Читать книгу Natboff! One Million Years of Stupidity - Andy Stanton - Страница 6

Many hundreds of years ago, when Lamonic Bibber wasn’t even really a town yet, just a few huts and a warlock who lived on Boaster’s Hill turning turnips into balloons, there lived a massive giant. Now, this giant’s name was Gavin and he really was large. His head, right, his head was so big, right, his head was so big that, well, here’s the thing, right, his head was sooooo big that, OK, I hope you’re ready for this, his head was soooooo ENORMOUS, right, that OK, hold on, his head was sooooooooo massive that it was about the size, are you sure you’re ready for this, his head was sooooo vast that – well, to be honest, I don’t really know how big his head was.

But his hands, right, his hands were SO UNBELIEVABLY HUGE, so UNBEARABLY, INCREDIBLY COLOSSAL, right, his hands, his hands yeah, OK, fair enough, I don’t know how big his hands were either. But what about his feet? Oh my goodness! You see, Gavin the giant’s feet – and I do hope you’re sitting down to hear this because it really will blow your mind – well, actually I have no idea how big Gavin the giant’s feet were either.

I tell you what, can we start again? The story of ‘The Massive Giant And The Flea’ is amazing and I want to get it exactly right.