Читать книгу Mediation - Alain Lempereur - Страница 63

The scenario is frequent in negotiation: two parties sign a direct, rapid agreement between them, but it is revoked a little later by one of them or not executed at all. Why has an agreed‐upon commitment not seen the light of day? Have the parties truly explained themselves in depth? Have the identified solutions put an end to the problem? Have the parties really claimed ownership of the agreement? All these questions shine light on a powerful criterion in favor of mediation: a solution will be all the better accepted if none of the parties feel it is imposed on them.

In conflictual situations, emotions and tension between parties enable an entrenched position to emerge: mine. Here, only “my” solution can be the right one. The conflict, where one digs in one's heels, is also a way of preserving one‐sided self‐esteem: “I am a good person. The one who is at fault is the other.” On the other hand, if mediation works, the parties find sufficient time to explain their perspective to the other and to really understand one another. The self‐esteem of both parties is preserved and reinforced. Each person is considered, and more easily recognizes some legitimacy in the other's words and actions. The mediation process helps the parties to formulate acceptable solutions that were not imaginable at the beginning, but that emerge when one better understands the deep motivations of each party.