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Also known as preschoolers, this is the age group of three to five years, when your child’s world is opening even wider, and with it increasing opportunities to explore, question and socialise. Obviously you will still be nurturing your child and tending to his or her needs (and will be for many years to come), but you will also be giving your child more responsibility, including responsibility for his or her behaviour. The conversations you have with your child will have greater depth: you will discuss options and outcomes, and make decisions together. At the same time you will be providing discipline and enjoying your child’s character. Your child’s behaviour will be reflected in the multitude of little choices and decisions he or she is now faced with, each and every day. The guidelines and boundaries you put in place in the previous years, using the 3Rs, will be even more important now, as your child strides towards greater autonomy and independence.

The preschool child should now be aware of your rules for acceptable behaviour and will already be following many of them without being reminded. However, children of this age are naturally enthusiastic and impetuous, diving into things without the pre-thought or consideration an older child might give. Even the ‘easiest’ and most cooperative child will sometimes surprise/shock a parent with a burst of unacceptable negative behaviour. The child’s world is opening up very quickly, and all manner of things are now possible for the child, which weren’t before, and this can be overwhelming. Your child will need to know more than ever that you are there to guide, advise and reassure, and that you love him or her unreservedly, regardless of how bad his or her behaviour is.

If your child is already off track and displaying very challenging and demanding behaviour, which leaves you frustrated, sad, angry and dreading the next day, see Chapter 6. Now let’s look at what we can reasonably expect of a child in the three-to-five age range with the average likes, dislikes, needs, demands and negative behaviour.