Читать книгу Communication - Carolyn Boyes - Страница 15

Why are handshakes so important in business? Handshakes are one of the few times we let a stranger come into close contact with us and come into our invisble personal zone. Touching someone is such a personal interaction that, when someone touches us, we form an immediate impression of them.

A handshake is such a simple thing on the surface. After all, what are you doing? Just extending your right hand and shaking the other person’s right hand. But there are so many variations, partly due to personal preference but also to cultural acceptability.

A firm handshake gives a totally different impression to a light handshake. Too firm, and you come across as if you are trying to control the other person. But too soft, and it becomes the dreaded ‘wet fish’ handshake – a limp hand that lacks all authority and is very uncomfortable for the other person.

Here are a few pointers to the perfect handshake, which will make you appear businesslike and competent.

one minute wonder Anxiety shows in the hands. It makes them feel cool or clammy, which is very unpleasant for the person shaking those hands. Conversely, warm hands make us assume that the person is warm and trustworthy. So, smile and be relaxed when you shake hands, and the other person will feel it in your handshake.

 Watch your grip. Ideally it should be strong and steady rather than held lightly with the fingertips just touching the other person’s hand. The fingertip grip can give the impression of a lack of confidence. In the perfect business handshake, your hands will be level with the other person’s. Your grip will be firm but neither too tight nor too loose. It will feel open and self-confident, whether you are a man or a woman.

 Keep it simple. Some people will pat you on the shoulder or touch you on the elbow or wrist while they shake your hand. Others may place their hand on top of, rather than level with, yours. Be careful of any of these gestures and affectations, as they may be perceived as either too intimate or too dominant.

 Don’t hurry. Hold the other person’s hand firmly and pump it three times or so. Only one pump, and you will come across as tentative. Give them time and attention when you greet them, and you will make a far better first impression.

 Learn any local variants. The handshake is recognized in most cultures. However if you are doing business abroad then it is worth checking to see if any variants or alternatives are more common in business, for example bowing or praying-style gestures in parts of Asia.

Practise having a firm, level handshake where you take the other person’s hand and pump three times.