Читать книгу 20 Something Manifesto - Christine Hassler - Страница 16

Welcome to my first and perhaps most infamous analogy: “Life is like the Cheesecake Factory.” If you have ever been to the Cheese-cake Factory, you’ll get this analogy. If you have not had the delectable dining privilege of this chain restaurant, let me explain: you sit down and the host hands you the menu, which is like a book — it has a spiral. There are 167 items to choose from and that is not including drinks, sides, and more than 20 types of cheesecake. Upon my first visit, I was immediately stressed out. First of all, the menu was heavy. Second, I felt like I needed an hour to read through all my options — there were too many things to decide among: from pizzas to salads to fish to pasta to burgers, every type of food seemed to be somehow represented (and I hadn’t even gotten to the cheesecakes yet). How was I supposed to pick just one dish? What was the best thing? As everyone else around me ordered, I became even more anxious — should I get what someone else was having? Would it be better than what I thought I wanted?

“There are so many options open to one at this time of life. With the way the world is today, we are encouraged to be all we can be, and more. There is pressure to make decisions that will form the foundation for the rest of your life in your twenties. It’s almost as if having a range of limited options would be easier.”

Human resources employee, 24, recovering from a breakup, Virginia

Finally, I did choose something — after asking the waiter an incessant series of questions about menu options (how in the world do they memorize it?). As soon as the waiter walked away with my order, I immediately felt buyer’s remorse. Did I pick right? As the food was delivered to the table, I looked at everyone else’s choices with envy. Their decisions looked better, I wanted their entrées. What was in front of me, now that it was mine, did not seem appetizing anymore. I was lost in comparison land. What happened to my nice evening out?

The twenty-something experience is full of limitless options and choices with no guarantees. Growing up, today’s young adults are exposed to an expansive world: they can leap nations and cultures in a single bound, and new forms of entertainment and technology multiply career possibilities almost infinitely. Yet as possibilities expand, contentment and a sense of direction among the twenty-something generation contracts. Being told “You can do and be anything you want” has become more of a pressure cooker of expectations than a motivational quote. And when you do make a choice about any aspect of your life, how do you know it will be both appetizing and satisfying? You don’t. And living in this Cheesecake Factory world makes that reality harder to swallow.

“I feel like the window to my future is all fogged up. Every time I wipe it in order to see it, it fogs up within seconds. I feel like I have all the options in the world — like life is one big multiple choice and I want to pick (d), all of the above.”

Bartender, 25, recovering from a breakup, Ontario, Canada

My solution, when I go to the Cheesecake Factory now, is that I don’t take a menu. That’s right — I refuse it. I have found one dish in the encyclopedia of food they call a menu that I like and I always order that. Why stress myself out with more choices? I order what I know I will enjoy and don’t fret over what I am missing out on. When, if ever, I get sick of the Herbed Salmon Salad (because I know you are curious), then I may entertain the idea of taking a look at the menu to investigate a little more — but I will never try to sample everything on the menu, it’s just impossible.

The same is true in life. Sometimes you just have to decide and be content with your decision, otherwise you will continue to be overwhelmed by possibilities and torn between the reality of what you have and the fantasy in your head that you think would be better. You know what is very interesting about the letters and emails I get from twenty somethings? There is always at least one complaint. Something is always wrong — and I am not being critical here, because believe me, I earned a PhD in complaining in my twenties. To me, the overfocusing on what is wrong is a direct result of the checklists and plans twenty-somethings feel pressured to create, coupled with Cheesecake Factory paralysis. It is challenging for today’s twenty somethings to be content in a world of endless choices and expectations.

“FOLLOW THE YELLOW BRICK ROAD” by Jennifer, 25