Читать книгу 8 Bags of Mice - Z.C. Christie - Страница 17

HANDY HINTS ON OTHER STUFF

Fire ants are evil, vicious insects straight from the Bowels of Hell. Their sting is 20 times stronger than a wasps, and burns like a fire under your skin. There is no cure, and the pain lasts for weeks. These ants are tiny, black, and mean. Those little sandy mounds you will see on the ground all over down South? They are nests. Alligators can and do bite you and don’t mind eating you for lunch, either. Please do not get suckered in by the weirdo’s on Discovery or Nature channels on TV, who state that these creatures are misunderstood or harmless. Alligators only do two things: they either eat you, or they don’t.

You can indeed fry an egg on the hood of your car in Louisiana in the late summer, when temperatures are at their hottest, but it’s really hard to get it off afterwards, so don’t be as stupid as I was when you try it. Be smart and fry it in a frying pan that’s placed on the hood of your car.