Читать книгу Communication - Carolyn Boyes - Страница 14

Have you ever had to move away from a colleague or client because you felt as if they were intruding into your personal space? It is such an uncomfortable feeling, and, if the person continues to crowd us, we will feel very unfriendly towards them and will be unlikely to want to do business with them.

Our personal space is composed of several invisible zones around us. If someone intrudes into these, we begin to feel very uncomfortable. We will let a lover or a close family member come very close to us, but a stranger or a work colleague cannot come as close.

The closest invisible zone (from the skin to 18 inches/45 cm around us) is called the personal zone and is reserved for people we are happy to be touched by or to touch. If a stranger comes into this intimate space, it will feel as if a warning bell has immediately gone off. You will sense the intrusion and want to move away. Around 30% of people will move within one minute of someone invading their space.

The need for personal space varies from culture to culture, so it is something that is very important to become aware of, especially if you are doing business internationally.

“The emotional brain responds to an event more quickly than the thinking brain”

Daniel Goleman, American author

There are even differences between people from the town and from the country in terms of how much space they need around them. This means becoming aware of not only people coming into your space but also how you might be unconsciously becoming a ‘space invader’ as well.

To avoid becoming a ‘space invader’, follow these simple rules:

1 Pay attention to the body language of the other people you 1 meet in any business situation, particularly when abroad. Judge the distance people commonly stand apart.

2 If someone starts moving back from you while in conversation, don’t pursue them, but allow them to keep some distance between the two of you.

3 If they become comfortable in your company, they will close the gap a little or you will at least see their body language relax. You will probably feel the difference too, as the atmosphere warms and you feel more in rapport.

Be conscious of the invisible zones of personal space and avoid being a ‘space invader’.