Читать книгу Your Man. 4 Personality Types - Artsun Akopyan - Страница 5

About half of the world’s population consists of men, and they are quite easy to distinguish from women. They have wider eyebrows, larger noes, thinner lips, and sharper chins.

And yet they are not molded to the same pattern. A man’s face can be distinguished not only from a female one, but also from another man’s, even if they belong to the same nationality. Representatives of the stronger sex also differ from each other in age, height, figure, hair color… In short, the appearance of men varies across the board, unless they are twins.

But perhaps the phrase “all men are the same” is true when it comes to behavior? No, there is no common standard for this factor either.

One man is an adventurer, another is a control freak.

One counts the change at a cashier’s desk carefully, another shoves it into his pocket without looking.

One chatters like a magpie, another prefers not to waste words.

One constantly violates the rules of the road, another does it accidentally for the first time in ten years (and probably receives a large fine).

One is a football fan, another is mad about philosophy, poetry, and Renaissance paintings.

One was kicked out of school because of academic failure, another received three different university diplomas and is fluent in five languages.

The list of examples is endless. The conclusion is unequivocal: each man behaves in his own way. Even twins who grew up in the same family act differently!

Maybe “all men are the same” when it comes to their attitude towards women? This is also incorrect!

Do you require examples? No problem!

There are men who believe in eternal love and devote poems to ladies. They are called hopeless romantics. There are others who believe in the power of money, and order women to their house by phone. They are considered cynics.

There are men who are submissive to their wives. They are nicknamed henpecked husbands. There are other husbands who only obey their dark desires. They are called petty tyrants.

There are those who reject marriage in principle. They are confirmed bachelors. There are those who marry several times in a row and never file for divorce. Those are polygamists.

What is the conclusion? Are all men so different that they have nothing in common?

As you know, there are no two people on earth with identical fingerprints, faces and skull shapes. The same applies to behavior. Nevertheless, we as humans strive to find out what standard the people around us belong to, and to categorize them into groups. Firstly, by gender, then, by age, height, shape, color, physical attractiveness, and behavior.

Why do we do this?

Because we as human-beings seek to understand whether a person is like us or different, attractive or not, dangerous or harmless.

Behavioral typing is important for us. It helps to understand what to expect from a person in various situations.

If you know that a man is a chatterbox, he will most likely prattle endlessly at the next meeting, which will not surprise you. But if he comes tight-lipped, something uncharacteristic of him, you should be wary. Is he ill or angry, or trying to hide something from you?

Uncharacteristic behavior is an alarm. It is a warning that you should keep your eyes open!

Conversely, if a person behaves as usual, you can relax. You know what to expect from them. If you understand the man correctly, chances are there will be no unpleasant surprises.

But what if you do not understand him well?

The consequences can be painful. You expect praise from the man, but find out he is irritated for an unknown reason. You may think that he is delighted with your new hairstyle, but then notice that he’s staring at your friend’s tattoo. You hope to enjoy a romantic evening with lots of hugs, but he ends up tinkering with his car in the garage until midnight, returning all covered up with black oil, a stench of which drowns out your new perfume. Great expectations do not coincide with reality. Who is to blame? You. Those were your expectations.

Wishful thinking leads to unfavorable outcomes. You invent a person’s identity and attribute it to your chosen person. After that, you wonder why his behavior seems so strange.

It is not strange at all. Your man behaves in accordance with his “role type’ derived from his temperament, upbringing, education and life experience. He interacts with the world in a way that is natural for him, not for you.

There are several types of men in terms of their interaction with the world. Therefore, guides like “How to keep a man attracted to you” can be useless, and sometimes even harmful. You cannot make everyone fit into the same pattern! What one likes leaves another indifferent and repels a third. The odor that attracted your first boyfriend can cause an allergic reaction in your second one!

To avoid painful quarrels, try to make out who your chosen one is. Separate features like “tall,” “broad-shouldered” and “clever” are not enough, you need to use a more nuanced approach.

How can you do this? How can you understand what “role type’ he is?

First, you need to figure out what role types there are. This will be discussed in the next chapter.