Читать книгу The Zombie and his Existential Crisis - Chantal Spies - Страница 5

“I really wish I knew what happened to us.” Frederick, Lord George and Gaston were laying on the grass back in the old cemetery. Lord George looked up at the ghost, “Gaston, can you travel to the day and time of Prince Frederick’s death and find out what happened to him?”

“Pardon, but there are rules in the spiritual realm. I cannot travel to the near past or future of the present time I find myself in, nor can I look into the past or future of another creature upon their request. I am only allowed to travel and observe for educational purposes.” Gaston informed them. The prince sighed and looked down at his feet. Gaston couldn’t stand to see the guy looking so miserable, “But what about the Princess? Surely, she knows how you died.”

“Yes, you’re right! We should go to the palace immediately.” Lord George shouted. But the heartbroken zombie had his own doubts about this, “I don’t know about that. I don’t know if I want to go back there.” he said. “What? Why?” Lord George asked.

“I just don’t know if I want to see her again. I mean, she’s beautiful, smart, perfect and well – just look at me. I’m scruffy, insecure and—” “Dead.” The roach wasn’t helping. “Thanks Lord George, you do know how just how to boost my self-esteem” Frederick said sarcastically.

“My Prince, you may be dead, but you still have an excellent personality, and you’re funny an charming too rigor mortis can’t rob you of that.” Lord George tried to convince the prince. “Alright. Off to the palace. Gaston you can teleport us through, don’t feel like swimming this time” The zombie said, not because Lord George convinced him, but because he didn’t have another choice.

Princess Minna paced around her garden. Nurse Melinda was busy hunting snails in the rose bushes. “He should be here by now. What if – what if something happened?” Minna couldn’t help but worry. “Maybe his legs rotted off, dear.” Nurse Melinda said in her matter of fact way as she tossed another snail into the bucket. Minna tried to ignore her, but she was scared, “I hope he’s okay. Maybe it’s just that he changed his mind at the last minute. Maybe he doesn’t want to see me anymore. He probably met some corpse bride and they’ve run off together.” the princess’s imagination ran off with her.

Suddenly, Nurse Melinda screamed in terror, “GHOST!” Minna ran towards the nurse. She stopped in her tracks when she saw Frederick, Lord George and indeed a ghost standing in front of her. “Minna!” Frederick shouted in her direction. Please don’t be afraid ladies. This is just our friend Gaston.”

“Bonsoir.” Gaston gave an awkward little wave and bowed. “He’s a friendly time-traveling ghost. He’s also pretty good at teleportation. That’s how we got here.” Frederick beamed. He was still impressed with his first teleportation.

Minna composed herself and cleared her throat, “A pleasure to meet you good Sir.” She tried to shake his hand. Her palm grasped nothing but cold air. “The pleasure is entirely mine mademoiselle.” Gaston delicately kissed the Princess’s hand. She politely pretended to feel it and curtseyed.

“Excuse me for interrupting this warm introduction, but I nearly died of a heart attack and you three are trespassing on private, royal, property.” Nurse Melinda angrily interrupted. “Oh, I do apologize for scaring you madam. Please believe me when I say it was not our intention to frighten you.” Frederick always remembered his manners. “I find that hard to believe Frederick. You certainly loved playing silly pranks when you alive. I doubt much has changed.” Melinda held a grudge evidently.

“Wait? What? You also knew me while I was alive?” Frederick could barely control his excitement. “Well of course. I am Princess Minna’s nurse after all. I know everything about her.” She said with a grin and a wink. “Well, this is great! Now I have two people who knew me while I was still alive.” Frederick said with a big smile on his face. “And me!” Lord George chirped in.

“Ladies, can you please tell us what happened to us? How did we die?” Frederick asked a little too eagerly. “Unfortunately, we don’t know much dearies. All we know is that your lifeless bodies were found next to the riverbed. No one could tell how it happened. There were no injuries or marks on either of your bodies.” Melinda answered in a matter-of-fact kinda way. “The healers’ best guess was that you were poisoned. But there’s a rumor amongst the townsfolk that you were killed with dark magic.” Princess Minna added. Lord George felt a chill going down his spine even though he was cold-blooded, “Princess, are you implying that we were murdered?”

“Murdered? So, is that why we didn’t move over to the other side? Do we need to track down the murderer and avenge our deaths?” Frederick wasn’t prepared for any of this. “Well actually--”, Melinda started to talk, but he was already too emotional to let her finish, “I don’t want to hunt down murderers. Or punish people.” She tried again, “No, that is not—”, this time a whiney Lord George butted in, “Neither do I. What a mood killer.” The nurse was too frustrated to let them continue with their pity party, “If you both would just let me speak! Poisoning is one of the theories. However, that does not mean that someone poisoned you. You were found right next to the Woody Nightshade. Maybe you mistook them for tomatoes and ate some. They are deadly you know.” Frederick and George pondered on that a little. “Makes sense. I do like little tomatoes.” Lord George was buying it. “Death by tiny tomatoes does sound a lot better than murder.” The prince also desperately wanted the tomato theory to be true.

“But wait a minute.” Minna interjected, “If they died simply by eating Woody Nightshade, why didn’t they move over to the other side? People only stay behind when they have unfinished business. So, what could it be?” She was secretly hoping that the reason Frederick didn’t move over to the other side, was her. Maybe their love was stronger than death. “Princess, you’re right.” Frederick said, “But how am I going to find out what my unfinished business is after life if I didn’t even know what it was during life?” Melinda cleared her throat, “No need to panic. The answer is simple: both of you never discovered your essence.”

“Our what?” Lord George asked, confused. “Your essence.” She repeated. “Yes, but what is this essence thingie? And where do we find it?” he persisted. The sudden change in subject caught Gaston’s interest. Now that things were getting less soppy and more philosophical, he was all ears.

“Allow me to give you a glimpse of the past.” Gaston said, as a vision of ancient Greece appeared behind him. “Back in the day, the philosophers Aristotle and Plato believed that we all had an essence. It’s a certain set of core properties that are necessary for a thing to be what it is intended to be. If you do not find this essence, well then, you fail.” Gaston explained.

“Then I am failing miserably! I don’t know what my essence is. I did not know what I was born to do while I was alive and now that I’m dead, I’m still clueless.” Frederick said as his shoulders dropped. “Well then we cannot waste any more time my prince! We have to go find your essence. I, for one, will definitely help.” George eagerly started looking underneath all the rocks around him. “No Lord George. I think Gaston means that one’s essence comes from within.” Frederick sighed. “Well that can’t be hard then. I will climb through your ear again and look for your essence.”

“No, Lord George, it is…” Frederick started to explain but was interrupted by a gasping Lord George, “Unless… the worms ate your essence!”

“Your essence is not something you can touch or that can be eaten by worms. It is something unseen but yet to be discovered.” said the ghost. “You just have to take a little journey and find yourself.” Melinda added rather mysteriously. They looked at each other in utter dismay, “A trip?” Frederick asked, with absolutely no idea what he was getting himself into.