Читать книгу Over the Ocean, Over the Sea - Y. Yoshi - Страница 7

Sho and Rei were seated on the walkway outside the house again, listening to the waves and watching the stars slowly appear as they sipped on seafood stew. It has barely been a week since Rei decided to stay, but Sho has already settled into this new normal of having someone else around. It was better than being alone after all.

So far, Rei has asked him about a lot of things. He seemed excited about the prospect of leaving, and judging by how curious he was about what things were like in the rest of the world, away from this island, Sho guessed that Rei has probably lived his entire life here. He never did ask though. He decided that as long as Rei didn’t ask about his past, Sho wouldn’t ask about Rei’s either.

Rei held his bowl of stew in his hands with a relaxed expression on his face as he listened to the crashing of the waves. Bringing the bowl to his lips, Rei glanced over at Sho and caught him staring. He raised an eyebrow, amused. What?

Sho hastily looked away, not realising that he had been watching Rei for a tad too long. Mutely, he shook his head and drank his own stew, munching on the shellfish that came with it.

“You’ve been preoccupied, these couple of days,” Rei commented.

“No, I’m not,” Sho muttered. He avoided Rei’s eyes, staring at the undulating waves below them instead. He didn’t quite know how to ask about the compass yet.

“What is it?” Rei probed, turning to face Sho as his robes rustled softly.

Sho glanced at him for a moment. “It’s nothing.”

“So there’s something then,” Rei confirmed. Sho could hear a smile in his voice. There was another rustle as he felt Rei come close. Peering at Sho up close, Rei said, “You want something.”

“Huh?” Sho looked at Rei, hiding his surprise under impassiveness.

Rei put his bowl down. Tracing Sho’s jaw with chilly fingers, Rei looked into Sho’s eyes, as if peering into his consciousness. As Rei smiled, Sho felt his heart skip a beat. He was beginning to struggle with keeping a straight face.

“I know what you want,” Rei whispered as he grinned, inching closer.

“What?” Sho asked, feigning ignorance as he pulled back.

Rei cupped Sho’s face, stopping his retreat. “That compass… and…”

“And?” Sho raised his brows, partly startled by Rei’s guess, partly perplexed by the idea that there was something else. What else was there?

Rei suddenly widened his eyes in surprise and blinked, as if snapping out of a trance. His hand left Sho’s face as he retreated. Picking up his bowl, Rei stood up and walked back into the house without a word.

Sho remained seated on the walkway, startled by Rei’s abrupt departure as he quietly finished the rest of his stew on his own. The whole event was weird, unnerving to say the least. He supposed that Rei could’ve guessed that he wanted the compass since that was what Sho eyed every time he went into the cave. But aside from that…

Just as Sho’s bowl went dry, he heard Rei’s footsteps exiting the house. Fingers tapped on Sho’s shoulder. Looking up, Rei standing behind him with an open palm, wordlessly asking to take the bowl from him. Sho stared at him for a moment, trying to make sense of the strange expression that Rei had on his face but he failed to reach any form of understanding.

Rei twitched his fingers and Sho put the empty bowl in his hand, brushing his fingers over Rei’s. Why his mind thought that was significant, Sho didn’t know but Rei lingered for a moment, staring at Sho with a slight crease in his brow. Eventually pulling away, Rei walked back into the house with the bowl, leaving Sho alone again.

A sudden thought struck Sho. Could it be that Rei was debating whether or not he should relinquish the compass to Sho? He sighed. Then again, he didn’t necessarily need ownership of it. He could technically just borrow it from Rei.

As Sho stretched his legs out and leaned back, a bottle of rum was put down on the floor to his left. Rei settled on the floor too, kneeling with his legs to the side, as usual. Without looking at Sho, Rei uncorked the bottle and said, “Drink with me.” It sounded more like an insistence than an invitation.

Obliging, Sho took the first sip then passed the bottle to Rei. Surprisingly, he mimicked Sho’s sip instead of drinking in large mouthfuls like on previous occasions.

Putting the bottle down, Rei was silent for a moment, staring at the sea with an unreadable expression before saying, “Is there a reason why you always have your eyes on me?”

Sho felt another jolt and he shifted his eyes away, embarrassed. There was nothing negative in Rei’s tone, no disdain whatsoever, but Sho couldn’t help but feel awkward. Rei was right though. For some unfathomable reason, Sho’s gaze would just naturally end up on Rei, as if there was some kind of magnet that subconsciously drew him to Rei.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to,” Sho muttered, thoroughly abashed.

