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الفصل الثامن

ڡي سفر معجّل وهَيْنوم عُقْمىّ رَهْبل

Chapter Eight

A Voyage Festinate and Language Incomprehensibly and Inscrutably Intricate

4.8.1

وظل الفارياق معالجا للبخر وقد ضاق بهم ذرعا * اذ لم يحصل من علاجهم فائدة فاصبح يحاول التملّص من هذه الحرفة ولا سيما انه كان مطبوعا على الملل والجزع * واتفق فى غضون ذلك ان سافر الى فرنسا المولى المعظم * احمد باشا باى والى ايالة تونس المفخم * وفرّق على فقرآ مرسيلية وباريس وغيرهما اموالا جزيلة شاع ذكرها ثم رجع الى مقامه * فراى الفارياق ان يهنئه بقصيدة فنظم القصيدة وبعث بها على يد من بلغها لجنابه * فلم يشعر بعد ايام الّا ورُبّان سفينة حربية يطرق بابه * فلما دخل واستقر به المجلس قال للفارياق قد بلغت قصيدتك لجناب سيدنا الاكرم * وقد امرنى ان احملك اليه فى البارجة *

The Fāriyāq continued to treat the foul of breath but was at his wits’ end, for the treatment did no good. He tried, therefore, to wiggle his way out of this trade, and all the more so as he was by nature given to boredom and disquiet. During this period, it so happened that the August Master, Aḥmad Pasha, Honored Bāy of the Autonomous Province of Tunis, made a trip to France and distributed vast sums of money, that were everywhere spoken of, to the poor of Marseilles and Paris. Then he returned to his seat. It therefore occurred to the Fāriyāq to write him a congratulatory ode, which he did, sending it by hand with someone to deliver to His Excellency. Before only a few days had passed the captain of a warship knocked on his door. When he had come in and settled himself, he told the Fāriyāq, “Your ode has reached Our Most Noble Master and he has commanded me to bring you to him in my ship.”

4.8.2

فلما سمع ذلك استبشر بالفرج من حرفته وقال لعمرى ما كنت احسب ان الدهر ترك للشعر سوقا ينفق فيه * ولكن اذا اراد الله بعبد خيرا لم يعقه عنه الشعر ولا غيره * اَلا فَاهزقى يافارياقية المِهزاق * واسلُقى فما يضرنى اليوم اسلاق * ونفّجى ما اسطعت ان تنفّجى * وضرّجى وضمّجى ودبّجى * هذا يوم يعبق فيه المكتفَن * ويشبق فيه من وهن * ويشمق منه ذو الددن * ويفاز بالغدن * هذا يوم تستحسن فيه الرَّبوخ * ويُلقح فيه من به مُلوخ * وتتئم الجلهوب والسلقلق * وتُنجب الشريم ثم العَفْلق * هلمّى فاتخذى مذ اليوم ظيرا * فانى ارى فى الزند اِيرا * فقال الربّان وقد استعجم عليه الكلام ما هذه اللغة التى تتكلمون بها لعمر الله ما فهمت شيا مما قلتم * اهذا اللسان تحمل فى راسك الى تونس * وبهذه الالفاظ تخاطب سيدنا واهل الفضل من رجال دولته * قال لا وانما هذه لغة اصطلحنا عليها فلا نستعملها الا نادرا * فقال الربّان ينبغى ان تتاهّب الى السفر ولك ان تستصحب ايضا عائلتك اذا شئت * فان سيدنا اكرم الناس لا يسوٓءه ذلك * فتاهب الفارياق هو وعائلته وركبوا فى السفينة وبعد مسير اثنى عشر يوما والريح مخالفة كما جرت العادة بذلك بلغوا حلق الواد * فامر المولى المشار اليه بنزولهم فى دار امير البحر *

