Читать книгу Note: To read before the wedding - Yury Gurkov - Страница 5

What is interesting, – that one of the biggest difficulties in the topic of choosing a husband is not only the opportunity to talk about it in details or to understand what is important step by step. It is also extremely necessary to know things without which it is impossible to start moving even in your thoughts towards the wedding.

You will not be able to find such talks for a young lady for love or money, if for no other reason because she will not share her secrets. Some modest parent’s attempts to suggest "where you need to pay attention for" are always laughed out of court because of the child’s closeness and the challenges of her growing up. But in a little while this girl may herself become a mother. Some tips from the same inexperienced friends are more like the advice from one child to another – how not to share a candy.

It is difficult to talk about a comprehensive approach to choosing a husband, starting even with the fact that the ability to reflect and reason objectively is not developed in many of us, especially in young people. Both the lack of life experience and unwillingness to listen to the elders ties a hard knot in this task. Perhaps it was also the chosen by parent’s one-sided position on this issue when the teenager was still up to 16. And then there is the dominant concept of biochemistry in love. All these components not only do not make practical approach "how to choose a good husband" as clear as a bell. They no longer take into account all the concepts, often mixing them to complete confusion in the young head.

IT IS DIFFICULT TO TALK ABOUT A COMPREHENSIVE APPROACH TO CHOOSING A HUSBAND, STARTING EVEN WITH THE FACT THAT THE ABILITY TO REFLECT AND REASON OBJECTIVELY IS NOT DEVELOPED IN MANY OF US, ESPECIALLY IN YOUNG PEOPLE.

You cannot talk about this topic only once or twice – it will not work. I know this because I had a great experience with many people. It will not work for many reasons:

– the topic is very extensive, you need several approaches, you need time to contemplate;

– while communicating with each other, people often find it complicated to select the necessary and what is even more difficult – paramount factors for choosing a spouse.

Stereotypes can press. For example – how to choose a husband? Answer: «That should be a good guy. He should be handsome, love his wife to the moon and back and earn a lot of money. That is all!» As soon we will find out – it is not all and not all at all:

– everyone has formed views on it;

– not everyone is ready to reveal to other and speak frankly;

– the conversation often veer towards certain subject, clinging to one of the moments;

– when opinions clash, the conversation is often in an impasse;

– it is difficult to admit mistakes or gaps in this important issue;

– most part of people are closed to new in these issues, considering themselves completely right.

Tonight you are alone with the book. It is a chance to get a better handle on this issue. You can argue and disagree; it is only the opinion of the author. These questions are often very intimate, deeply internal. And yet, it is uncustomary to analyze this topic, and this can be seen in the examples below and in the examples of people living next to you.

Consistent consideration of many components of the choice of a life partner is collected through frank and blatant interviews of people of different ages living in different cities and countries. And each of them gives you the opportunity to see the mistakes of the characters. Also there are some answers to questions and you have the chance to draw a conclusion on your own. It is not hard to notice that until we do not go deeply into this topic, everything seems right, good, like it should be. Well, what is that got to do with you – who and how is choosing a husband or a wife? All people are independent, they will figure it out in their own. What is more, it seems not really correctly to stick one’s nose into this question.

You can not pry into and leave things as they are, but when you remember that the reason for most divorces is a woman up to 50 years who suddenly (after the marriage) found that she had married the wrong person, it is clear that "sticking a nose" is simply necessary. That she was not prepared for ‘life as a couple’ with her husband and she was incompatible with him – like other 47 % of couples which are incongruous. What is that compatibility? How could she be so superficial in cognition of her future husband? How could she marry him? Now highlight this point in bold and check your compatibility on fundamental issues for you before the wedding.

Next time you will pass by the registry office and see happy couples waiting for their turn to be married, you can boldly delete every second couple from the family relationships. Very soon the market of brides and grooms will have these broken hearts after the first incompatibility. And again with the same zealous zeal they will look for the soul mate. But now they will be already in the status of «experienced», "knowing life", and after the second divorce they will become «professionals», just not in the way is needed and so on.

Maybe all that is what you think and you do not talk to anyone. You can find some practical and judicious people with whom the communication will be easygoing in order to listen to other points of view, to listen to yourself from the side. After reading there is every likelihood that you will discover a lot of new things and change your mind. You will start a new movement – "Happiness to every home". Let’s start with your own.