“It’s not that I mind,” Rei said. “I was just wondering…”

“Hm?”

“Will you leave without me?”

Sho frowned. “Why would I do that? Didn’t we agree that we’d leave together?”

“Well… If there were circumstances that prevent me from doing that, will you go off on your own?”

“I don’t… understand. Why would-”

“It’s just hypothetical,” Rei cut in as he turned to Sho and flashed a smile. “Just… what if. Will you go?”

Sho stared, trying to decipher the reason for all the strangeness that Rei suddenly started exhibiting. He supposed answering Rei’s question might shed some light on that…

“I don’t feel inclined to do that,” he said frankly. “I agreed to take you with me and that’s what I intend to do,” Sho added firmly, turning away to cast his eyes over the sea again. He reached for the bottle and took another sip, hoping that the rum would settle the unease that had begun to grow. He really didn’t like the idea of leaving without Rei.

A soft laugh came from Rei. “I see…” he muttered. Sho heard Rei pick up the bottle, drink, and set it down again.

Sho waited for Rei to say something, but nothing came and the silence between them drew out. The waves continued crashing. Neither of them touched the bottle. Rei remained mum.

Eventually, Sho’s patience wore out. “Why did you ask such a question?”

Rei turned to Sho, leaning closer to him. His eyes slowly wandered over Sho’s body; his slim legs, crossed; the borrowed faded navy robes, wrapped around his slender frame; his collarbone and chest left exposed by the loose neckline; his hair, now long enough to reach his shoulder blades.

“Rei?” Sho called and Rei snapped his eyes to Sho, his expression inscrutable with a strange look in the dark depths of his eyes.

“I can give you the compass,” Rei finally said. “But the other…” His words trailing, Rei looked down, his finger tracing the grain of the wooden planks.

“What ‘other’ are you talking about?” Sho asked, perplexed. “If you’re worried about me leaving you behind, I’m telling you that’s not happening. Is my word not enough for you?” he continued, growing upset as a distressed frown took its place on his brow.

“It’s not that,” Rei denied. “It’s just… If you… I’m scared that you’ll…”

“Is it about what happens after we leave?” Sho ventured. “You can stay with me. With the boat and the promissory notes we can go anywhere, do anything,” he said. After a moment, a thought struck him. “Or are you worried that I’d abandon you then?” Sho laughed bitterly, suddenly feeling dread instead as he smirked wryly. “I’m more afraid that you’ll leave me after finding out how much more interesting the rest of the world is compared to me.”

Rei stared at him and Sho froze, realising what he just said. He didn’t even understand what compelled him to say something like that. He liked Rei but he shouldn’t stop him from exploring the world… right?

With that in mind, Sho hastily added, “But if you want to, you should.” He immediately reached for the bottle and drank a couple of mouthfuls, trying to ignore Rei’s intense stare and calm the butterflies in his stomach.

“And if I don’t want to?” Rei asked, his voice soft.

“Then do what you want,” Sho said nonchalantly, hiding the small sliver of gladness he felt.

Rei chuckled and shifted. “I… don’t know if I should.”

Sho moved to get up, grunting as he said, “Well it’s your choice, isn’t it?” He could feel Rei’s eyes following him as he walked back into the house. “I think I’m going to turn in,” Sho muttered. Maybe sleep was what he needed to clear his head. He had expected Rei to head indoors with him, but this time, Rei chose to stay on the walkway while Sho lay down to sleep.

It felt like Sho merely blinked, though, when he stirred to the vague sensation of something brushing across his cheek and heard a quiet murmur of his name. “Sho…”

“Hn?” Sho grunted groggily.

There was a sharp intake of breath. “You’re awake?” Rei whispered, startled. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“What is it?” Sho slurred. Cracking his eyes open as he turned, Sho saw the vague outline of Rei illuminated by the light of low fire in the hearth behind him which reflected off his robes. It looked as if Rei’s pale skin was adorned by spots of multi-coloured lights in Sho’s blurry vision as he rubbed the sleep out of his eyes.

“No, no, it’s nothing,” Rei muttered quickly. “Go back to sleep.”

“I’m awake,” declared Sho. His eyes still felt dry but it didn’t matter. “What is it?”

“It’s nothing. I was just thinking about… things,” Rei insisted. “Don’t worry about it, just go back to sleep.”