When the Fāriyāq heard this, he took it as an omen that he was soon to be freed from his trade and declared, “I swear I thought the days had left no market where poetry might find a buyer, but if God wishes good fortune for His slave not even poetry can get in the way of it. Rictulate, dear risible Fāriyāqiyyah, and vociferate (though not in alarm)! Today not even she-wolves could do me harm! Dunk yourself in every ounce of unguent you possess; dab it and daub it, and take silk brocade for your dress! On such a day as this, our copulatorium must be redolent of musk—even its limpest occupant must experience lust! The giddy-pate, on such a day, must run amok and enjoy his luck! On such a day as this, the swooning prude¹⁰⁷ faints with pleasure, the stud that shies from service gives full measure, the wide-wooed woofer and back-passage bleeder¹⁰⁸ bear twins, the single-barreled bawd,¹⁰⁹ followed quickly by the termagant, throw pups despite their sins! Up with you, woman, and from today play the mooning she-camel that lives its false calf to lick, for I see curly shavings on the fire stick!”¹¹⁰ The captain, to whom these words sounded like a foreign tongue, asked, “What language is this that you speak? I swear I didn’t understand a word of what you said! Is this the tongue you’ll carry in your head to Tunis? Are these the words with which you will address our master and the great men of his realm?” “No,” replied the Fāriyāq. “It’s just a private language we’ve agreed on between ourselves and use only rarely.” The captain then said, “You must get ready to travel, and you may bring your family with you if you like, for our lord is the most generous of men and such a thing could never upset him.” So the Fāriyāq and his family got ready, embarked on the ship, and after a twelve-day voyage (the wind, as usual, being contrary), reached Ḥalq al-Wād, where the aforementioned master commanded that they be put up at the admiral’s house.

4.8.3

وهنا ينبغى ان نلاحظ مزية الكرم التى خص الله تعالى بها جيل العرب دون سائر الاجيال * وذلك ان استدعآ المولى الموما اليه لم يكن لجميع من دبّ ودرج بمنزل الفارياق بل كان خاصّا به وحده * الا انه لما بلغ مسامعه الكريمة قدوم مادحه باهله لم يستأ من ذلك ولم يقل ما اقلّ ادب هذا المدعو وما اصفق وجهه لقدومه علينا مزويا * ولم يقلْ لربّانه قد خالفت القوانين السياسيّة والاوامر الملوكية فلننزعنّ عن كتفيك هدّاب منصبك حتى تكون عبرة لمن اعتبر * بل بقى الربان متشرفا بهدّابه * والفارياق متمتعا باهدابه * وبوّئ اكرم مبوّأ فى دار امير البحر واجرى عليه الرزق الكريم * والخير العميم * ولو ان احد اعيان الافرنج دعا شخصا واتاه ذلك الشخص ومعه غير نفسه لجبهه عند اللقآ بل لم يكن ليلقاه قط * لا بل نساوهنّ لما كنّ يدعون الفارياقية كن يقلن لها انك انت المدعوة فقط اشارة الى عدم ازوائها بخادمتها وطفلها *

Here we must draw attention to the propensity for generosity with which the Almighty has distinguished the Arabs to the exclusion of all other races, for the invitation of the previously mentioned master was not intended for everyone who trod the boards of the Fāriyāq’s house: on the contrary, it was peculiar to him alone. However, when news of the arrival of his eulogizer, with family, reached his ears, he was not upset and did not say, “What an ill-mannered guest you are and how deserving of a slap on the face for coming to us and bringing others with you!” Likewise, he didn’t say to his captain, “You disobeyed protocol and the orders of your monarch, so we shall strip from your shoulders the epaulettes of your rank that you be a warning to those who take heed!” On the contrary, the captain continued to bear the honor of his epaulettes while the Fāriyāq continued to enjoy his services and was lodged in the most generous style in the admiral’s house and supplied with ample goods and plentiful good things. If a Frankish notable invited someone and that person went and brought with him anyone but his own self, the notable would confront him when they met; in fact, he wouldn’t even meet with him at all. Indeed, when their womenfolk used to invite the Fāriyāqiyyah, they would tell her, “The invitation is for you only,” meaning that she was not to bring her maid and her child with her.

4.8.4

وليت شعرى اين من تكرم من ملوكهم بارسال بارجة لاستحضار شاعر ولغمره اياه بالمال والهدايا النفيسة * فلعمرى ان مادح ملوكهم لا جائزة له من عندهم غير تسفيهه وتفنيده * مع انهم اشد الخلق حرصا على ان يشكرهم الناس ويمدحوهم * ولكنهم يانفون من ان يمدحهم شاعر يريد نوالهم * فلمن هذا المال الذى يدّخرونه * ولايّة داهية من الدواهى يُعتدونه * وهم الطاعمون الكاسون * الحاسون اللاسون * ام يخشون ان يلمّ بهم ضفف او قشف * ام يحسبون ان صلة الشاعر من السرف *

I’d be intrigued to know which of their kings ever sent a warship so that he might bring a poet into his presence and shower him with money and costly gifts. I swear that all anyone who writes eulogies to their kings ever gets by way of reward is patronizing treatment and ridicule. Even though no people are more punctilious in insisting that others thank them and praise them, they turn their noses up at a poet who, in hopes of gaining their favor, eulogizes them.¹¹¹ For whom, then, is all that money that they store away? Against what disaster do they set it aside, when they are already well-clothed and fed, well-watered and banqueted? Are they afraid they’ll be laid low by a surfeit of children or by poverty, or do they believe that a gift to a poet is an extravagance?

