Читать книгу Note: To read before the wedding - Yury Gurkov - Страница 7

Now let's tear love and happiness limb from limb. How can you manage to build your halcyon fate from the very beginning – from choosing the right candidate? Of course, this process has many other factors – after the choice, after the wedding, but we will talk about it later. As you will see, the choice of a husband or a wife is an insoluble rebus for the majority.

In no instance I do not deny that love should move the bride and groom to conclude a marriage alliance. In the book you will not find any information, any sentence or any word about it, it is made in the belief that it does not take a rocket scientist that love and attraction are on the surface.

It's just that love and appetence to each other – the way we used to understand it – are risk considerations, the reasons that separate people, if they are not thinking, contemplating or making any thought process – to think who is in front of you. Sometimes people do not think at all. We say only some beautiful words of love and longing in order to cover up our ignorance or unwillingness to analyze. So what should you pay attention to when choosing a groom, if love remains in default general and fundamental?

IT'S JUST THAT LOVE AND APPETENCE TO EACH OTHER – THE WAY WE USED TO UNDERSTAND IT – ARE RISK CONSIDERATIONS, THE REASONS THAT SEPARATE PEOPLE, IF THEY ARE NOT THINKING, CONTEMPLATING OR MAKING ANY THOUGHT PROCESS – TO THINK WHO IS IN FRONT OF YOU.

The trick is that if we do not know thoroughly our future spouse, husband or wife, love remains as if «naked», and it should be dressed not only in beautiful clothes from our romantic ideas. Love should be firstly dressed in practical clothes, which are not afraid of any quarrels that make us feel the cold inside of our hearts, or any conflicts of values, collisions of characters which make us nervous and heated, or any household fittings, or showers of tears, or reproaches or even insults.

Such «clothes» everyone should gather in his list of what he knew and definitely find a lot of new things. The attentive reader will find something new in the examples, images and his or her own reflections after each chapter.

Some comparisons and allegories will be our helpers in a long conversation. These comparisons often remain in our memory and help us to carry advice and recommendations through time. Let us turn to one of them, maybe a little strange one for girls – an example of successful fishing. We will not look at the fairytale about the goldfish, we will talk about real fishing.

In order to catch an ordinary fish the most common fisherman does not throw a fishing rod from the beach of the lake, saying that it is convenient for him or there is a sandy entrance. He makes a strategic plan. At first by studying and asking seasoned fishermen when it is better to go for the morning bite, when to the evening dawn. And dozens of specialized «secrets»: what wind will be better for the bite, million little things in gear and the peculiar features of each fish. One of them sharply and thoughtlessly falls to the hook with killer, the other on the contrary can try for hours and eat everything without getting caught. Without the ability to analyze the situation, the fisherman would have nothing to do – he simply will not catch the desired fish.

Reviewing the analogy with our topic, the desired husband can not be caught, if you also do not know the important and necessary moments: "a strategic plan, when and where to go to find a husband, which wind from the interlacing of personality traits will be favorable and which hurricane will be more feeble for the family life and of course a million little things that can be a stumbling block in the future." And to catch your own best husband, you will have to turn on the switch actuator of analytical analysis in your head and do not turn it off preferably until great age.

Couple dozen examples are waiting for you ahead. They will show you that the absence of such an assessment of a husband or a wife has led to varying degrees of consequences, which are difficult to call the little nothings of life. It is rather a disaster, disappointment, bitter crust from the sweet expectation of splendid and delicious daily communication with your loved one.

When we visit doctors, we heed a piece of their advice and recommendations on how to preserve health. Their words are very important for us, we follow them as if they are primary rules. We stop eating fat or reduce alcohol, do not overstrain the heart or vice versa – start to run, swim.

The wrong choice of the husband – it is also a disease, but not the disease of the body, but rather the «soul». It is painful to see how young and enamoured people get married very hasty or being frivolous acquainted with each other. Their future is too predictable – divorce, shock, anger towards the opposite sex and other «symptoms». Please promise yourself to hunt down a question how should be analyzed, considered and weighed long and happy family relationships before the wedding bouquet.