and self-actualization. Successful leaders have discovered ways to invite others to share in the leaders’ vision, to look ahead to tomorrow’s promise.

There are countless examples of humans overcoming seemingly insurmountable challenges when they are suitably invited to do so. Sidney Jourard, in his classic book, The Transparent Self, wrote: “There are no intellectual, social, physical, or psychological barriers that individuals cannot transcend provided they share the company of people who believe certain things, and who invite others to share in them.” This is a clarion call to recognize the relatively boundless potential of each person. To expect less is to diminish the human potential.

The Uniqueness of Invitational Leadership

Invitational Leadership differs significantly from past leadership theories and models because of its six overarching principles:

1 People are able, valuable, capable of responsibility, and should be treated accordingly.

2 Intentionality creates a culture of respect, optimism, and trust promoting positive social change.

3 Leadership is a cooperative and collaborative alliance where everyone matters.

4 Human potential, though sometimes not readily apparent, is always there, waiting for the invitation.

5 This potential can best be realized by leaders who intentionally invite the process.

6 Motivation is intrinsic; every human being is always motivated to maintain, protect, and enhance his or her perceived self-system.

These six guiding principles provide a consistent and reliable roadmap for optimal personal and professional living and leading.

The Stance

The concept of stance is useful here to indicate the typical or general position from which the leader operates and the leader’s typical pattern of action. In baseball, a stance is the unique way a batter digs in to make solid contact with the ball. Baseball players develop a stance that is consistent and comfortable — a stance that makes it more likely that the batter will hit the ball. Likewise, the invitational leader develops and takes a consistent stance, even under harsh situations.

The Invitational Journey

Throughout our book we note that the journey of Invitational Leadership is a lifetime quest — one of continuous self-exploration and self-discovery. Indeed, all through our lives we are constantly coming to terms with who we are, how we live, and how we matter in our world. And we devoutly want to be about the things that really matter.

In the aftermath of the 9/11 terrorist attack, a speaker came to the Kennesaw State University campus and related the following incident:

A man emerged on that fateful day from the rubble and ruin of the second tower, still clutching his briefcase, blanketed with dust and debris, clothes torn, his face covered with cuts. A policeman approached him and ordered, “Come with me, Sir. You are in a state of shock.” The man pulled himself up to his full height, stared for a moment at the policeman and replied, “I’m not in shock. I am fully cognizant for the first time in my life — fully cognizant of what really matters.” That sent a shiver through the audience; it set us all to thinking, to reflecting. How profound it must be to have that shock of recognition — to be fully aware of what truly matters, of what is really important in our lives.

At about the same time that the speaker came to campus, one of the authors was reading Carl Sandburg’s Remembrance Rock. In that novel, the protagonist goes once a year to this particular rock and asks himself three questions:

Who am I?

Where do I come from?

Where am I going?

Pondering these and like questions beckons us to turn within, to remove ourselves momentarily from the noise and clutter of everyday life — to go into our own silence to explore and discover, fully realizing the Greek imperative: gnōthi seauton, “know thyself.” The invitational leader comes to know him- or herself and then reaches out to others to help create for our world what the poet Alan Brownjohn refers to as the “Commonwealth of Decency,” a world wherein we honor diversity, pursue social justice, promote civil discourse, and treat each other with dignity and respect to serve the common good. Caring about each other and for each other may well be the noblest expression of our humanity.

Of course, the journey is yours. As the poet Walt Whitman reminds us, “Not I, nor anyone else can travel that road for you. You must travel it for yourself.” And as you travel that road, there will be many challenges to meet and choices to make — critical choices. The philosopher Jean Paul Sartre contends that we derive meaning and values through our decisions in everyday living. Further, we are free to make whatever choices we will — the only limitation to our freedom of choice is that we are not free not to choose. We must choose. And our choices are consequential, since they result in acts and behaviors that ultimately become who and what we are; in short, choice becomes character. Free agents, we are responsible for creating the very purpose, meaning, and values in our lives through our choices.

To conclude, we have emphasized that Invitational Leadership has a significant personal component. To be truly inviting towards others, after all, we must be inviting toward ourselves. Now we would like to go back to our Remembrance Rock and ask an all-important fourth question: What meaning am I making of my life and work, and how can I help others to make meaning of their lives and work? For the invitational leader, answering that question is part of a lifelong process of joy, discovery, and human service.