Читать книгу Shadows of the Cross - Craig Cashwell - Страница 17

Each of us has our personal experiences and representations of God, sometimes referred to as "heart knowledge." To identify what you truly believe, try to:

•Let go of what you have been taught, your "head knowledge" of God.

•Take a few minutes to prepare yourself by closing your eyes, breathing deeply and asking God to lead you into the internal places (thoughts, feelings) that you need to access for this activity to be beneficial.

As you respond to each of the following questions, continue to breathe deeply and access the "heart" of your experiences rather than how you think you "should" respond. In your journal, elaborate on your responses.

•Do you believe in your heart that God is available to you?

•Do you believe that God is responsive to you?

•Do you believe that God is engaged with you in your sexual addiction recovery?

•In your heart, do you believe that God has, at some point, abandoned you either in your addiction or in your recovery process? Do you fear that God might abandon you in the future?

•Do you worry at times that you may not be good enough to be loved by God?

Now, take a few minutes to prayerfully consider any differences between your "head knowledge," or what you think you should believe about God, and your "heart knowledge," which represents your actual experience of God. Journal any differences that you perceive.

It's important to remember that we all have some disparities between our "head knowledge" (what we believe or have been told about God) and our "heart knowledge" (our experience of God).

This is not an exercise to shame you about how you experience God. Instead, it is intended to help you see where you struggle in your relationship with God. You may have found you are insecure about your attachment to God.

If you feel that God has or might abandon you, you most likely experience anxiety. If this describes you, you might meditate on the words of Deuteronomy 31:6:

Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.

If you fear that you are not good enough for God to love you, you may be avoiding your relationship with God. If this describes you, meditate on Romans 3:23–24:

For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and all are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.

You may even find that you experience both anxiety and avoidance in your relationship with God. The activities and experiences suggested in this book are designed to help you develop a more secure connection with God in Christ. This is vital and will lead to either a decrease in anxiety, avoidance, or both as you find the secure resting place in which, like a baby, you are always cradled in the arms of God.