4.8.5

ولهذا اى لكون الكرم مزية خاصة بالعرب لم ينبغ فى امة من الامم شعرآ مجيدون مفلقون كشعرائهم على اختلاف الامكنة والازمنة * وذلك من زمن الجاهلية الى انقراض الخلفآ والدولة العربية * فان اليونانيين يفتخرون بشاعر واحد وهو اوميرس (ομηρος) * والرومانيين بڤرجيل (Virgilius) والطليانيّين بطاسّو (Tasso) والنمساويين بشِلَر (Schiller) والفرنسيس براسين وموليير (Racine et Molière) والانكليز بشكسبير وملطون وبيرون * (Shakspeare, Milton et Byron) فاما شعرآ العرب المبرّزون على جميع هولاء فاكثر من ان يُعدّوا * بل ربما كان ينبغ فى عهد واحد فى زمن الخلفآ مائتا شاعر كلهم بارع فائق * وذلك لان اللُّها^١ كما قيل تفتح اللها * على انه لا مناسبة بين الشعر العربى وشعرهم * لانهم لا يلتزمون فيه الروىّ والقافية وليس عندهم قصيدة واحدة على قافية واحدة ولا محسنات بديعية مع كثرة الضرورات التى يحشّون بها كلامهم * فنظمهم فى الحقيقة اقل كلفة من نثرنا المسجّع * وما احد من شعرآ الافرنج استحق ان يكون نديما لملكه * فغاية ما يصلون اليه من السعادة والحظوة عند ملوكهم انما هو ان يرخَّص لهم فى انشاد شعرهم فى بعض الملاهى * فاىّ هوانٍ يلحق جناب الملك المعظم من اتخاذه الشاعر نديما وكليما * ام يقال ان شعرآ الافرنج كثيرون بحيث لا يمكن للملك ان يختار واحدا منهم على غيره * ارونى اين هم هولآ الكثيرون على خزنته السعيدة * كم فى بلاد الانكليز الان من ناثر * وكم فى بلاد فرانسا من ناظم *

١ ١٨٥٥: اللهى.

This fact—that generosity is a trait peculiar to the Arabs—explains why no truly glorious and distinguished poets equal to theirs have emerged in any other nation at any place or time, reckoning from the Days of Barbarism to the end of the caliphs and the Arab empire. The Greeks boast of a single poet, namely Homer (Ὅμηρος), the Romans of Virgil, the Italians of Tasso, the Austrians of Schiller,¹¹² the French of Racine and Molière, and the English of Shakespeare, Milton, and Byron, while the number of Arab poets who surpass all of these is too large to count. Indeed, over one period during the days of the caliphs there may have been more than two hundred poets, all of them brilliant and outstanding, the reason being that “purses,” as they say, “open throats.” Moreover, there is no comparison between the poetry of the Arabs and theirs: they do not observe the rules for rhyme-consonants and rhymes¹¹³ and do not have poems with a single rhyme or stylistically exquisite embellishments, despite the large number of metrical infractions with which their verse is stuffed. In fact, their poetry is less demanding than our rhymed prose, and not one of the poets of the Franks would have been good enough to be a boon companion to his king: the highest degree of good fortune and favor any of them may reach is to be licensed to recite some of their verses in certain theaters.¹¹⁴ And again, what shame would attach to the august person of the king from taking a poet as the companion of his potations and conversations? Or is one to suppose that the poets of the Franks are so numerous that the king couldn’t make up his mind which to choose? Tell me, what are they, compared to his auspicious treasury? How many prose writers are there now in England, how many poets in France?

