Читать книгу Mediation - Alain Lempereur - Страница 54

In a situation of conflict, past experience leads a person or a group to be suspicious of the other. Based on a negative experience, one fears the worst:

 With the same interlocutor: A party was “fooled” once, and no longer wants to take a chance. Once bitten, twice shy.

 Or with other interlocutors in a similar situation: A party suffered from harmful events elsewhere and does not wish to risk a recurrence.

Past painful experiences drive caution and reluctance, which manifest themselves even when the causes have vanished. With attentive and benevolent ears, the mediator probes and explores what has happened, uncovering the sources of distrust in order to move forward. This suspicion may appear during joint or private meetings. An understanding of real or perceived risks helps to elaborate guarantees or other acts likely to restore confidence.

Distrust of the other pushes someone toward a third party, who might not be discarded the same way. When the mediation idea emerges in a suspicious party's mind, another question is quickly raised: who would be this neutral person who inspires enough confidence to overcome such ingrained suspicion? Often, the confidence in a potential third party precedes the very idea of mediation. As one first thinks of someone trustworthy, the idea of mediation comes later.