Читать книгу The Power of Being - Андреас Грубер - Страница 18

Thoughts and emotions are intimately related. Every thought corresponds to an emotion, like the reverse side of a coin. We don't complain about the pleasant emotions, but what do we do with the unpleasant ones?

It is clear to most of us that whether we merely think about a lemon or take a bite, the reaction in the body is essentially the same. Most obvious is that the mouth starts watering. Scientists say that the brain is not reacting very differently to something actually happening now, or a thought or memory. Considering that an average person has up to 50,000 thoughts per day, and most of them are connected to emotions and reactions, this represents a significant strain, hidden within ourselves.

Descartes once stated: "I think, therefore I am!" And I can certainly remember times in my life, where I would identify with many of my thoughts, to such an extent that I felt one with them, and they were one with me. As if I would have believed that I am my thoughts, in the same way as we may have the impression that "I am my body."

To be identified with our thoughts is not rational. It's a habit that overrules wisdom.

One possibility is to be fully identified with the content of my mind; the other is to realize that most of these thoughts are only passing by. It made a big difference to me, on a very practical level. There is no more reason for me to run after these thoughts, to understand them all or to get attached to them.

This matters to me because identifying with thoughts, implies reactions, and reactions result in strain and lost energy. To accept them as passing objects, on the other hand, helps me to change my habitual reaction patterns. Imagine, we would watch the latest James Bond movie and react physically to every scene. There would be more action in the cinema auditorium than on the screen. People would run around all over the place. No, we don't behave like that, because we have untrained ourselves to react on that level, to become mere spectators. We allow ourselves to be emotionally moved by this movie because we like that part of the experience.

I remember as my daughter was around five years old, she would not be able to stay in a cinema for more than 20 minutes because she still thought the movie was real. She interpreted every scene as reality, as most of us tend to do at that age, depending on how much television experience we have. Some of us get the hang of it earlier.

So, what we can do in the movies, we can also do with the content of our minds and the subsequent emotions. What a relief that would be for many of us. Think about it, thousands of thoughts leading to emotions. To react or not to react to them makes a big difference. Most of our thoughts and emotions we are not even aware of, but at the subconscious level it drains our energies.

In the case of the James Bond movie, you could argue and say, that on a deeper level we still do react. Yes, that's the point. And we do that mainly for two reasons. 1) We want to experience these emotions to be able to enjoy the movie. 2) We normally do not know how to go deeper and un-train our mind's reaction towards that stimulus even if we wanted to. I'm not saying we would need to go all the way, but what I'm saying is that it's not impossible.

Emotional maturity is like wisdom; it doesn't come with the delivery.

So the message is that we ought to look for opportunities to use our habits in our favor, instead of against us. We ought to make use of our minds in the most productive way. Throughout this book, you will get some invitations in that direction.

As a leader, you may have wondered how to deal with other people's emotions. If you learn to deal with your own thoughts and emotions first, other people's emotions will probably never present a problem to you again. Emotional maturity is a process we are personally in charge of. First, we face it, then observe it, then we deal with it.