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In a divorce, the husband refuses to grant a $2,000 monthly payment of alimony to his ex‐wife. She demands this sum, producing a budget of her monthly needs and those of their children. In mediation, the husband reveals that he understands the necessity of this sum, but his new partner considers that it would be offering an undeserved luxury to his ex‐spouse. He needs the solution to be understood by, and acceptable to, his new partner. It is thus not as much the financial aspect that annoys him, contrary to how it appeared at the start. Once these respective needs are clarified, the parties come to imagine appropriate responses to it. During the mediation, an acceptable solution for the parties (but also for the new partner in the background) emerges. First, the ex‐husband transfers a $1,000 alimony to his former spouse, who will manage this sum for herself and both children. Second, he will grant up to $1,000 to cover a part of the rent, which he will transfer directly to the real estate agent. This final clause ensures that the money is not used for another purpose. The agreement is thus durable, responding to the needs of both parties.

This example underlines that beyond negotiators – the ex‐spouses – quasi‐negotiators, however absent from exchanges, exercise an important influence on the choices of official negotiators (Colson 2007). A party's refusal in mediation is sometimes rooted in the fact that another stakeholder, absent but decisive, is not taken into account in the solution. That is why the mediator's approach claims to be as inclusive as possible. To assure a durable agreement, it is important to map out all the relevant protagonists who might be impacted by the consequences of the agreement, block it, or, on the contrary, encourage it.

The following example illustrates the advantage of mediation in finding solutions that integrate the needs of all parties and in organizing the agreement's sustainability by anticipating changes in circumstances and their potential consequences for the initial agreement.