Читать книгу Shadows of the Cross - Craig Cashwell - Страница 11

Acknowledging your addiction may cause you to ask the following questions:

•If I am really a Christian, how can I be a sex addict?

•If I am really a sex addict, how can I be a Christian?

The creation story (Genesis 1) provides a good backdrop for these questions. Adam and Eve were living in Eden, in Paradise, which we might equate with living fully in accord with God's will. Based on certain choices and behaviors, however, they soon found themselves "East of Eden" and yearning to return home to a paradise of full communion with God.

What, then, can we call these two people in exile? If our Christian beliefs tell us anything, it is that they continued to be children of God.

No matter what you have done as a sex addict, you are a child of God.

Pause for a moment to think about that phrase.... You are a child of God.

Let's rephrase that statement.... I am a child of God.

Now read the sentences below aloud several times, reading slowly, breathing deeply, and, in turn, emphasizing each of the bolded words of the sentence. Pay attention to any experiences in your body as God speaks to you as you read these words.

I am a child of God.

I am a child of God.

I am a child of God.

I am a child of God.

Journal your reflections and reactions to this activity.

Often, we encounter Christian men and women in recovery who believe they are beyond redemption and that they simply cannot and will not be forgiven for their past behaviors. God's word is clear on this issue. The psalmist writes, "As far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us" (Psalm 103:12). We will discuss forgiveness (including self-forgiveness) later. For now, we simply encourage forgiveness and compassion toward others and ourselves. This is the model offered to us by Jesus. As we read in the Promises of Alcoholics Anonymous (AA), found in the Big Book, "We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it" (Promise 2 of Alcoholics Anonymous).

While we, in our humanness, do not forget the past (that is, shut the door on it), it seems that God can forgive our transgressions. What does God do with memories of our past as we begin the journey of recovery and work at changing our thoughts and deeds? Simply put, He forgets them:

"I will put my laws in their hearts, and I will write them on their minds." Then he adds: "Their sins and lawless acts I will remember no more."

HEBREWS 10:16B–17

Most of us struggle to understand the immense depth of God's love, forgiveness, and mercy. Can you begin to believe the words of Hebrews 10:16b–17? Not only does God forgive, but God forgets what you have done in the past.

Perhaps this is a moment to remember that God is a good and loving God.

In early recovery, many addicts stumble over the phrase "We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it." This encouragement to forgive yourself but not forget your past struggles rings hollow to many addicts in early recovery who are filled with deep regret. If you find yourself in a place of overwhelming remorse at this point in your recovery, take heart. Most of us do. Know that in time, the healing journey of recovery will help you begin to forgive yourself and others so you can finally own the memories of the past without them owning you.