“You were touching my face, weren’t you?” Sho asked, speech still slurring. Adjusting his position, Sho lay on his side as he faced Rei.

Rei’s eyes grew wide and he turned flustered. “You must be mistaken! I don’t- I haven’t-”

“Weren’t there other occasions too?” Sho continued, looking past Rei to look at the wall behind him. “Though I think your hands were under my clothes.”

“Ah! No! I- That’s- You weren’t supposed to wake up…” Rei’s protests diminished into a whimper.

Sho hummed, amused by Rei’s denials. “What were you trying to achieve? Hm?” he muttered as he reached for Rei, who let Sho take hold of his fingers without much of a response.

Looking at Sho, Rei seemed to have words stuck in his throat while his eyes shone with unguarded feelings, with disquiet, with yearning. As affected as Sho was by Rei’s emotions, it was the honesty of it that struck Sho harder. Rei was usually so enigmatic with his actual sentiments hidden under the layers of teasing and playful flirting.

A shine in the gloom suddenly caught Sho’s attention. It was the bottle of rum that they were sharing earlier. Or rather, it was now just the bottle. Worry gripped Sho. It was still almost full when he went to bed. Rei never had that much to drink. Then again, Sho was usually there to take the bottle away.

Sho gently pulled Rei toward him, down towards his chest. “Rei, it’s fine, let’s just go to sleep, alright?” he coaxed.

“Sho…” Rei called, his voice barely a whisper as he looked up at Sho while held close. Before Sho could react, Rei reached up and pressed his lips to Sho’s, kissing him softly.

If there was any shred of drowsiness left in Sho, it had all been swept away by shock. He wasn’t upset by Rei’s affections, but he certainly wasn’t expecting it. He wasn’t even sure if this was something that will stick around when Rei turns sober.

Sho felt Rei’s lips part and push his tongue against Sho’s lips, teasing them open as Rei slid his tongue in. Rolling onto his back, Sho grunted, trying to hold back from giving in to Rei’s advances but Rei kept pushing, pinning Sho under him as he snaked his arms around Sho.

The cool fabric of Rei’s robes felt like silk against Sho’s skin, a contrast to the heat building within Sho, made starker by Rei’s chilly fingers caressing his face and body. Rei sucked on Sho’s lower lip before flicking his tongue against Sho’s once more and then shifting lower, to his jaw and neck.

“Rei…” Sho growled low, taking in deep breaths as he tried to calm himself down. It didn’t seem like Rei heard him. Feeling Rei’s hand slip under his robe and run over his chest, Sho gasped and tightened his arm around Rei.

“Rei!” Sho hissed, his tone growing sharp. Still no response. Deciding to take things into his own hands, Sho held Rei as he rolled over. Rei lay wide-eyed and frozen under Sho, stunned by Sho’s aggressive move and the sudden switch in their positions.

“Rei, please! Stop!” Sho pleaded.

“But why?” whined Rei. His face scrunched up as frustrated tears filled his eyes. “Aren’t I one of the things you wanted?”

Sho flinched. Was that the ‘other’ thing that has been bothering Rei? But how could Rei tell? He wasn’t that easy to read, was he?

Quickly recovering, Sho muttered disapprovingly, “You’re not a thing!” Rei looked away and pouted, chastened. “And not now! Not when you’re like this!”

Rei rubbed his pelvis against Sho’s groin, making Sho lurch closer to Rei with a surprised grunt. “But you want me, don’t you? Sho?” Rei purred, his voice low and seductive.

Cursing violently, Sho grabbed the blanket and bundled Rei up in it. “For fuck’s sake go to sleep,” Sho said, ignoring Rei’s protests and struggles.

As Sho wrapped his arms and legs around Rei, restraining him, a devilish grin appeared on Rei’s face. “I can feel you,” he whispered in a sing-song voice.

Sho felt pressure against his crotch. His face growing warm, he headbutted Rei, smacking his forehead into the other man’s. It hurt but that stopped Rei. “I said stop it! I’m not doing anything with you when you’re this drunk!”

“I’m not drunk!” Rei whined again.

“Just listen to yourself!” Sho reprimanded, unyielding in his stance as Rei continued complaining.

Eventually, Rei gave up, resigning himself to be content with nuzzling against Sho while curled up in the blanket. By the time Sho finally fell back asleep, the hearth had died and he was beginning to feel the cold creep under his skin, pulling him into an uncomfortable sleep.