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Managing your child’s behaviour will be even more important now, to reinforce the expected standard of behaviour at home and also at school. It is essential you work closely with the teaching staff, so that any behavioural issues can be dealt with immediately and consistently. If your child sees that everyone is ‘singing from the same hymn sheet’, he or she will be more likely to respond and to modify any unacceptable behaviour. Never undermine the staff by siding with your child over a discipline matter, even if you are smarting from being told that your child has been naughty. Far from it increasing your child’s cooperation and respect for you, your child will view you as an (equal) accomplice, and your authority will be severely challenged. If you feel your child has been unfairly disciplined at school, make an appointment to see the teacher or a senior member of staff to discuss your concerns. The school’s influence in respect of the expected standards of behaviour is a valuable ally in reinforcing what you have put in place, and are putting in place, at home.

What might not be so helpful will be some of the influence on your child of other children in the playground. At this age children are still trying to assimilate the world around them, learning much about what we take for granted, so they will need plenty of guidance in their decision making. They will also be taking huge strides into autonomy and independence, trying and testing different behaviour and adapting what suits their personality in line with your guidelines. Many of your guidelines and boundaries for good behaviour will already have been accepted by your child and become second nature to him or her, while others will need reinforcing, particularly when your child hears others at school doing what you have forbidden. Every parent will hear at some time ‘But Kevin does …’ or ‘Tracy is allowed to …’ as children compare and challenge the boundaries of acceptable behaviour put in place by their parents. Don’t be swayed. If you take your meals at the table (as I believe all families should at least once as day), the fact that ‘Everyone else is allowed to have dinner in front of the television’ is not an argument for changing your house rules, and don’t give in to ‘Can I have my dinner in front of the television if I don’t make a mess?’

Don’t be put on a guilt trip into buying material possessions either, just because other children reportedly own them. There are so many ‘must haves’ now and advertising is being directed at younger and younger children. Designer trainers, football team colours and mobile phones are not essential items for starting school, despite what your child may tell you. If your decision is that your child will not be having a mobile phone until he or she is twelve (or whatever age you think is reasonable), that is your decision. It is a reasonable rule and you can explain why to your child.

Tom and Claire are now one of many and no matter how vigilant the playground supervisors are it is impossible for them to monitor every action or hear every word spoken by all the pupils during playtime. Your child, however well behaved he or she is, will be subjected to playground influence, particularly from older and more streetwise children.