4.8.6

وهنا ينبغى ايضا ان اضيف ملاحظة اخرى فاقول * انه قلما ينبغ شاعر عربى او عجمى ويعجب الناس جميعا * فان من الشعرآ من يحب الكلام الجزل الفخم دون ابتكار المعنى * وبعضهم يعنى بالمعانى دون الالفاظ * وبعضهم يتحرّى اللفظ الرقيق والعبارات المنسجمة * وبعضهم الغزل وغير ذلك * ولا تكاد تجتمع هذه المزايا كلها فى شاعر واحد او تجتمع عليها اخلاق الناس كلهم * فان من كان من بنى نَظَرى ذَبَّ الرِياد شَحِما لَحِما مُخْضعا متصندلا زِيْر النسآ وخِلْبهن وشِيْعهن ونِسْأَهن وحِدْثهن وطِلْحهن وطِلْبهن وخِدنهنّ وعَلّهن ورَنُوّهن وحُرْقوصهن(١)(١) الحرقوص بالضم دويبة كالبرغوث حمتها كحمة الزنبور او القراد تلصق بالناس او اصغر من الجُعَل تنقب الاساقى^١ وتدخل فى فروج الجوارى * فاقحا اياهن حيث سرن * وكارزا لهن ايان برزن * لا تهمه الحماسة ولا منازلة الاقران * فعنده ان قول امرء القيس

اذا ما بكى من خلفها انصرفت له

بشق وتحتى شقّها لم تحوّل

احسن من قول عنترة

فطعنته بالرمح ثم علوته

بمهند صافى الحديدة مِخْذم

ومن يكن عِرْوا او عَزِها او حصورا او عِتْوَلا مُقْطَعا او متاَبّدا او عَنْكَشا عِثْيَلا او صَيْقما صمكمكا كيكآ ليس به حمضة الى العَبْهرة العجنجرة * والعياذ بالله من ذلك * صرف ذهنه الى الزهديات والحكميات * انتهى

١ ١٨٥٥: الاسافى.

And here I must draw attention to a further point: rarely does a poet, Arab or otherwise, come to prominence who pleases all. Some poets like eloquent and ringing words more than innovation in meaning while some concern themselves with meaning more than with words. Some search for the refined word and the harmonious expression, others for amatory or other effect. All these traits are unlikely to consort together in a single poet, just as not everybody’s predilections are likely to be in concert regarding them. Any connoisseur of women who is an oryx bull, rubbery and blubbery, a silver-tongued sweet-talker, a lady’s man, one who delights in their company, their fervent supporter, their friend and companion, their follower, their soul mate, their constant visitor, who dies to talk with them, a beaver-boring beetle,(1)(1) The ḥurqūṣ [“beaver-boring beetle”] is “a small creature like a flea with a stinger like that of a hornet, or a tick that clings to people, or something smaller than a beetle that bores through waterskins and enters the vaginas of young women.” bruising their bungholes wherever they go, sniffing around wherever they pee, will have no interest in derring-do and snicker-snee. He will believe that the words of Imruʾ al-Qays that go¹¹⁵

Whenever he whimpered behind her, she turned to him

With half her body, her other half unshifted under me

are better than those of ʿAntarah that go¹¹⁶

So I thrust him with my lance, then I came on top of him

With a trenchant Indian blade of shining steel.

Likewise, anyone who is uninterested in or indifferent to women, or unwilling to have relations with them even though he is able, or who is of no use to and without any predisposition toward them, or is a confirmed bachelor, or is scruffy and takes no interest in his appearance, or wears no perfume and doesn’t adorn himself, or smells foul, or breaks wind disgustingly, or is of no value generally, with no pressing desire for the delicate, fine-looking, white-skinned, plump, full-bodied woman or the short, curvaceous, tightly-knit woman (God save us from such things!) will divert his attention to poems of asceticism and sage advice. End.

4.8.7

ثم ان الفارياق انتقل الى المدينة وهناك تعرف بجماعة من اهل الفضل والادب * منهم مَن ادبه ومنهم من اترفه * وهناك حظى بتقبيل يد المولى المعظم ونال منه الصلات الوافرة * وساله وزير الدولة هل تعرف اللغة الفرنساوية * قال لا ياسيدي ما عُنيت بها * فانى ما كدت اتعلم لسان الانكليز حتى نسيت من لغتى قدر ما تعلمته منه * فقد قُدّر على راسى ان يسع قدرا معلوما من العلم فمتى زاد من جهة نقص من اخرى *

Next, the Fāriyaq moved to the city, where he became acquainted with a group of persons of virtue and culture, some of whom invited him to their banquets while others assured him of every luxury. There he had the honor of kissing the hand of the August Master,¹¹⁷ from whom he received copious gifts. The minister of state enquired of him whether he knew French, to which he replied, “No, my lord, I have not bothered to learn it, for as soon as I started learning English I found myself forgetting an equivalent amount of my own language. Fate has decreed that my head shall hold only a predetermined amount of knowledge and that when that expands in one direction, it shrinks in another.”

4.8.8

فلما اخبر زوجته بذلك قالت له * الم اقل لك غير مرة عَدِّ عن الغزل بالنسآ وتعلم هذه اللغة المفيدة وما كنت لترعوى عن هواك * ماذا تريد من الغزل وعندك زافنة * قال فقلت نعم ورافنة * ثم قالت ماذا يفيدك وصف العِين بالحَوَر * ولست منهن تقضى الدهر من وطر * اليس ورآك منى رقيب قريب * قلت بلى والله انى ما خلوت قط بامراة فى الحلم الا ورايتك ورآها * حتى كثيرا ما شاهدتك تمزقين ثوبها وتنتفين شعرها ثم تتبوّاين مكانها وترسلينها فارغة * فقالت الحمد لله على ان القى رُعبى فى قلبك فى اليقظة والمنام * قلت قد بدا لى ان انتقل من التغزل بالنسآ الى هجوهن فعسى ان انتقل بذلك الى حال احسن * قالت افعل ما بدا لك ولكن اياك من ان تدخلنى فى الجملة * ولكن قف قف لا تذكر النسآ لا فى النسيب ولا فى الهجآ * فانك اول ما تذكر اسمهن يدور راسك وينبض فيك العرق القديم * كلّا ثم كلا *

When he informed his wife of this, she said to him, “Haven’t I told you more than once to have done with writing love poems to women and to learn that useful language? You would not, however, abandon your obsession. What need have you of love poetry when you have someone to take care of your every conjugal need?” Said the Fāriyāq, “And I replied, ‘True enough, and a wanton strutter indeed.’ ‘What good to you,’ she went on, ‘are descriptions of beauties as being “dark of pupil, white of eye,” when you will never get from them what you want? Do you not have a watchful warden looking over your shoulder, in the shape of my good self?’ ‘By God, I do!’ I replied. ‘Every time I find myself alone with a woman in my dreams, I see you right behind her. In fact, I’ve often seen you ripping her dress and pulling out her hair, then taking up residence in her place and sending her off empty-handed.’ ‘Thank the Lord,’ she said, ‘that you’re as scared of me asleep as you are awake!’ ‘It had occurred to me,’ I replied, ‘to move from writing love poems about women to satirizing them, in the hope of moving into a better situation.’ ‘Do as you please,’ she replied, ‘though you must take care not to include me along with the rest—but stop, stop! Don’t speak of women in either your erotic or your scurrilous verses, for as soon as you mention their name your head turns and the old Adam throbs within you. No, and again no!’

4.8.9

قلت ولكن فى مدح سيدنا الامير قد ذكرت اسم امراة * فقالت وقد اتقدت عيناها من الغيظ مَن هذه الفاعلة الصانعة * قلت هو اسم عربى * قالت آه هو من ضلالك القديم * ولو كان اسما عجميا لقمت الان واحرقت ديوانك هذا الذى هو علىّ اشد من الضرة لانك تصرف فيه نصف الليالى * فقلت لكن هذا النصف ليس بمانع من كله * قالت لكن ذاك الكل حق لى وضعفَى مثله * قلت صدقت ما خُلق الليل الا للنسآ وما خلقن هن الا للّيل * قالت سلّمتُ بالاولى ولا اسلّم بالثانية * فان النسآ خلقن للنهار ايضا * قلت نعم ولكل ساعة منه وليس للرجل همّ فى الدنيا غير امراته * قالت الاولى ان تقول اهتمام * قلت فى كل اهتمام همّ * قالت هذا عند الرجال من فشلهم وليس كذلك عند النسآ * قلت هو من خفة عقولهن وثقل نهمهنّ فان اللذة تذهلهن عن الدين والدنيا معا * قالت بل هن يجمعن بين الثلثة فى مكان واحد وآن واحد * واما انتم فمتى كلفتم بواحدة منها اغفلتم الاخرى * وهذه من المزايا التى مزّانا بها البارى تعالى عليكم * اَلا ترى ان المراة اذا سمعت مثلا خطيبا جميلا يخطب فى الناس ويزهدهم فى الدنيا تلذذت بكلامه وشغفت حبا بجماله وبكت زهدا فى العالم *